Osama Bin Laden is my real dad and he bought me the White House.
Yes my daddy is Osama Bin Laden and he funneled cash into all these political groups that supported my candidacy, so that the stupid voters of the United States of America would vote me into office, giving me a chance to make America into a 1 party Islamic state governed by Sharia law, including the laws that say men can beat the crap out of women for not wearing a veil.
If you wanna know why Michelle is not wearing a veil, it is because she is covering up my intentions for this country, ha ha ha
Barack Saddam Hussein Osama Bin Laden
Illegally President of the United Snakes of America