Spent another night crying. I can't sleep. Every time I start to drift off, I see his face again - angelic, youthful, with that boyish charm. I didn't choose to do it you know, I couldn't help myself. Curse my incredible charm and amazing good looks!
People think I wanted to do them, that I did them out of my own free will. But it's not true, I tell you, it's not!
I am haunted by this curse, and I cannot escape. paul and Ian will be laughing on the other side of their face when I'm through with them. My show wasn't bad, some people seemed to like it.
Hate myself. Might as well die, just need to finish of my list of teens, then I'll do it. I'll commit suicide. I will. I hope