Well London 2012 Olympics is all over. Bundles of medals for Team GB.
A quintessentially British Closing Ceremony with music from the Spice Girls, The Who, Tinie Tempah, Annie Lennox, Oasis or whatever they're calling themselves now, Emeli Sande, Jessie J and Queen with Freddie Mercury on screen.
Just had a text message saying the lefties at the BBC panned the camera on me dancing to the Spice Girls. They'll have to do more than that to embarrass me, I'm Boris the Buffoon, the unbreakable brain-dead bore.
At the end of the ceremony I handed over the flag and the flame to the Mayor of Rio, who has promised to show me all the good lap-dancing clubs when I visit in 2016. I wanted to arrive on a zip-wire but the elf'n'safety people wouldn't let me.