I, Barack Hussein Obama, admit that I pray to toilets 10 times a day, I am also scheming to make it mandatory for every single household in America to have a picture of me on the wall, any American who refuses will be prosecuted for treason.
Furthermore I proclaim myself President for life, anyone who tries to fight this in court will be deported to a Chinese labor camp for re-education, by the way I was born in Kenya so I admit that I was illegally elected President but I don't care because I have suspended the constitution, I am above all the laws of the United States of America, all Americans are required to join my party the Socialist Democratic Workers party or these following allied parties: The Communist Party of USA, Hamas, Hezbollah, Council on American Islamic Relations, or The Sharia Law party all other parties whether they be Judeo-Christian Republicans, Libert...

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