Alan Sugar - My Fake Diary

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Thursday, 22 March 2012

8am - The Boardroom: 'ere we go again wiv another series of The Apprentice. Faak me, if I'd 'ave realised that the only way I could cover up my dodgy appointment to the Haas of Lords was to sign up to another ten series of this shit I would have stuck to selling fruit off a cart at Hackney Market. Glad its not my money I'm chucking away. There's no way I would do this if the BBC licence payers didn't cough up the quarter of a Bernie prize money.

The producers 'ave found a right bunch muppets this time. One bird 'as turned up lookin' like she 'ad 'er makeup put on at the B&Q trade counter. The last time I saw that much purple on one person was at the circus. Who does she remind me of? Oh yeah it's that Stacey sort off of The Love Machine.

This morning the team did the traditional yearly sweepstake on which contesta...

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