Dear Manly Documentary of My Life,
Today I got bored. I'm bored with being the president. This is boring. Screw this. I've trying destroying the country by fucking around with the health insurance, but that didn't work. What should I do?
Maybe you should suck my balls, Mr. President.
Woah, you magically write back! Like in the second Harry Potter movie!
Movie? As in you didn't read the book? I hate you, Mr. President! You'll never suck my balls!
Great. Now even my diary hates me. But wait! My wife and kids don't hate me.
Oh, speaking of which, Michelle walks in right now and says, "No, honey, I hate you too."
Well, that was disappointing.But there's still my kids.
"Sorry Dad, but we agree with Mom. You can go fuck yourself."