Today was a historic day in my reign. I met a guy with a purple hat. He claimed he wanted to sign a trade deal.
Without going to Congress (who kicked me out 'cos I had too many baseball cards), I decided I'd accept this guy's proposals as it would help my country develop from the shit we've caused.
I wish I could go back inside the Big House, but it seems those fools don't know a good politician when he comes. It's fine. I'll get my aides to make me a mock Senate instead.