08.00 - Mrs Penelope Smythe-Withers
09.00 - Frunella Framlington-Fredwins
10.00 - Paternity test for child of Ms Matilda Pilkington-Stanley (utter balderdash - just because the little blighter has blonde hair!)
12.00 - Take push bike for service. (Thoroughly decent chap recomends getting it checked over - very important in escaping from slightly annoyed husbands)
Oh blast - paternity test is positive. Hope the new Cameron infant does not show a likeness to oneself, or one may be in for an old Etonian caning......