Mein Kampf. My battle. Everyone probably has read my book by now. A true masterpiece. Yuuuuuuge. How dare they call me a dictator? Don't they know I'm still alive and well in the Bahamas, smoking the ganja with Osama Bin Laden? Ask Snowden if you don't believe me.
That guy knows way more than he leaked, believe you me. Vlad wouldn't be happy if he found out just how many international secrets Snowden has spilled under his watch. But this is not about Snowden, or Vlad or even Bin Laden.
This is about Heil Hitler and my undying fascist empire. I will not be silenced.
Yes, that's right CIA. I'ma come out and say it once and for all. Adolf Hitler is still alive.
Did you guys actually think I committed suicide? That's no fun! I would have missed the invention of drones, Google, Apple, the iPhone, the iPad, Donald Trum...