Dear Diary -
I'm happy as a woodpecker in a basket factory to say that I am so glad that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have left the country.
Goodness, I have never ever had to watch my p's and q's so damn much in all of my life. And what is up with all of this BS about eating with the third fork from the left first and then switching to the second fork on the right and then going back to the third fork on the left.
Hell just give me the damn food and let me eat it however the friggin hell I wanna eat it. Damn you'd think they were royalty or something.
Ah wait a minute. Ah hell. Never mind. And how in the world could anyone possibly say that they miss fog?