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By author at 00:00 1 Jan 2000 | 0 people like
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Daddy Goat Mummy Goat Baby Goat
Hey junior, I hope you haven't bought me another razor for Christmas this year.
And remember what I said last year about it not being nice to give a lady soap.
I've got a bar of soap and a nice razor going cheap if anyone's interested!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:55 19 Dec 2011
What a stupid place to leave a camera!
Quite so Billy, dear.
Can I eat it? Can I? Can I mother? Please..Aww Please
By Micflex at 18:57 19 Dec 2011
No dear.
*Winks at Daddy Goat* We had not noticed, HAD WE DEAR?
Mother.....Father....Why am I the only kid with a horn sticking out of my butt?
By Micflex at 19:08 19 Dec 2011
MMMmmmm So thats how Humans do it
Junior...SHUT YOUR EYES!
What are they doing mom?
By Micflex at 19:12 19 Dec 2011
When he bends down to get into the tent, junior you run and butt him in the butt
You two are acting like a couple of kids!
O.K. Dad.....I like this game.
By Micflex at 19:20 19 Dec 2011
Ask your mother.
Ask your father.
Oh, someone please tell me what a wether is!
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:14 19 Dec 2011
What is it son?
Yes....What is it son?
I dont know, but it only has one eye and I am not gonna be the first to blink!
By Micflex at 20:29 19 Dec 2011
Alright son what have you done this time?
Dont be so hard on him Billy.
It was like that when I got here...Honest Dad!
By Micflex at 20:31 19 Dec 2011
You tell em Shroty!
Billy, will you PLEASE stop calling Junior, that horrid name!
One Move and the Bunny gets it!
By Micflex at 20:36 19 Dec 2011
Ha! He's got you there dear.
Eerrrrmmmmm....
Mother, You know Fathers name is Billy.So I was thinking can I be Billy the Kid?
By Micflex at 20:50 19 Dec 2011
New balls please...Tee he he.
The one who always looks like he is in pain dear.
Mom..Which one is Andy Murry?
By Micflex at 22:00 19 Dec 2011
I'm going down the Pub.
That's nice dear.
Mom...I think I am gay.
By Micflex at 22:04 19 Dec 2011
Have we all got it?...I will eat the plants in the Pub car park
I chew on the hanging baskets
And I do an 'all you can eat' in the beer garden.
By Micflex at 22:08 19 Dec 2011
O.K. On the count of three...Riverdance!
X Factor, here we come!
But Dad...My hooves hurt!
By Micflex at 22:12 19 Dec 2011
Look over der it's himself!
Wow! It's Paddy McGinty!
Who?
By Micflex at 22:15 19 Dec 2011
Awwwwwwwww come on!
MEN!
That was never off side..was it Dad?
By Micflex at 00:55 20 Dec 2011
Glastonbury is the best festival in the world son..Trust me!
I hope Leonard Cohen is here this year.
Dad, I wana go to the Pyramid Stage and Kidz Field
By Micflex at 01:12 20 Dec 2011
Junior..Get it friggin right will you or you will never get into musicals!!
Please do not shout Billy. Son it's, High on a hill was a lonely goatherd..
Not 'goat turd' then mom?..Sorry..It's just the guys in school sing those words.
By Micflex at 01:45 20 Dec 2011
I think mine gives me an air of distinction,
My Lady Shave is in for a service.
What are you two like?..Those beards are so 90's
By Micflex at 01:59 20 Dec 2011
Just give it a chance son.
I have started 'pulling' to the right when I run.
Dad, this new age red ear jewellery is never going to catch on you know
By Micflex at 02:09 20 Dec 2011
"Don't worry son, you'll soon be as horny as we are!"
"Oh really Father!"
"Okay!!
By Inchcock at 06:38 20 Dec 2011
"..and I'm telling you he is Welsh!"
"........how can you be so sure?"
...."either way armageddon outta here fast!!"
By Herrdoktorfox at 19:49 20 Dec 2011
This is ridiculous. We're not reindeer, we're goats
Mark couldn't find a picture of reindeer. Wish them a merry Christmas Rudolph
Merry Christmas spoofers!
By Tommy Twinkle at 00:33 21 Dec 2011
"I wonder why we have been tagged?"
"So the farmer doesn't lose us dear?"
"Nar... it's to remind the Spoofer's to tag their spoofs!"!"
By Inchcock at 04:46 21 Dec 2011
Trust us to get lumbered with the chav Nativity play
Well, apparently they couldn't find 'three wise men'
...yeh, and someone's already smoked the 'myrrh'.
By shufflewick71 at 18:12 21 Dec 2011
Where's he going to?
He he no son it's called a T-O-G-A party. It's what the Romans wore
Mum the farmer's going to a GOAT party dressed as a Roman
By IN SEINE at 23:11 21 Dec 2011
"Another Save the Goat photographer! It's so annoying!"
"I hope he doesn't want to to 'Occupy the Goat'"
"Aw, don't let him get your Goat!"
By Inchcock at 04:44 22 Dec 2011
Is this one of those 'men who stare at goats'?
He does'nt look much like George Clooney
If it is him he's let himself go a bit
By Thing50 at 08:26 22 Dec 2011
"I've got toothache, had it since I was a kid!"
"I've had earache since I was a kid!"
"Huh, cheers!"
By Inchcock at 11:58 22 Dec 2011
"That human on the road down there, just drove off at the corner!"
"Yes, and our Auntie Hilda nearly got ran over!"
"Perhaps he didn't see the Ewe turn?"
By Inchcock at 12:03 22 Dec 2011
"Soon be time for a cuppa tea Mildred!"
"Alright Mark!"
"I'd like a goatee too please?"
By Inchcock at 12:05 22 Dec 2011
There's a Western on at the flics tonight!"
"Roy Rogers, or Hoppalong Cassidy dear?"
"Hope not, I like Billy the Kid best, ha ha!"
By Inchcock at 12:07 22 Dec 2011
"I Hope you're not too sad at your brother getting knocked over and killed son?
"He's probably up in Heaven right now with God. He'll be happy there"
"What would God want with a dead goat?"
By Inchcock at 12:12 22 Dec 2011
Windy today isn't it
It sure is
Don't call me 'it'!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:51 22 Dec 2011
Who do you think our kid resembles?
He looks a bit like you and a bit like me I think!
Yeah right..so which one has got a horn protruding from his/her backside?
By IN SEINE at 19:54 22 Dec 2011
Interesting...They have dug a big hole in the ground and filled it with logs..
Look...The have set fire to it...Very interesting....
Mom..Dad...Why is that man coming over with a great big knife?
By Micflex at 21:25 22 Dec 2011
So you know what to do if that Troll shows up?
Jeezeee..For the last time Junior...You threaten to GOBBLE HIM UP!
I threaten to, gobble him, right mom?
By Micflex at 22:13 22 Dec 2011
"Did you enjoy the film dear?"
"Not really, I prefer a good buck!"
"Oh Mother!"
By Inchcock at 04:57 23 Dec 2011
"Did you see that genetic engineers are implanting human DNA into goats?
"Our herdsman has been doing that for years dearie!"
"Is that so?"
By Inchcock at 05:02 23 Dec 2011
Why is Herdsman Singh standing in that field with a propeller on his hat?
Free energy dear.
Oh, it's one of those wind turbans!
By Tommy Twinkle at 13:10 23 Dec 2011
"I think the competition photo's are getting more classy nowadays!"
"Oh yes dear, from the lows of Mount Rushmore to the heights of Mountain Goats!"
"Mount Rushmore? I'm too young to remember that one!"
By Inchcock at 03:45 24 Dec 2011
Our herdsman is ill. He's crawling along the ground.
What's that he said? He's talking gibberish like he did this time last year.
He says he wants to give you a kiss for Chrishmush, mum!
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:16 24 Dec 2011
Every bloody advert on sky this time of year is for three piece suites!
That red one looks nice dear.
I bet it tastes nice as well Mum.
By Micflex at 21:32 24 Dec 2011
What is the matter with Junior dear?
He ordered a bathroom suite from Ebay.
And the stupid sod's sent me a waterproof Jellybean!
By Micflex at 21:37 24 Dec 2011
"I understand some Spoofer's are missing tags?"
"There are none needed in this Caption Competition dear!"
"Well we've got tags on out ears here dear!"
By Inchcock at 04:57 25 Dec 2011
"High on a hill was a lonely Goatherd..."
"Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo"
"Every bloody Christmas I have to suffer this!"
By Inchcock at 05:02 25 Dec 2011
Why's the earliest cave drawing of the moon dated only around 5,000 years ago?
I really don't know dear. Why don't you go and have a little sleep.
Ignore him. Dad's always like this at Christmas after he's had a few gins!
By Tommy Twinkle at 18:14 25 Dec 2011
"Who is your favourite famous cowboy star? Mine is Ronald Reagan"
"I like the Sundance Kid!"
"I liked Billy the Kid!"
By Inchcock at 06:38 26 Dec 2011
There's John our new herdsman. I wonder why he wears a skirt
He's from Scotland dear, it's called a kilt.
He must be the famous John O'Goats!
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:59 26 Dec 2011
We've all been down with that musical instrument flu over Christmas
Been blowin' our noses like trumpets, with headaches like banging drums..,
'n' now I've got that guitar in me 'ead haven't I mum!
By Tommy Twinkle at 18:50 26 Dec 2011
"Was that the farmer who mistook you for a sheep yesterday my dear?"
"Yes, bless him!"
"?"
By Inchcock at 04:10 27 Dec 2011
"I heard that David Cameron is a nice man really!"
"Well I certainly have not heard that!"
"A case of the Lonely Goat-heard? Ha ha!"
By Inchcock at 07:12 27 Dec 2011
It is so sad, this time last week that field was full of Turkeys.
Hush dear, Junior is listening.
Where did all the big dicky birds go mum?
By Micflex at 19:37 27 Dec 2011
"I hear we will be the Caption Competition for the new year then?"
"A big honour for our herd!"
"Even the little goat heard that o
By Inchcock at 08:27 28 Dec 2011
Have you ever been to John O'Goats?
Don't you mean John O'Groats?
You mean we've got 30 more days of this crap.
By whatinthe world at 12:37 28 Dec 2011
I don't know where people find the space in their stomachs to put it all
And they have the cheek to say that all WE do is eat!
Turkey, stuffing, Xmas pudding, cake, sweets, pickles, nuts, ..Pots and Kettles!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:36 28 Dec 2011
Our kid's got a part in this year's pantomime down in the village hall
This year's panto is called 'A Christmas Carol'
I'm playing 'The Goat of Christmas Past'!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:25 28 Dec 2011
Hi! Would you like to join us for a game of football in our field?
We have our defenders, midfielders, and strikers
But we need a goatkeeper!
By Tommy Twinkle at 18:03 28 Dec 2011
I'm thinking we should turn left up ahead.
Even though the GPS says we should turn right?
And this is why I'm addicted to alfalfa.
By Lyndon at 02:29 29 Dec 2011
You know, you're really getting on my goat! Stop it!
You're such a silly billy goat!! Grow up.
This is worse than goat's milk, get me out of here.
By whatinthe world at 04:49 29 Dec 2011
Did you say goat turd just then?
Goat herd!! GOAT HERD!!!!
I really like the 'Stones album "Goatshead Soup".
By whatinthe world at 04:54 29 Dec 2011
Cover your eyes Mother I do believe that sheep is in for you-know-what!
If that's the case then she's lucky girl, I've not had any for week's!!
That's odd, I thought it was only Turkey's that got stuffed?
By Herrdoktorfox at 10:06 29 Dec 2011
"How do they manage to walk on two feet?"
"And balance while taking the picture!"
"Thick parents or what?"
By Inchcock at 11:30 29 Dec 2011
Well I'm not going to do this every time Billy behind us needs to pee
Oh be patient. Billy has a bashful bladder dear. He'll tell us when he's done.
My pal Billy says he can't pee when we're facing him
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:09 29 Dec 2011
'To The Best of My Knowledge'
'Not That I'm Aware of'
Honestly, how many phrases can Piers Morgan use to avoid saying NO under oath?
By radiogagger at 20:07 29 Dec 2011
"The farmer wants us to stop charging visitors to the farm!"
"How's he going to do that then?"
"Take away our credit cards! He he he, oh I am a fool!"
By Inchcock at 07:42 30 Dec 2011
See what time it is now by the farmhouse clock?
It's still too early dear, there's hours to go before it reaches 2012
What's so special about twelve minutes past eight dad?
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:36 30 Dec 2011
I still say mine is the best
I do like the herdsman's though - it's very neat dear
I prefer his wife's - her beard is longer and more bushy
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:24 30 Dec 2011
The farmer's flowers looked nice, I'll admit that.
Until you ate them! Just tell the farmer our kid did it like you did last year
It's not fair, why am I always made the scapegoat?
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:31 30 Dec 2011
So you told your teacher at school you want to be like me when you grow up son.
Did you mean you'd like to have a nice beard like your dad's Billy?
No mum, I want to be a randy old goat like him!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:47 30 Dec 2011
So...I was on the Billy Goat Forum and he said "I'm going to eat you up!"
Then I went on the Billy Goat Forum and he said "I'm going to eat you up!"
Finally I went on and he said "I'm going to eat you up!" I hate Internet Trolls!
By I think I'm funny... at 22:39 30 Dec 2011
"Nobody"
"Messes"
"Wiv der Kray Goats"
By armfeetandtoe at 00:33 31 Dec 2011
"I spy something beggining with.... B"
"Beard...er... er...."
Billygoat you fools!"
By Inchcock at 08:29 31 Dec 2011
Now I am a Sir!
Now I am a Lady!
Now I haven't got a goat's chance.
By j.w. at 14:32 31 Dec 2011
I'm Billy
I'm Nanny
I'm Lucifer
By Alan Bama at 17:45 31 Dec 2011
Goat tell it on the mountain
Haven't you got homes to Goat to
Goat to get you into my life
By Alan Bama at 17:48 31 Dec 2011
My name's Larry and I love everything nnd everybody..
Ohhh take my hand, Come with me Baby to love land...
Capricorn
By Alan Bama at 17:51 31 Dec 2011
"What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a goat?"
"Erm.. er.. I don't know dear!"
"That's easy, you get a hare in your milk!"
By Inchcock at 05:37 01 Jan 2012
The New Year's Eve party streamers were fun last night
Yes, and wearing the party hats
Mum, can we take them off now and go back to being sheep again? Baaaaaah!!!!!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:34 01 Jan 2012
Rupert Murdoch has joined Twitter
That man really gets my goat
Isn't half the worlds newspapers and television channels enough for him?
By radiogagger at 21:17 01 Jan 2012
"The sheep don't talk us much recently dear"
"They say they can't have a good conversation with us...."
"I know this one, they say we keep butting in!"
By Inchcock at 06:21 02 Jan 2012
"Do like best butter Marge?"
"You mean like our Kid here?!
"Oh, a crap joke again!"
By Inchcock at 06:17 03 Jan 2012
Hey. Here comes Moses. I guess it's sacrifice time again.
Oh, dear! I hope he picks Agnus. She's such a fricken gossip.
Why do WE have to pay for their stupid sins? STOP SINNING, YOU MORONS!
By SamIAm at 01:27 04 Jan 2012
Signing: "As long as I need Ewe..."
Signing: "Ram on give me your heart... "
"Romantic fools!"
By Inchcock at 07:03 04 Jan 2012
The horses on the telly races jump over much higher fences than that one
Yes, but think of your tackle dear
And the fences they jump don't have barbed wire along the top of them dad!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:23 04 Jan 2012
"What do you call a goat that lip-syncs? "
"Billy Vanilli!"
"Oooh!"
By Inchcock at 09:04 05 Jan 2012
What a total waste of money. We could soon munch that away for our farmer.
The man he's hired to do it isn't even eating those bits he's cutting off.
It looks like a big rabbit to me. I think they call it topiary.
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:07 05 Jan 2012
Here she comes again with that rotten clothes line and wet washing
I wish the farmer's wife would visit the optician in the village
She ties the clothes line between your and dad's horns doesn't she mum!
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:24 05 Jan 2012
Who do they think they're gawping at!
Anyone'd think they've never seen a goat before
They're probably city people who don't watch Emmerdale mum
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:34 05 Jan 2012
"Why has that sheep been tied up in the new pen in the corner of the field?"
"And covered over with tarpaulin?"
"That's the farmer's new recreation gym!"
By Inchcock at 07:03 06 Jan 2012
No mate, there's no goat here named Fahso or Lahte. The wife here is Doe
My husband is Ray
And I'm just 'Me' - as far as I know!
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:41 06 Jan 2012
"I should go first at mealtimes in future!"
"I'll go second dearest!"
After Ewe two then?"
By Inchcock at 09:44 07 Jan 2012
We'll have to cut down dear. You'll have to buy things from the charity shops.
I have been - but the things in the charity shops are too dear, dear.
Oh dear! You think YOU'VE got problems!
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:38 07 Jan 2012
Moo!
Woof!
Mum, you know when you said it'd be safe to eat them GM oats...
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:54 07 Jan 2012
Ever had the feeling someone's looking at you?
Yes, I've been aware of it since the Guy Fawkes night fireworks on 5th November.
No, it started the day before that mum!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:30 07 Jan 2012
Hey! That's a little camera!
Maybe it's a Spoof!
Doh! It's a smartphone - Facebook here we go!
By tubsturtle at 21:56 07 Jan 2012
We'll charge at the count of three. One,...er...one,...er
Seems Cameron's no better than Blair
Education; Education; Education!
By Tommy Twinkle at 01:37 08 Jan 2012
"Our Matilda ate a whole ball of wool you know?"
"Yes, her kids were born wearing sweaters!"
"That's some yarn!...."
By Inchcock at 07:12 08 Jan 2012
All I said to her is that she's looking more like her mother every day
Well she's upset. Don't you want to have a pretty face like mine dear?
(Folks, should I tell her dad said to uncle earlier mum's got a big fat bum!)
By Tommy Twinkle at 10:30 08 Jan 2012
Hi there, today some poetry, while there's a sky above,
The weather we will get will be
The weather we will have!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:22 08 Jan 2012
Good 'ere innit!
It's alright for you two - I've got to get the dinner on
Do chips mum, oh please, please do chips!
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:06 08 Jan 2012
Out with it then, why the long faces?
You fool, what do you expect goats to have?
Perhaps they want us to smile dad. Hey, I'm wagging me tail, what more can I do?
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:14 08 Jan 2012
On your marks...
Get set...
Run,run like your life depends on it,because it DOES!
By The Rupture at 22:09 08 Jan 2012
"Why did the farmer put the 'Fecund Ohio smuts' sign on our hilltop field gate?"
"Well fecund means 'Capable of producing offspring!'
"Nae, 'Fecund Ohio smuts' is an anagram of The Sound of Music!"
By Inchcock at 04:21 09 Jan 2012
We are just sheep with horns
You may be but I prefer being a goat
I have French horns
By j.w. at 17:13 10 Jan 2012
I hope she remembers to milk me
The Milkmaid comes today
I don't like milk - I tried his once - yugggk!
By Lynton at 00:46 11 Jan 2012
When I was Regimental Mascot back in '89........
Oh no do, you have to go on so?
Oh no, not the Seargent Major's Baton - I've heard that one a hundred times
By Lynton at 00:59 11 Jan 2012
"The other goats think my horns are the best in the herd"!"
"Goats on the Matterhorn have the best ones!"
"More people like Lena Horne though!"
By Inchcock at 05:26 11 Jan 2012
"Mother, have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?"
"Only when I tried to spell it!"
"Bloomin' 'eck, the old un's are coming now!"
By Inchcock at 07:39 12 Jan 2012
"Why did you get us up late this morning Gertrude?"
"The alarm clock fell into the sheep dip!"
"Ah I see, it lost all of its ticks?"
By Inchcock at 07:16 13 Jan 2012
"The farmer is thinking of mating sheep and goats together, to improve profits!"
"Improve profits? How's that then?"
"He'll get an animal that eats tin cans and gives him steel wool!"
By Inchcock at 06:34 14 Jan 2012
"We used to used as currency in England years ago you know!"
"No dear, that would be GROATS your thnling about!"
"Bless um!"
By Inchcock at 07:16 15 Jan 2012
Is that sheepdog I spy behind you about to do you doggy style ?
No it bloody well isn't behind me it's behind the mysterious fourth goat...
There are seven of us in this photo but only three of us have speaking parts!!!
By Chris James at 08:42 15 Jan 2012
See, I told you the gate's been left open. Let's walk down to the village.
I wouldn't mind getting a few carrots
Are you sure these are credit cards on our ears dad?
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:48 15 Jan 2012
"Why did the goat cross the road?"
"'Because it was the chickens day off ha ha ha!"
"Oh dearie me..."
By Inchcock at 06:10 16 Jan 2012
Here comes that soppy preacher again with his little book of nonsense.
I agree with you dear. What sort of God would have given us long necks!
Dad says a long neck wastes time getting food from his mouth to his stomach!
By Tommy Twinkle at 15:15 16 Jan 2012
"What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?"
"I don't know dear!"
"I do, you get a wooly jumper!"
By Inchcock at 07:25 17 Jan 2012
We saw you on TV last night Junior...
... with Dara O'Brian, Rory Whatsisname and Griff Rhys-Jones
Oh that.....3 men in a goat!!!!
By IN SEINE at 20:58 17 Jan 2012
"Who's been touching your tits?"
"The farmer you dozy twat"
"Why does the farmer call me his kid?"
By armfeetandtoe at 23:18 17 Jan 2012
"For fucks sake Mildred, how long did you set the auto photo switch for?"
"I dont know"
"I need the toilet Mum"
By armfeetandtoe at 23:32 17 Jan 2012
"We are"
"Der"
"Management"
By armfeetandtoe at 23:38 17 Jan 2012
I wonder why our herdsman has to go rushing off to Prince Charles every night?
He's a slave driver. By the time our herdsman comes home he can barely stand
I've heard there's a pub in the village called The Prince of Wales
By Tommy Twinkle at 02:30 18 Jan 2012
i love you
i love you
i love you too
By chandan pramanik at 07:43 18 Jan 2012
"Where have all the male sheep gone from the field next door?"
"Perhaps they've gone in holiday dear?"
"Yes, gone abroad to the Ewephrates!"
By Inchcock at 09:25 18 Jan 2012
He didn't get it from my side of the family, that's for sure
Well he's inherited the explorer's gene from somewhere.
All I said is that some day I'm gonna find out what's over that hill
By Tommy Twinkle at 12:51 18 Jan 2012
What shall we call him?
Billy?
Billy the Kid. LOL - never heard that one before.
By Terry Firmer at 16:49 18 Jan 2012
"If a Sheep is a Ram..."
"And a Mule is an Ass..."
"How come a Ram in the Ass is a Goose?!
By Inchcock at 06:14 19 Jan 2012
"For fuck's sake Mirriam, do you have to be so fukin nosy"?
"She was looking at me!"
"Nice tits
By armfeetandtoe at 20:24 19 Jan 2012
"Look!"
"Where!"
"Eh?"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:26 19 Jan 2012
"I here that foot and mouth disease is less prevalent nowadays!
"I'm more worried about the family catching 'Toxic Flock Syndrome!"
"?"
By Inchcock at 09:41 20 Jan 2012
"I here we have a new farmer coming to take over"
"Yes, they say he's from Scotland"
"From John oGroats actually!"
By Inchcock at 06:23 21 Jan 2012
What's that old song called? It's about a patient goat on it's travels.
Trains, Goats, and Planes?
No, I know the one. It goes 'I'd like to get you, on a slow goat to China'.
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:09 21 Jan 2012
Here he comes. If he tries to do it again I'm gonna headbutt him
It is annoying when his coat drops down over my eyes
Our herdsman calls mum's horns his goathangers!
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:33 21 Jan 2012
It just means a female goat, son. Like your mum.
That's right, I'm the nanny goat.
Mum, so how old do I need to be before I can put a bet on with you?
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:46 21 Jan 2012
I wonder if the sea's just over that hill
Prob'ly miles away dear. I haven't noticed any seagulls flying about
I saw our herdsman put down sand over where he'd been sick on New Year's Eve!
By Tommy Twinkle at 22:03 21 Jan 2012
So, That's a mirror is it? Why do we look like goats?
OMG!
Meheheheh
By Ellis Ian Fields at 00:56 22 Jan 2012
"I wonder why Mark picked our family for this competition photo?"
"I have no idea my love!"
"Well he's goat to pick something!"
By Inchcock at 04:39 22 Jan 2012
"Stand still Mirriam, dont fukin move"
"For gods sake! Why?"
"Dad just heard a zipper being opened"
By armfeetandtoe at 15:46 22 Jan 2012
"That bloke who spoke to you Maisy, was conducting a survey then?"
"Yes, he wanted to know what I thought about sex on the TV?
"Very uncomfortable I'd have thought!"
By Inchcock at 04:27 23 Jan 2012
"Its a pain being a goat"
"Why"
"Cos everyone thinks we look like the devil"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:16 23 Jan 2012
"What was it your Mum used to say to you Griselda?"
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you..."
I know... 'then you'll see what it's like', same old tales, their bored stiff!
By Inchcock at 06:22 24 Jan 2012
At night an old goat down in Brighton, to kids in his field liked to frighten
He'd sneak up in the dark, then say 'boo' for a lark
So the herdsman now leaves the moonlight on!
By Tommy Twinkle at 14:54 24 Jan 2012
So you think we should laugh at your jokes? You try living your life as a goat
Cold winters aren't fun, nor the hot summer sun
And in rain we stand here and get soaked!
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:03 24 Jan 2012
Our kid's got a boil on his bum, he's just pointed it out to his mum
Oooh, it does look so sore, have you got any more?
Not as far as I know, just the one!
By Tommy Twinkle at 20:22 24 Jan 2012
What's that guy pointing at us, Ethel?
Looks like some kind of weapon. Maybe we should run.
No way, Ma. That's a camera. We're gonna be on Facebook.
By Jack Getze at 00:44 25 Jan 2012
"If a sheep farmer is called a Shepherd,,,,,"
"Why isn't a goat farmer called a Goatherd?"
"Their both bored stiff you know!"
By Inchcock at 05:36 25 Jan 2012
"If the farmer had 15 cows and 5 goats, what would he get?"
"Plenty of milk! Ha ha ha!"
"Oh dear, and I had to get these two as parents didn't I?"
By Inchcock at 05:28 26 Jan 2012
I hope your mum and me don't get told off for going for our little walk today
Has anyone said anything to you while me and your dad were gone our kid?
Nah, but I think dad was standing a bit more to the right before
By Tommy Twinkle at 16:56 26 Jan 2012
"Not often us goats get in the pictures is it?"
"(Sigh) No dear..."
"What about the herd in the Sound of Music then?"
By Inchcock at 06:08 27 Jan 2012
"Why has that bloke in the skirt got a knife?"
"I thought I heard someone say Hal"
"No,, he said, Hallal be back"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:39 27 Jan 2012
"He's been singing since he was a kid"
"Voice like an angel"
"I hope Simon puts me through"
By armfeetandtoe at 20:43 27 Jan 2012
"I'm in charge of the herd!"
"So I heard!"
"I should be seen and not heard!"
By Inchcock at 05:06 28 Jan 2012
It's no different to here I tell yer.
It is. The grass is definitely more greener in the field over there.
I think I might need glasses mum. What field?
By Tommy Twinkle at 21:50 28 Jan 2012
Its time for battle, now defend this guild with pride and honor little cleric
just remember, NG is healed first and drop your RR's at the start of the battle
I will do my best Robbie and Carley, its time to play
By scott green at 03:24 29 Jan 2012
"At least there are no snow leopards around here to attack us!"
"No dear, and no Cheetahs to chase after us either!"
"No, but there's the farmer's son!"
By Inchcock at 05:03 29 Jan 2012
"We ought to have played in the orchestra in the Sound of Music"
"Whatever instrument could we have played?"
"The Horn perhaps?"
By Inchcock at 05:00 30 Jan 2012
OMFG!!! are we still here?
Yes dear, we are.
It's beginning to get on my goat too
By Chris James at 08:16 30 Jan 2012
"Our Delilah butted the farmer's daughter yesterday!"
"Oh, on the Horns of Delilah was she? ha ha!"
"Oh Mum! Horns of a Dilemma that should be!"
By Inchcock at 04:58 31 Jan 2012
"I work 24 hours a day protecting you and the herd from humans!"
"And I check the gates are locked, feed the kid, and give birth to them!"
"I hope they don't escape!"
By Inchcock at 12:14 01 Feb 2012
"Our Garry wants to change his name?"
"Oh, ehy is that Gary my dear?"
"Dad said 'He's going to spank me as sure as my name is Gary!"
By Inchcock at 01:37 02 Feb 2012
Look Dear, is that Newt Gingnotsorich?
I believe it is Billy.
He's not going to send you home, is he Nan?
By Exislanda at 22:06 02 Feb 2012
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismilla
Let him go!
By Ellis Ian Fields at 23:19 02 Feb 2012
Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?
Bismilah!
No! We will not let him go.
By Ellis Ian Fields at 23:21 02 Feb 2012
And when she walked me home
Day-do-ron-ron
Day-do-ron-ron
By Ellis Ian Fields at 23:22 02 Feb 2012
"And it's good morning to you Mummy goat!"
"And it's good morning to you morning Daddy goat!"
"They farmer should never have put a TV in the barn!"
By Inchcock at 05:24 03 Feb 2012
"Are we being paid for posing in this competition?"
"We might get a penny or a 'Mark', ha ha!"
"Or a Groat?!
By Inchcock at 04:43 04 Feb 2012

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