Dear Diary - Syria? Where the hell did Syria come from and who really the hell has heard of it other than the folks from Syria?
Damn, the country sounds like it was named by Kelloggs. But no matter, that country is getting ready to get a makeover right quick.
And when I get finished with Syria most of it is gonna be sitting at the bottom of the Mediterranean Sea.
My name is President Barack Obama and I certainly approve of this message y'all.