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Pope, Bush & Bush

 
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By author at 00:00 1 Jan 2000 | 0 people like

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Pope Bush
Holy cow!
Yup, you can see right in to the ladies' bathroom round here Joe.
By Mark at 10:48 18 Sep 2010
I'm glad this bush is here to hide my papal protrusion.
Hey Joe, check out her gazungas!
By Mark at 10:50 18 Sep 2010
Where did this moron come from? What happened to security?!
Let's hide Joe.
By Mark at 10:51 18 Sep 2010
Why, you pesky rabbit! I'm gonna blast you good!
Hey Joe, where you goin' with that gun in your hand?
By Mark at 10:59 18 Sep 2010
What are you doing in Britain?
I thought I'd just pope over!
By Bureau at 12:08 18 Sep 2010
She's a beauty. Only 60 miles on her.
A bargain. I'll buy it if you're throw in a pope outfit.
By Bureau at 12:10 18 Sep 2010
Who are these strange people?
Writers from TheSpoof.
By Bureau at 12:10 18 Sep 2010
Always bless your enemies as they'll suffer more.
Bless every political cartoonist who gave me the big ears.
By Bureau at 12:12 18 Sep 2010
How's retirement?
Good. I've cleaned fifty miles of brush.
By Bureau at 12:13 18 Sep 2010
What am I going to do with these priests?
Put salt peter in their porrridge.
By Bureau at 12:14 18 Sep 2010
St. Peter in their porridge?
Salt peter. Like the army does young recruits.
By Bureau at 12:15 18 Sep 2010
I can actually levitate!
Me too. Once lifted one foot from the chair after some Texas Chile!
By Bureau at 12:16 18 Sep 2010
What about that Obama?
I've been to see him 3 times & he's been on vacation.
By Bureau at 12:18 18 Sep 2010
YOU vacationed some too.
Working Vacation! Lots of difference.
By Bureau at 12:18 18 Sep 2010
Didn't you take a regular vacation?
Certainly. I handed it over to Cheney and slept in a back room.
By Bureau at 12:20 18 Sep 2010
Is that the couple who crash all the parties?
I think so. Most of mine were trashed..by the press.
By Bureau at 12:22 18 Sep 2010
Who's the litle guy in the long coat?
I think they call him Skoob. You know, like Skooby Doo
By Bureau at 12:23 18 Sep 2010
Not as good as SpongeBob!
Who is?
By Bureau at 12:24 18 Sep 2010
Does Laura always get that animated after half a beer?
Yeah, Popie, She's a real Texas sidewinder.
By Charpa93 at 12:30 18 Sep 2010
Do you always have this many protesters in front of the White House?
Nah, Popie. Sometimes there's more.
By Charpa93 at 12:37 18 Sep 2010
What was it you wanted to show me Georgie?
See over there. I think that's where they're hiding them WMD's.
By Charpa93 at 12:40 18 Sep 2010
How long are we going to have to hide out over here?
Just till Dick simmers down. He hates when I act all presidential-like.
By Charpa93 at 12:41 18 Sep 2010
Is that a shotgun Mr. Cheney is carrying around?
Yeah, Popie. Dick likes to pretend he's huntin' elk on the White House lawn.
By Charpa93 at 12:44 18 Sep 2010
Tell me again who we're hiding from Georgie?
Pesky reporters, Popie. They're always after me to say something presidential.
By Charpa93 at 12:47 18 Sep 2010
You're right Georgie. Turning the sprinklers on Dick is amusing.
Yeah, but man am I gonna catch it if he finds out it was me. Hide, hide.
By Charpa93 at 12:49 18 Sep 2010
I see you have quite an aphid problem on your rose bushes.
Aphids, hell, you should see the bed bug problem we have in the Lincoln bedroom.
By Charpa93 at 12:50 18 Sep 2010
I have a small boy beneath my cassock.
That's why we're hiding, Ratslinger, that's why we're hiding.
By carina-eta at 15:58 18 Sep 2010
Incredible! I thought he was never going to pull out!
Wow! That was better than when I caught a 7.5 pound bass in my lake.
By The San Francisco Onion at 16:25 18 Sep 2010
Bonus Senior! Quis est is iens loquor tunc?
Eekspay ooyay Igpay Atinlay?
By The San Francisco Onion at 16:33 18 Sep 2010
Know any good Jean Anouilh quotes?
"Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know he is."
By The San Francisco Onion at 16:38 18 Sep 2010
So, Mr Bush, how can i make myself more popular?
Try getting fired and replaced by a black man!
By carina-eta at 16:41 18 Sep 2010
Get a load of that Cardinals Backside
Isn't being a Peeping Pope a Cardinal Sin?
By Kazytc at 20:03 18 Sep 2010
I was just going to ask you if we could borrow money!
Can the USA borrow $3 trillion from the Vatican?
By Philbert of Macadamia at 21:44 18 Sep 2010
Damn! The only person on the planet more right wing than me!
What do you think, Popey? Shoot them or gas them? Pesky paparazzi.
By IainB at 22:56 18 Sep 2010
The man truly IS an idiot
Hey! Is it Halloween? Are you Casper the Friendly Ghost?
By IainB at 22:57 18 Sep 2010
It's a miracle! He can walk and talk at the same time.
Did you steal that bathrobe from the hotel?
By IainB at 22:58 18 Sep 2010
Shalom!
If we were at the ranch, I would be clearing that Bush!
By Philbert of Macadamia at 02:17 19 Sep 2010
Gosh I hope no one sees me with this loser.
Hell, I mean heck, I need all the help I can get.
By Abel Rodriguez at 02:57 19 Sep 2010
Gosh I miss Bill Clinton.
Standing next to you I ain't half bad lookin'.
By Abel Rodriguez at 02:59 19 Sep 2010
I wish this fruit salad wouldn't stand so close to me.
Wow! Look at the legs on that Palin bitch!
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:01 19 Sep 2010
What is Condoleezza Rice still doing here?
I'm gonna scare the daylights out of the Obama kids.
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:02 19 Sep 2010
The bastard's wife still looks nice.
Hey, pops, whatcha think of my little Laura?
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:04 19 Sep 2010
Why is Glenn Beck here?
I have never liked that crybaby Glenn Beck.
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:05 19 Sep 2010
Who the hell invited Paris Hilton?
That is sure one dumb blonde bitch huh pops?
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:06 19 Sep 2010
I wish this jerk next to me would go get us a beer.
Hey pops are you a drinking man?
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:07 19 Sep 2010
Wow, that ain't a bad looking nun over there next to Michelle.
No disrespect pops, but that nun sure does look fine!
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:09 19 Sep 2010
Gosh that swimming pool looks really good.
Pops whatcha say we go get our swim trunks and jump in.
By Abel Rodriguez at 03:10 19 Sep 2010
Now, why did I get stuck with a thought cloud when he gets a talk bubble?
Hmm ... I hadn't given that much thought.
By The San Francisco Onion at 07:54 19 Sep 2010
....He smells like hammers....
Can you smell hammers,Mr Pope?
By Nick Ers at 13:37 19 Sep 2010
Is it true that you always pick the phone up upside down?
Yeah, that's why you never heard from me the other night
By Kazytc at 01:11 20 Sep 2010
Golly gee. That Michelle looks great in a bikini swimsuit.
Wowie! Michelle's got a better looking body than Condi.
By Abel Rodriguez at 02:32 20 Sep 2010
Hey is that Joe Biden or Bob Uecker?
That Biden fella thinks he can out drink me. Huh!
By Abel Rodriguez at 02:33 20 Sep 2010
It looks like Dubya and I go to the same hair stylist.
That Obama gal sho does have some long legs huh pops?
By Abel Rodriguez at 02:49 20 Sep 2010
Gott in Himmel! I thought the Islamists took out this joker!
Hey Popey, since you're dressed for it, let's go spook some darkies!
By Mark at 07:39 20 Sep 2010
I'd have had you back in the day...
I hope you don't mind if we invade Vatican City for Oil Mr. Pope sir?
By masterchev at 12:07 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas.
Look's more like you're shopping than advising wayward kids.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:50 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
I'm partial to the toy room, but if you want to see the boy room...
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:51 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
This school averages 1 priest to every 1 student.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:52 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
...and you say that you want to move the Vatican here?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:52 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
I'm sure you'll be able to get a date for the prom from this group of boys
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:53 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
I told you everythings bigger here. Look at those butts!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:54 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
Do you really need 1000 new altar boys at the Vatican?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:54 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
They don't call this the panhandle for nothing!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:55 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
We also got some Meskin kids if you like the little brown ones.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:56 20 Sep 2010
Thanks for bringing me to Cal Farley's Boys Ranch in Texas
You really want 'em to dress up in them Swiss guard suits?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:57 20 Sep 2010
Do you think this Bush will hide my erection?
I hope you're talking about the shrub and not me!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:01 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
So, what kind of gas mileage do you get in the Popemobile?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:03 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How long does it take the Popemobile to get up to 60?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:03 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Ratzinberger... didn't you use to play a mailman in Cheers?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:03 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Them folks mowing the yard... we call them yard mowers.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:04 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I had an eggs dish for breakfast that they named after you.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:04 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
What's better under that robe? Boxers, briefs, or commando?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:06 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How come your Swiss Guard dresses like folks at Disneyland?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:07 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Did you know that there used to be talking Meerkats standing here?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:07 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do ya'll ever tailgate at that giant St. Peter's square?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:08 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I know why you ain't John Paul 3, cuz he ain't your daddy!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:09 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I was thinking of opening a lemonade stand by the Basilica.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:10 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
If you were a little balder, you'd look like Cheney in a white dress.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:13 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Anybody ever call you a cross dresser for wearing a dress?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:14 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Laura says you ain't supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:14 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
You know Mr. T? He wears lots of gold necklaces too.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:14 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do you ever pee in the holy water just for fun?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:15 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I ain't Catlick, but I do enjoy your naked nun pics on the internet.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:15 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
People always say "Is the Pope Catlick?" Well, are you?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:20 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do ya'll have air conditioner vents in them confessionals?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:20 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do ya'll really believe in praying to a bunch of beads?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:21 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How come I never see pix of the New Orleans Saints in your churches?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:21 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I see lots of Catlicks. Does that mean your out in mass?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:22 20 Sep 2010
Sure that's wise? I mean with Mr. Cheney's heart condition and all?
Ok, Popie, now when I give the signal, we jump out and yell Surprise!
By Charpa93 at 15:30 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I think Laura would like a dress like that. Can I get it at Kmart?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:34 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How come you can't get married but little boys are okay to pork?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:35 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I notice that you dress like the bishops on a chess board.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:35 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Has anyone ever poured red kool-aid powder in the holy hater for fun
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:36 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do all your Swiss Guards carry Swiss Army Knifes?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:36 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How come they call you catlicks? I think dogs are better than cats.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:37 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Watch how Cheney will jump on that flaming bag of dog poo!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:38 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Is it still okay to call it nigger knocking if the folks is black?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:39 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Bet you don't like that Obama and I only have daughters.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:39 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Why don't some Arabs own the Shroud of Turban?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:40 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Bet all your priests volunteer to work at Boy's Town.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:41 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Is that what you're wearing for Halloween? I'm gonna be a ghost
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:57 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
I'll bet it's really hard to get in a fishing boat in that dress.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:12 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do you ever have fun playing with your dog's dingleberries?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:30 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do you get Cartoon network at the Vatican?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:31 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How often do folks throw water balloons at the Pope Mobile?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:32 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Since you got so many candles burning, do you need electricity?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:32 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do saints have to blow out all the candles on their birthdays?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:33 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
When are you fellers making Michael Jackson a saint?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:33 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Is it true that Michael Jackson is new patron saint of pedophiles?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:34 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
If I give you a picture of Jesus, can you get his autograph?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:34 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How many people look at pictures of the Virgin and say "I'd do her"?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:35 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
How come you haven't had an inquisition for a while?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:35 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Do you think you can declare the Afghan war a Crusade?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:36 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
Did Jesus get splinters when he was up on that cross?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:36 20 Sep 2010
I wonder why people think this man is so dumb?
In the shower, do you use the Pope's soap on a rope?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 18:37 20 Sep 2010
Same thing goes for civil lawyers.
I'm telling ya Popie, nothing makes a G-man madder than hiding from him.
By Charpa93 at 14:26 21 Sep 2010
Yeah, that's what they said when your daddy was in office too.
Don't worry, Popie, once we get past this Bush we're home free.
By Charpa93 at 14:28 21 Sep 2010
Don't worry, Georgie Boy. You're not my type.
Don't let 'm catch us back here together Popie. You know how they talk. heh heh
By Charpa93 at 14:29 21 Sep 2010
Your room or mine?
Thought we were 'going bush'?
By Kazytc at 23:41 21 Sep 2010
So Mr Bush how did you know I was really an alien?
Because I
By Kazytc at 23:45 21 Sep 2010
So Mr Bush how did you know I was really an alien?
Because someone in this place said I came from the same planet as you!
By Kazytc at 23:46 21 Sep 2010
So what will you do once you retire?
Join the Vatican if you can put a good word in for me ?
By Kazytc at 23:48 21 Sep 2010
Are you a believer Mr Bush?
Well can you get him on your direct line for me to vet him I might!
By Kazytc at 23:52 21 Sep 2010
No shit!! I like fucking boys with oil and you like killing boys for oil.
Aren't you glad we don't need the Popular vote to get elected?
By OIF2Sniper at 04:32 22 Sep 2010
Do you sell baby oil in Texas?
Yes I use it all the time would you like some?
By Kazytc at 15:21 23 Sep 2010
You know, You were always my favorite, son.
Thanks, dad.
By Adam Click at 21:32 23 Sep 2010
I think we're getting so close that-
We finish each other's sentences? I was thinking that too...
By Lara Bruton at 12:19 24 Sep 2010
Smart lady!
I asked Dick to run for president. Lynne said no, not with his heart condition.
By Philbert of Macadamia at 16:04 24 Sep 2010
Who says I am dead Bush?
When I die can I have a white outfit like yours?
By Kazytc at 00:54 25 Sep 2010
My boyfriend does it! And hey... call me Big Ben!
Who does your hair Pope Benedictine?
By Kazytc at 02:47 25 Sep 2010
No comment!
How come they call you the Pope and me the dope?
By Kazytc at 13:09 25 Sep 2010
Yes. In fact, it's the most intelligent Bush i have seen today
Is it true that God gave living organisms, like this shrub, the power to think?
By alexc at 13:10 25 Sep 2010
Well, in our schools the cardinals believe in giving a full, in depth, education
So tell me Mr Pope; what is this thing with your priests and little boys
By Xavier at 13:24 25 Sep 2010
How dare you! Our bigotry is sanctioned by the state.
So you guys are basically like the KKK but without the cool hats?
By alexc at 14:39 25 Sep 2010
Yeah laugh it up, wiseguy. But i was hittin' yo mamma's Bush last night
Pope sounds like poop! Ha ha! Where is your poopmobile? Got any poopal edicts?
By alexc at 15:05 25 Sep 2010
I still prefer those Girls Gone Wild DVDs i watched earlier
Isn't it incredible to just behold the bounty of nature the Lord created?
By alexc at 15:10 25 Sep 2010
Its the only Bush i can see worth saving around here
This is some of that green environment stuff that the commies want us to save
By alexc at 17:47 25 Sep 2010
I researched for this by reading Dian Fossey's "living with mountain gorillas"
I researched for your visit by watching the Da Vinci Code
By alexc at 17:58 25 Sep 2010
I assure you that the Vatican has no Weapons of Mass Destruction
Drill!Baby Drill,just let me drill oil in St.Peters Basilica and we won't invade
By Gabhan O'Buachalla at 22:25 25 Sep 2010
Mr Bush, will you please stop playing with my pubic hair!
Heh Heh, Bush on bush behind bush!
By Trip Nasti at 14:02 26 Sep 2010
So what's your confession my Son?
I'm an alien
By Kazytc at 18:44 26 Sep 2010
Do you know who I am?
Not Really
By Kazytc at 22:19 27 Sep 2010
We don't wear Halo's its a myth Mr Bush
Why aren't you wearing your Halo?
By Kazytc at 22:22 27 Sep 2010
I'm older than him, yet he's senile!
My tie is catholic, but my shoes are protestant
By IainB at 06:45 28 Sep 2010
Jesus Christ, what the god damn hell is this batty boy talking about?
Hay ya'll, me and popey gonna go eat us up some greasy ass chicken, hooooweeeh!
By Byng at 09:23 30 Sep 2010
Yes, I read about it on Spoof
Hey you heard I'm runnin' for that there London Mayor thingy
By Xavier at 21:00 30 Sep 2010
I have bishops to do it for me or I just pray to God for an orgasm
So tell me, this celebacy thing; you gotta give it a tweek or a pull sumtime?
By Xavier at 21:03 30 Sep 2010
Have you got any kids?
Two , Have you?
By Gabhan O'Buachalla at 00:14 01 Oct 2010
Great, that leaves both of us to work with little kids.
I'm here Popey cause I need to resit my SATS test. I've never passed them see.
By masterchev at 15:51 01 Oct 2010
I think I'd rather have an idiot than a Marxist as President .
Dan Quayle taught me how to spell when Daddy was in office.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:50 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met.
I always tell them where to hide the Easter eggs so I can find the most.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:52 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
I call my plane Air Force Two after I take a dump in it's bathroom.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:53 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
So, does The Flying Nun still work for you guys?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:53 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Do you ever have those nuns from Sister Act sing for you?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:54 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
I think that my family must have invented bushes like that one.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:55 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Does Father Murphy still have his tv show?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:56 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
My wife says I ain't supposed to ask if you're Catholic.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:57 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Did you like getting bent over when you were an altar boy?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:57 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
How come some folks call you Catlicks beadshakers?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:58 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
How come you guys always pray to Rosary O'Donnell?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:58 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Are you really changing the Virgin Mary's name to Bloody Mary?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:59 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
The secret service agents don't like it when I play hide and seek.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 07:59 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
I bet if you spilled flour on yourself, no one could really tell.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:00 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
I bet you could pass for a Grand Wizard in the KKK with that robe.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:00 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
When you guys put on your robes, do you ever burn any crosses?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:01 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Did you name yourself after Benedict Arnold or the eggs?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:01 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Did you guys invent the Hail Mary pass in football?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:02 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
My wife said that I can't ask you to tell me any priest and rabbi jokes.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:03 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
My minister says the worst thing about you Catlick Popes is no pussy.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:04 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Why ain't you wearing one of them funny collars?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:05 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Does that sprinkler system mean our grass is baptized Catlick?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 08:05 02 Oct 2010
My Popemobile can outrun his Segway easily.
So what big religeous thoughts are you thinking now?
By Bureau at 12:43 02 Oct 2010
Wish he's get off my foot.
And over here you can see that we have a cameraman.
By Bureau at 12:44 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
So how come you can have Vatican City in the middle of another city?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:04 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Did Jack and the Beanstalk really plant some Rosary beans?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:06 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Has anyone ever told you that you look like the Wizard of Oz?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:06 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Do you wear a bra and panties under that dress like most women?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:07 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
I dressed my secret service guys up like your Swiss guard!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:07 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
How come you get a Swiss Guard if you are German and live in Italy?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:08 02 Oct 2010
This has to be the biggest idiot I've ever met!
Are your Swiss guard the folks that make the Swiss cheese?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:08 02 Oct 2010
Maybe it will be thrown at you & we will see it.
Did you know that they have found the world's oldest leather shoe?
By Bureau at 14:11 02 Oct 2010
Somebody kill me, please.
I wonder if they'll find the sock that matches it?
By Bureau at 14:12 02 Oct 2010
Oh pleaassse! Somebody shoot me dead.
Is there a Popecycle to go with the popemobile?
By Bureau at 14:13 02 Oct 2010
A lightning bolt! Hit me! It would be a mercy.
I bet that loose outfit keep your balls free.
By Bureau at 14:15 02 Oct 2010
Even Mother Teresa couldn't take this!
Ever play 'Doctor' as a kid?
By Bureau at 14:19 02 Oct 2010
That was probably 'Shrew', you think? No you don't.
They have found the oldest living shoe according to the news.
By Bureau at 16:51 02 Oct 2010
Every Sunday, right after Mass. I can see which Bush is smarter. Hoy Boy!
Ever watch those old Road Pictures with Bob Hope & Dorothy Lamour?
By Bureau at 16:53 02 Oct 2010
He's got the hots for a dead woman. What next?
That Dorothy Lamour was built wasn't she?
By Bureau at 16:54 02 Oct 2010
So, "Fish Head" is a compliment?
You don't know what it's like to be called "Pretzel Boy!"
By Bureau at 20:09 02 Oct 2010
I could easily confuse the two of you.
This is my night pee bush.
By Bureau at 22:52 02 Oct 2010
Nope!
Any hope for me in...you know?
By Bureau at 22:53 02 Oct 2010
Most don't believe in an after snuggle.
Some men don't believe in an afterlife.
By Bureau at 22:54 02 Oct 2010
I'll take a redneck, evangelical Protestant over a closet Muslim any day...
I only bow down to life, God, and you your holiness...never the King of Arabia.
By El Capitaz at 01:49 03 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
I don't want spit on my ring, but you could kiss my belt buckle.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:58 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Do you still eat fish sticks on Fridays?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:59 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Maybe you could start another inquisition just for fun.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 13:59 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Could you make my dog Barney a saint?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:01 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Exactly which saint is St. Louis named after?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:01 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Don't them white robes show the poop stains in your shorts?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:01 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Instead of lighting candles, do you ever light farts?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:02 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
How about changing it to "Give us this day our daily pie"?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:03 04 Oct 2010
This man has got to be the stupidest person on the planet!
Bet you guys cornered the candle and fish markets!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:03 04 Oct 2010
Why not just give me your usual greeting, Mr. President? Forget the the titles.
OK! Ummm...How's it hanging, Popester?
By Bureau at 22:17 04 Oct 2010
Solid air...for 50 stories down.
"and so I went to this door by mistake and guess what I walked into?
By Bureau at 22:19 04 Oct 2010
There must be a bubble in the brain.
Why didn't you bring the litle lady?
By Bureau at 13:04 07 Oct 2010
Now I know why they all call you names.
Does she have a title also...like Popette?
By Bureau at 13:05 07 Oct 2010
This man is leader of the free world?
(This man is leader of the world's largest church?)
By Bureau at 18:41 07 Oct 2010
I'm sure the cattle and chickens love it.
I got my own bitchin' Popemobile at the ranch!
By Bureau at 18:43 07 Oct 2010
No. But in your case, it makes to have made the pot paranoid.
Get tired of people looking at you? A watched pope never boils! he he.
By Bureau at 18:50 07 Oct 2010
Bloody hope so, never seen a nun doing press-ups on a cucumber patch before
Say, Popey, do you reckon she'll reach a hundred?
By Xavier at 22:43 07 Oct 2010
He'd probably pass out if I told him he and the first president share a name.
I spent 8 years hiding behind this bush. Bush. That's my name. I'll be darned.
By twylo2000 at 11:30 08 Oct 2010
Get an outfit like mine and you don't need to wear trousers
I'm not wearing any
By churchmouse at 14:14 08 Oct 2010
In this outfit, I can piss on that bush & not get wet.
You will if I piss back on you.
By Bureau at 18:39 08 Oct 2010
I told you they would find us behind this crummy bush.
Oh shut up and smile, they can't tell we're smokin this bush.
By C. Cranium at 08:04 09 Oct 2010
Glad to see you have gone green.
That's the other Bush, your Mightiness.
By Bureau at 16:11 09 Oct 2010
Why are you wearing that stupid grin all the time?
Why are you still wearing white after Labor Day?
By Bureau at 16:12 09 Oct 2010
I thought you were out of office. Where's the new President.
You're wondering why I'M still here? I read that in your thoughts over there.
By Bureau at 16:14 09 Oct 2010
I needed to know that for next Sunday's mass.
I just got some new underwear.
By Bureau at 21:03 09 Oct 2010
But that joke is old to everyone else.
Well, the underwear is new to me.
By Bureau at 21:03 09 Oct 2010
Just like a kid!
Do you wear underwear?
By Bureau at 21:04 09 Oct 2010
When will he ask "Are we there yet?"
I like the boxers.
By Bureau at 21:04 09 Oct 2010
Queen Amidala is young & naive. You will find controlling her will not be hard.
(Wookie sound.)
By anthonyrosania at 03:54 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
Okay, you light the bag of poop on fire and I'll ring the doorbell.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:00 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
Are you really going as a KKK guy for Halloween?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:01 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
I think Laura might ask you to stay for lunch for mac and cheese.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:01 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
You must like little boys cuz you wear a dress.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:02 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
Do you prefer Batman or Superman underpants?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:02 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
I like to call and ask if their refrigerator is running.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:03 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
The Obamas don't know I kept a key.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:03 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
Laura says I shouldn't tell people that I still pee the bed.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:04 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
Wanna go have a peeing for distance contest from the balcony?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:05 10 Oct 2010
I think this has to be the stupidest man ever born on this planet!
How come "chastity" and "chase titty" don't mean the same?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:06 10 Oct 2010
I'm not kissing you if that's what you're hinting at.
I saw a commercial on TV that said "kiss your hemroids goodbye!"
By Bureau at 16:11 11 Oct 2010
I figured you were on 'something.'
I'm on decaf now. I miss the Segway rage!
By Bureau at 16:12 11 Oct 2010
I got to come hear and listen to a nut.
Bet you like Christmas. I exchaned mine for some great stuff last year.
By Bureau at 16:14 11 Oct 2010
You mean lightbuld...but yours has gone out, I see.
How many popes does it take to change a baby?
By Bureau at 16:15 11 Oct 2010
Who wears underwear anymore?
Laura says that if women were in charge, our underwear would have a date on it.
By Bureau at 16:18 11 Oct 2010
You stole the congesswoman's underwear?
I'm wearing boxers.
By Bureau at 16:19 11 Oct 2010
Oh yes. 8:30 every night just after mass, after mass comes mass-turbation
D'they yawlways do that ther thing with the carrot in front of the window?
By Xavier at 21:30 11 Oct 2010
Ever since I was knee-high to a cardinal
Cripes do you really do that thing with yer pecker and yer hand
By Xavier at 21:31 11 Oct 2010
Sorry, it's a habit I learned in seminary. Not called seminary for no reason eh!
Hey Popey, what y'ole doing with that hand of yers
By Xavier at 21:32 11 Oct 2010
Come closer, I can't find it.
Left and up a bit
By Xavier at 21:33 11 Oct 2010
Look at the Chalices on that Parishioner
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating wafers...
By Moose at 16:03 12 Oct 2010
Any books in it?
Come see my Library sometime.
By Bureau at 20:43 12 Oct 2010
Mine has ten trillion dollars of stolen Nazi seized artworks.
My Library has my first Segway
By Bureau at 20:45 12 Oct 2010
A Classic what? I thinl I'm looking at a Classic now!
Ever read "My Pet Goat"? It's a classic!
By Bureau at 23:02 12 Oct 2010
Don't apologize. Go grab us a couple of cold ones!
Osama has beer conferences out here. I apologize.
By Bureau at 23:03 12 Oct 2010
I'm sure he was thrilled.
I planted this bush here in Dad's honor.
By Bureau at 23:04 12 Oct 2010
How original.
See that squirrel? I called him 'Bushy' when I was here.
By Bureau at 23:06 12 Oct 2010
What the fuck am I doing here? This guy isn't even the president any more.
Did you know I used to President? My Pa' got me the job you know.
By Proffitt at 14:23 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Shall we play on the swings or the teeter totter next?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:38 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Watch out, cuz sometimes I pee in the sandbox.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:38 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Okay, you kneel behind that kid and I'll push him over.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:39 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
How come we gotta hide behind this bush while you check em out?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:40 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
You grin any bigger and momma says your face will stick.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:40 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Don't look down, but you've got a chubby monster in your pants.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:41 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Sorry, but we can't have a draft for you to get more altar boys.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:41 13 Oct 2010
They have such handsome boys here in American parks.
Your priests hang out here all the time, but there's no ice cream man.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:42 13 Oct 2010
Why do you sound like a jackass?
Why do nuns look like penguins?
By Bureau at 16:33 13 Oct 2010
That looks like Jeremiah Wright in there now.
Over there was Cheney's machine gun nest.
By Bureau at 16:35 13 Oct 2010
Look, I won't move. Just one of you cameramen shoot me.
"I dreamed I saw Saint Agustateen..sounds just like Dylan, didn't it?
By Bureau at 00:33 15 Oct 2010
None taken. Why?
See that white squirrel? He's an albino...no offense meant.
By Bureau at 00:35 15 Oct 2010
Both popes no doubt.
Ever hear of Johnny & Edgar Winter? You'd pass for their brother.
By Bureau at 00:36 15 Oct 2010
Mess with me one more time and I'm calling the Inquisition!
You know where you all at the Vatican call it a mass? Here we call it a mess!
By Bureau at 16:49 15 Oct 2010
This entire time I've been speaking to that bush, thinking it was you!
Happens all the time, Your Catholicness.
By Geneva Slim at 01:18 17 Oct 2010
Heh heh...one word from me, and your guards turn you into fertilizer!
Ah, your secret ganja garden. Don't worry, my guards know to look the other way
By El Capitaz at 01:50 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the history of the entire world
You're German, so we're eating Der Weinershnitzel for supper.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:25 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
Is it true that an upset German is a Sour Kraut?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:26 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
How come you never ride in the wiener mobile?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:26 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
I'll bet my Air Force One is faster than your Pope Mobile!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:27 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
How come priests go for boys when your school girls' uniforms are hot?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:28 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
I think we named the St. Louis Cardinals after your church.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:29 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
How come you always call St. Francis a sissy?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 15:30 17 Oct 2010
This has to be the dumbest man ever born in the entire world's history.
I think this is the shrubery we're supposed to chop down with herring
By Jalapenoman at 15:32 17 Oct 2010
That Obama is in over his head!
He can't even run his own kool-aid stand!
By Shaela beans at 00:53 19 Oct 2010
So this is what hell must be like...
Don't worry, I'll put in a good word for you next time I talk to God.
By SpaceElevator at 13:00 20 Oct 2010
Mama Mia, look at the tits on that one Bushy!
Jezz, how many times have I told her to pull the goddamn blinds when dressing!!
By Herrdoktorfox at 18:48 20 Oct 2010
I wouldn't mind being free to play with the children in this land
It's great watching children play in the land of the free
By Zoltan Peppa at 11:35 22 Oct 2010
Take your hand off my arse you ugly tw*t
After dinner do you fancy a game of 'hide the sausage'?
By Zoltan Peppa at 11:42 22 Oct 2010
Oh for f**** sake!!
Ich bin ein katholisch
By Zoltan Peppa at 11:47 22 Oct 2010
I can't believe this caption comp is still running. Feels like a hundred years !
Shut up Benny and keep smiling
By Skoob1999 at 02:47 23 Oct 2010
Can we stop now? Only, my face hurts.
It's killin' me too Benny. Just keep smiling.
By Skoob1999 at 02:48 23 Oct 2010
Can we go now? I'm tired and I need to pee.
Won't be long now Benny. I think I see Mark lurking on that grassy knoll.
By Skoob1999 at 02:51 23 Oct 2010
I wonder if we'll pop round for a bacon sandwich and a glass of milk
If you just peer through the bushes you can just see Henry Kissinger's house
By Zoltan Peppa at 20:14 23 Oct 2010
"Celine Dion Gives Birth to..what is that?
(I hope he doesn't look over here.)
By Bureau at 17:43 24 Oct 2010
"I miss the Hitler Youth!"
"Me too!"
By Inchcock at 06:02 26 Oct 2010
"I'd better smile, the idiot has killed thousands of non Catholics for ..."
"I'd better smile before he realises I've killed 100's of American Catholics.."
By Inchcock at 06:05 26 Oct 2010
I bet this guy is in the next series of "An idiot abroad"
I bet this guy is in the next series of "An idiot abroad"
By Neil J at 12:41 28 Oct 2010
If Mark changes this picture, I'll beatify him!
We need a miracle
By IainB at 14:20 28 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Don't those kids make you priests want to spunk yourselves?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:13 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
I got a clown costume. I'm going as "Obama" this year.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:14 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
I'll trade you my tootsie rolls for your bubble gum!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:15 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Are you a real pope, are did you dress that way for Halloween?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:15 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Laura says I can't put lit bags of dog poop on Pelosi's porch again.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:16 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Let's knock over outhouses and egg the fag bars for Halloween!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:17 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Cheney dresses up like Yoda every year.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:17 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Pelosi isn't in a fright mask, that's her real face.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:17 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Don't touch the little girls cuz they've got the cooties.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:18 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Come back in April, and you can get excited when the kids roll eggs
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:18 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the trick or treaters.
Are you dressed up as Caspar the Friendly Ghost or as a KKK guy?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 23:19 29 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
On Halloween, I ask for candy. The other times, I'm nigger knocking.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:42 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
Them orange wrapped peanut butter candies are the worst.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:42 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
I call dibs on any popcorn balls.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:43 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
The secret service guys dressed up as Swiss Guard for Halloween.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:44 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
When Pelosi opens the door, she stomps the bag of dog poop.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:45 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
I bet your priests would be happy if the kids were their "tricks" for treats.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:46 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
Laura wouldn't let be buy a costume at Walmart this year.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:47 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
That's not real blood on those fangs. It's fake stuff.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:47 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
I'll bet King Kong wasn't really three feet tall with Batman shoes.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:48 30 Oct 2010
I hope I don't cream my jeans staring at the Trick or Treaters.
What do you fellers call Italian food in Italy?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 00:48 30 Oct 2010
My first miracle, standing in the same place for a month, listening to Shoe Man.
Have you conjured up a miracle yet?
By Bureau at 14:37 31 Oct 2010
Like I Give a sh...ine.
Rangers won last night!
By Bureau at 14:38 31 Oct 2010
Guess again, Lumpy Pants.
I think I just farted.
By Bureau at 14:39 31 Oct 2010
Same as you do.
You ever fart on the throne?
By Bureau at 14:40 31 Oct 2010
Ohhh goody goody!
I'm throwing the first ball out today. But I'll be back.
By Bureau at 14:40 31 Oct 2010
Sorry you're such an ********. Whoops I'm a minus one on that miracle thing.
Sorry I called your vehicle a pope cycle.
By Bureau at 14:43 31 Oct 2010
It's November first and I'm still standing next to this moron.
We've been here six weeks, has that groundhog seen his shadow?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 14:33 01 Nov 2010
Tomorrow's election day. Bet he has memories.
Tomorrow's election day. I remember twice I was drunk on my ass!
By Bureau at 19:58 01 Nov 2010
I've never been drunk on my ass but I've stood beside one for six weeks.
Pope dude! You hear the one about the priest with a hearing problem?
By Bureau at 20:00 01 Nov 2010
Don't start that.
Or the one about the Pope and...oh yeah. Never mind. Ask Cheney.
By Bureau at 20:01 01 Nov 2010
Only one choirboy? I guess no.
How about the one about the priest and the choir boy?
By Bureau at 20:02 01 Nov 2010
I miss the merekats.
I miss the election.
By Bureau at 20:03 01 Nov 2010
Just like Cheney.
That Turdblossom guy can really make me talk.
By Bureau at 20:04 01 Nov 2010
Now I've heard it straight from the horse's mouth.
That Barack Osama is a real Dem. Jackass.
By Bureau at 20:06 01 Nov 2010
Now I can see why American Priests love their altar boys so much!
The branch is hiding your boner.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:52 02 Nov 2010
Now I can see why American Priests love their altar boys so much!
You want me to send you a six pack of boys for Christmas?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:53 02 Nov 2010
Now I can see why American Priests love their altar boys so much!
Laura won't let me go play leap from with 'em in my suits.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:53 02 Nov 2010
Now I can see why American Priests love their altar boys so much!
I bet you prefer "touch" football to flag football.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:54 02 Nov 2010
Now I can see why American Priests love their altar boys so much!
Barney Frank's got that same look when he sees groups of boys.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 19:55 02 Nov 2010
Let's go. Anywhere!!
How do you like those Tea Party people?
By Bureau at 22:27 03 Nov 2010
Take ME back to the house!
Took back the House!
By Bureau at 22:28 03 Nov 2010
Was there ever a woman president?
Was there ever a woman pope?
By Bureau at 22:30 03 Nov 2010
Did you just fart?
Yes, but don't worry, they don't usually smell
By Jean Le Fete at 03:06 04 Nov 2010
What an idiot
Do you dye your hair to get it that white?
By Jean Le Fete at 03:08 04 Nov 2010
I bet you were a cute little boy
Its okay, I don't think ALL Catholics are pedophiles
By Jean Le Fete at 03:10 04 Nov 2010
Where are the rose flowers?
I ate them. I thought they were apples.
By whatinthe world at 13:29 04 Nov 2010
Dick Cheney just tried to shoot me!
Nah! He's just huntin' moose.
By whatinthe world at 13:32 04 Nov 2010
Is that Obama a socialist?
Is the Pope a Catholic?
By whatinthe world at 13:36 04 Nov 2010
If that thing gets any bigger, just spray some weedkiller.
yup.
By whatinthe world at 13:42 04 Nov 2010
Is that a pile of dog poo I see?
No, thats my breakfast and thanks for asking.
By whatinthe world at 13:45 04 Nov 2010
Oh no he's going to try and speak again.
Um, er, um, oh, ah, uh, pfff.....
By whatinthe world at 13:47 04 Nov 2010
If he talks about swiss cheese again I think I'll.......
and now we come to where the swiss cheese was grown.
By whatinthe world at 13:53 04 Nov 2010
If he talks about hunting again I'll probably....
So, this big moose brings his backside right over my face....
By whatinthe world at 13:57 04 Nov 2010
What did he just say?
Holy crap shit that was a good rose.
By whatinthe world at 13:59 04 Nov 2010
If Bush mentions the word "fuck" again....
So fuck 'em, i don't give a fuck, they can fuck 'emselves.
By whatinthe world at 14:05 04 Nov 2010
This guy bores me to tears! Help!!!
..and over here is my Texas tea tree, right next to my favourite gardenias.
By whatinthe world at 14:10 04 Nov 2010
Beam me up Scotty!!
Say, thats Dick now....hey Dick whats that gun in your hand?
By whatinthe world at 14:11 04 Nov 2010
Oh dear God!!!
Now we come to the best bit, my yellow rose of Texas.
By whatinthe world at 14:15 04 Nov 2010
If I just summon up a missile attack, maybe...
When I build the water feature it'll look damn fine from my Oval Office.
By whatinthe world at 14:18 04 Nov 2010
No way is this guy entering heaven.
So, we got rid of Saddam; now its time for Obama, Biden and Clinton.
By whatinthe world at 14:22 04 Nov 2010
I hate it when he thinks.
leg bone connects to the thigh bone,... thats it, the thigh bone!
By whatinthe world at 14:29 04 Nov 2010
oh mercy me!!
Yup, hot beans cooked on a campfire gets me fartin' real good.
By whatinthe world at 14:35 04 Nov 2010
More photos. Enough already!!
This one's for Billy Bob, my ranch manager. What? He's dead?
By whatinthe world at 14:37 04 Nov 2010
I fear I might swear!
So, this guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink...
By whatinthe world at 14:41 04 Nov 2010
You're standing on my foot.
Okay, a big smile for the camera guy. Oh fuck! He's got a gun.
By whatinthe world at 14:51 04 Nov 2010
This guy thinks he's God's gift to wisdom.
...and so my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you....
By whatinthe world at 14:54 04 Nov 2010
He's evil. I wonder if he's got a youth movement he could introduce me to....
are you related to Alexander Pope?...
By Mike Gatspy at 20:01 04 Nov 2010
Shit no.
Popes don't say potty words do they?
By Bureau at 23:27 04 Nov 2010
Shit no!
Did you say 'shit no?'
By Bureau at 23:27 04 Nov 2010
Shit no.
Can I make you say ten 'hail Marthas' for saying that word?
By Bureau at 23:28 04 Nov 2010
I need to shit but that camera guy says 'No'.
So what are you telling me?
By Bureau at 23:29 04 Nov 2010
So, do you think that war was illegal?
Define illegal, and war, and think....
By Ben Macnair at 12:49 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Yes, I wish I could go play hide and seek right now too.
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:22 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Don't you wish you could have Superman Underoos too?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:23 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Tag! You're it!
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:23 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Have you made Michael Jackson the patron saint of Pedophile Priests yet?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:26 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Did Barney Frank want to be a Priest when he grew up?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:26 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
So, which Nazi death camp did you work at in WWII?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:27 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
When you were a Hitler youth, did you have a little mustache?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:31 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Do you want to go up and play in Amy Carter's old treehouse?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:32 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Why does your church call itself "Catlicks?" Do they taste good?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:32 05 Nov 2010
They have such cute little altar boys in America; I'm jealous.
Did you ever pee in a fountain in Rome?
By Throckmorton Turdblossom at 16:34 05 Nov 2010
George, do you like a stiffy deep up your ass?
Never heard of that one, who sings it your Popeness?
By Herrdoktorfox at 21:38 05 Nov 2010
Well, I've finished a long fart!
Well, I finished telling my book.
By Bureau at 00:01 06 Nov 2010
That's the first interesting thing you have said.
Some ghost wrote it down.
By Bureau at 00:02 06 Nov 2010
A tale? Yes, I guess it was at that. "Told by an idiot..etc...
But I'm the one who told the tale.
By Bureau at 00:03 06 Nov 2010
And I'm Betty Boop!
Well, I'm an author now.
By Bureau at 00:26 06 Nov 2010
Kiddy fiddling catholic???
KFC. A real American treat
By Mike Gatspy at 09:47 06 Nov 2010
Can't wait to color it.
I tell all in my new book.
By Bureau at 18:54 07 Nov 2010
Where did you get me? I must have been asleep.
I got you in there.
By Bureau at 18:54 07 Nov 2010
Rush Limberger's what?
I hope my book sells more than Rush Limburgers
By Bureau at 18:55 07 Nov 2010
Rushbo? Don't call me a peckerhead!
You know! The one those peckerheads call all day.
By Bureau at 18:56 07 Nov 2010
I'd laugh but apparently Dylan had one.
I wish I had a talk show.
By Bureau at 18:57 07 Nov 2010
I will place it reverently in the Vatican...john.
I'll sign you a copy of my new book.
By Bureau at 21:21 07 Nov 2010
If there are pictures, I'll pass.
When I was here, Cheney used to streak down the halls at night, cackling.
By Bureau at 21:23 07 Nov 2010
Are you sure he's nowhere around right now?
What a sense of humor Cheney has. He'll shoot you in the face & laugh at you.
By Bureau at 21:25 07 Nov 2010
I didn't put them up there. They said you COULDN'T think!
Why don't you ever say anything? I can still read those thought balloons.
By Bureau at 21:26 07 Nov 2010
Would you kiss Jesus if you were Judas?
I wouldn't have waited as long as Judas did...
By thehideous at 08:25 08 Nov 2010
My cardinals finished all the marijuana you gifted us last time..
What do you think I'm doing in Afghan?
By thehideous at 08:33 08 Nov 2010
The only thing that should be hanging around your neck is a dog collar
Where can I get Bling like that Mr Popey?
By masterchev at 22:36 08 Nov 2010
It's your namesake!
The tree's called GEORGE?
By MostlyHarmless at 00:58 09 Nov 2010
It's called Laurus Nobilis
Reminds me - gotta get back, I left Dick Cheney minding the store
By MostlyHarmless at 01:15 09 Nov 2010
I may only have a thought cloud but just look over my head.
Balloons are like condoms. They were afraid they would offend you.
By Bureau at 23:47 09 Nov 2010
How's it hanging? Wow, you can read my thoughts.
Cheney could always read mine. Laura too. Dad...Mom...Putin...
By Bureau at 23:48 09 Nov 2010
Is this guy serious? All of the sudden I question my faith.
JEE-SUS Walks! Man I love this song, who made it? ...Oh.
By TheFrogBlogg at 16:40 10 Nov 2010
Urbi et orbi.
Why'd he do that? We got plenty of food in the Whitehouse kitchen.
By Ellis Ian Fields at 14:29 11 Nov 2010
E pluribus unum.
Oh, er ... yeah. Do you want a cutting?
By Ellis Ian Fields at 14:32 11 Nov 2010
Ex Pinto Facto
Indeed, that was a bean fart.
By Bureau at 18:52 13 Nov 2010
Burrito?
Correct! I see you're a fart aficionado, also.
By Bureau at 18:53 13 Nov 2010
Ever light one of those things.
Negatory. But have suffered greatly in the National Guard!
By Bureau at 23:30 13 Nov 2010
Why do you call Rove Turdblossom?
He can made a flower out of the carp the Dems throw.
By Bureau at 23:32 13 Nov 2010
Ever light a fart?
No. But mine has been lit.
By Bureau at 23:33 13 Nov 2010
Why are we talking about farts?
Because we have talked about everything else.
By Bureau at 23:33 13 Nov 2010
Do you believe in UFO's?
Yes. Got hit by a shoe. Until I knew it was a shoe, it was unidentified!
By Bureau at 23:34 13 Nov 2010
Did I tell him Susan Boyle sang for me a few weeks ago?
Speak up...I'm not a bloody mind-reader.
By Lady Godiva at 17:04 14 Nov 2010
I wonder if he's the one who can't spell potato?
Isn't English a funny language? Of course - neither of US speak it.
By Lady Godiva at 17:07 14 Nov 2010
Sometimes he can read my mind. That's amazing?
It's more amazing because you think in a foreign language.
By Lady Godiva at 17:09 14 Nov 2010
Whaddathefuck is thissa waterboarding shit Isa hearing about Bushy baby?
surfing lessons for ragheads your Popeness.
By Herrdoktorfox at 20:00 15 Nov 2010
Geesuss Christ I forgot to put my Viagra prescription into the Vatican pharmacy!
...fear not your Popeness I got a six pack back at the Hyatt you can borrow.
By Herrdoktorfox at 20:05 15 Nov 2010
That's OK. From what I hear, the Tea Party has done it for you.
I think I forgot to set the clock back this month.
By Captioner at 00:18 17 Nov 2010
Don't think YOU'RE off the hook my childQ
I hear a Canadian Politician used the word 'misunderestimate' on tv. yesterday..
By Lady Godiva at 12:22 17 Nov 2010
Aren't you tired off the photo?
Nope.
By C. Cranium at 00:25 18 Nov 2010
Liked your new book. I hope to read it one day.
Pay no attention to the spelling. Had a democratic writer and didn't know it.
By Bureau at 19:53 19 Nov 2010
Just in bad dreams.
You ever see Hitler?
By Bureau at 19:54 19 Nov 2010
An enemy with a bomb.
What made him tick?
By Bureau at 19:54 19 Nov 2010
You mean I can crap on him?
Well, he's in that list at the bottom of the page.
By Bureau at 19:55 19 Nov 2010
Only about a thousand times.
You ever hear of a Pope Joan?
By Bureau at 21:33 19 Nov 2010
I don't even know if she were a real person!
Was she a real pope?
By Bureau at 21:33 19 Nov 2010
Is that why we have been standing here for a month?
You think that filibuster in the House is over?
By Bureau at 21:34 19 Nov 2010
I hope I die first.
I was told to keep you busy. Bet you have a birthday coming up.
By Bureau at 21:35 19 Nov 2010
What ! Does the idiot think I've never 'lived' just coz I wear this dress?
Have you ever been to a nudist camp before your holiness?
By Lady Godiva at 22:25 19 Nov 2010
I hope we're out by Christmas.
Me too. Daddy promised me a pony.
By Bureau at 17:29 20 Nov 2010
They say I made 25 new Cardinals yesterday. How did I do that?
Guess that's your second miracle. I'm a witness that you have been here.
By Bureau at 17:30 20 Nov 2010
I'm beginning to hate you and that's a sin.
I've asked for forgiveness 30 times already.
By Bureau at 17:30 20 Nov 2010
What do you have under that suit, a pile of dog crap?
Can't help it. Deodorant only last two months.
By Bureau at 17:31 20 Nov 2010
I gues I don't smell so good either. You get used to your own smell.
Let's just say your expiration date ran out a month ago.
By Bureau at 17:33 20 Nov 2010
Aah bushes, Gods most glorious and noble of plants. The world would be so......
Hey diddnt you used to be a naxi? What was that like?
By cursedasfunk at 04:10 21 Nov 2010
Yes but we've poked holes in them all
Great that you've lifted the ban on condoms for Catholics
By Lady Godiva at 13:46 21 Nov 2010
No, the condoms, idio..Mr. Bush.
You mean the Catholics?
By Bureau at 17:05 21 Nov 2010
Won't take long...one book.
I've been invited to Squirrel City in Kentucky to sign my book.
By Bureau at 17:06 21 Nov 2010
Play for St. Louis?
When does somebody become a Cardinal?
By Bureau at 17:06 21 Nov 2010
Yes..I think you're safe. People forget.
Wonder if Obama will pardon that turkey this year?
By Bureau at 17:07 21 Nov 2010
Another sign of the "End of days" is nearly upon us...
Laura is thinking about running for president in 2012. I do miss living here..
By Lightning at 18:58 22 Nov 2010
Hey!the scenery is exotic.
Umh!the scene is okay, your eminence
By Ed.nyameri at 04:49 23 Nov 2010
I like New York in June -- How about you?
I like a Gershwin tune -- How about Jew?
By SpaceElevator at 05:21 23 Nov 2010
I-a GERMAN-a, so-a WHY-a I-a keep-a talkin'-a with-a this-a ITALIAN-a accent-a??
Beatbox with me, Pope... (brm)weap(pff)ons (tktktktk)of(sh)mass destruk(brm)shun
By SpaceElevator at 05:43 23 Nov 2010
DerSpoof!, ja? Immer mit lustigste Parodie Schlagzeilen? Ich verstehe es nicht.
TheSpoof!, eh? Always there with the funniest spoof headlines? I don't get it.
By SpaceElevator at 07:39 23 Nov 2010
I wonder what the moron is going to say next?
Do you use bleach to get your Pope clothes so white?
By Lady Godiva at 12:00 23 Nov 2010
Is he going to wear that to lunch? ICONIC...!
I only wear my bush-suit for top dignitaries like you. I feel it's icanic...
By Lightning at 17:31 23 Nov 2010
Oh I wish I had an Oscar Meyer Weiner!
What would you do with it?
By Bureau at 00:09 24 Nov 2010
I was just singing from boredom.
Use one of the legal condoms?
By Bureau at 00:09 24 Nov 2010
I was right to do that. Diseases have spread because of stubborness!
I know. My brother gave me the mumps.
By Bureau at 00:10 24 Nov 2010
Through a bad condom?
No. Through just being around him. He gave me the mumps!
By Bureau at 00:10 24 Nov 2010
Were you upset?
I pushed him off the porch!
By Bureau at 00:11 24 Nov 2010
When he had the mumps?
That's right. Bag swelled up like a basketball. Walked bow-legged.
By Bureau at 00:11 24 Nov 2010
And everyone made fun of him?
No. Lots of Texans walk bow-legged.
By Bureau at 00:12 24 Nov 2010
Because they had the mumps & someone pushed them off the porch?
Now. Because they have an extra long oscar Meyer Weiner, like your song.
By Bureau at 00:13 24 Nov 2010
You're getting on my nerves.
And you are full of shit.
By Bureau at 00:13 24 Nov 2010
Nucklar!
Nazi!
By Bureau at 00:14 24 Nov 2010
I'll have the Spanish Inquisition on you.
The Skull & Bones will have something to say about that.
By Bureau at 00:15 24 Nov 2010
Wasted! Six weeks of my life...wasted. Hope Lowton loves purgatory.
So what are you thinking now. It looks blank.
By Bureau at 01:31 24 Nov 2010
We missed the whole Dancing With the Stars series.
I can Bunny Hop for you.
By Bureau at 20:35 24 Nov 2010
That's OK, skip it.
OK, but I'm much better at hopping than skipping.
By Bureau at 20:35 24 Nov 2010
So Satan, We meet again
Yes, Popey. Wait there while I get my firey pitch-fork
By Katarina Frogpond2 at 15:50 25 Nov 2010
My bubble is a 'thinking' bubble. Bush can't HEAR me!
I wonder what your are 'thining' now you old bugger.
By Lady Godiva at 20:41 25 Nov 2010
My bubbles a 'thinking' bubble. He can't bloody well HEAR me.
I wonder what you are 'thinking' now you old bugger?
By Lady Godiva at 20:42 25 Nov 2010
I think there's an echo in here.
Lady G. couldn't get in to fix her typo....
By Lady Godiva at 20:43 25 Nov 2010
Hmm! I am having second thoughts about the condom thing.
Lifting the ban on condoms was as bit too late. Catholics used them anyway.
By Lady Godiva at 02:10 26 Nov 2010
I should have given this dude's father Special Dispensation before he married!
Ya know, Ben, we've been using condominums for years and years
By Bugatti Dunes at 15:38 26 Nov 2010
What in God's name will the idiot come out with next.
I hear Catholics priests are celebrate.
By Lady Godiva at 17:45 26 Nov 2010
I thought we were getting off here today.
I'd be pleased to just get off!
By Bureau at 18:43 26 Nov 2010
I miss the Vatican.
I miss Laura...our poodle, Palin.
By Bureau at 18:44 26 Nov 2010
I guess there really is a purgatory.
Of Course. Why would they name that place, "Purgatory Falls"?
By Bureau at 18:44 26 Nov 2010
When I leave here, I'll sit on my throne for a week.
Me too. I haven't crapped in a month and a half.
By Bureau at 18:45 26 Nov 2010
"Open the door, here comes the Pope!"
"Open the windows, here comes a farting ex-Prez!"
By Bureau at 18:46 26 Nov 2010
Wonder where Mark found us?
Don't remember this pic being taken.
By Bureau at 18:47 26 Nov 2010
Maybe you're at the bad place.
With you here? Did you kiss Hitler?
By Bureau at 18:47 26 Nov 2010
No, we'll be released soon. I have faith.
And I have the itchy balls..for weeks & can't scratch them.
By Bureau at 18:48 26 Nov 2010
"You kiddin'? The bitch won't let me touch her either"
"I was hopin' you could put in a word with that Merkle dame,,"
By stephen d gross at 00:27 27 Nov 2010
Do you know any Catholic songs?
What's that? You mean like "Crumble Pie?"
By Bureau at 17:38 28 Nov 2010
Crumble Pie? I thought it was American Pie?
That's a Catholic song? Hey the 'band' is the Beatles, right?
By Bureau at 17:39 28 Nov 2010
I guess. King was Elvis.
Yeah. I couldn't get that one.
By Bureau at 17:39 28 Nov 2010
The Joker was Dylan.
Oh. I thought that was Weird Al?
By Bureau at 17:40 28 Nov 2010
Did you know that "The Byrds" were the Byrds?
Nope! I thought it was Iron Butterfly!
By Bureau at 17:41 28 Nov 2010
You arranged those attacks, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU?!
This is the very bush I hid behind during the 9/11 attacks.
By mattymc13 at 12:54 13 Dec 2010
Why is he touching me? That is NOT the way to salvation!
And er, this is where we grow the marijuana your Jesusness.
By PuddyTwat at 17:43 09 Feb 2011
Why is he touching me there for? That is NOT the path to salvation!
And er, this is where we grow the marijuana your Jesusness.
By PuddyTwat at 17:44 09 Feb 2011
And this guy has his finger on the Nuke button???
Peek-a-Boo
By Dirk Scare-Monger at 13:37 25 Mar 2011
Ah yes. He had a wonderful song "Boys will be Boys"
The singer Dennis De Young is on next, your holiness.
By Steddyeddy at 12:41 28 Mar 2011
You remind me of Curious George
You remind me of Casper the Friendly Ghost
By Pariah at 01:39 20 Apr 2011
Twas I slapped your ass sleeping naked in the coffin
Dang you! That scared the hell out a me.
By Aspartame Boy at 05:37 08 May 2011
Uh-oh...I hope they didn't see anything.
Just keep smiling, pull your hand from my pants and cover me while I zip up.
By Pariah at 02:36 13 May 2011
It's true what they say about him, he really is an idiot.
Mrs Pope keeping well is she?
By Tommy Twinkle at 23:03 11 Jun 2011
God, I'm bored. He just goes on and on.
The rose petal to the right has faded because the dog peed on it.
By whatinthe world at 13:08 13 Jul 2011
I hope I didn't leave the fawcett running.
Funny, all that water shouldn't be there.
By whatinthe world at 06:47 24 Aug 2011
He owes me 250 dollars!
When I get round to it I'll hit you up for $35.00.
By whatinthe world at 06:49 24 Aug 2011
You must come visit me in the Vatican, George.
Well, I don't make it down to Disney World much, Pope John.
By JOJO at 03:21 10 Dec 2011
Is the Secret Service man under my robe really necessary, Georgie?
He's gone now Pope Boy--passed out on the sidewalk.....
By Mario at 19:54 01 Oct 2012
You sure this pic's going on The Spoof, Georgie?
Sure thing...see that idiot over there with the camera? That's their CEO....
By Mario at 19:59 01 Oct 2012
You a fundamentalist, my a Catholic--what do we have in common George?
We is handsome, smart, and educated good.
By Mario at 20:08 01 Oct 2012
And to think I'm missing "I'm a Celeb" for this crap
Behold the workification of the Lord and the wondrousificatory greenery
By Steddyeddy at 16:02 21 Nov 2012
If you ran for president again, I'd vote for that green bush over there instead.
I hope you don't mean that most highest, Dalai Lama.
By Butch32 at 00:58 04 Dec 2013

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