Spoof news events on this day in history
(2006) Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle
Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...Read full story
(2007) Local mother so overweight, when she turns around it "sounds like a truck backing up"
Your Town - Your Mom, a local mother of you, has been reported as being so overweight that when she turns around eyewitnesses report that the accompanying sound resembles "a truck backing up".Read full story
(2009) Jeremy Clarkson Disappearance: Mystery Solved
A full scale search was mounted by police yesterday following a report that broadcaster, journalist and self-obsessed lunatic Jeremy Clarkson had gone missing whilst filming a new series of motoring programme, 'Top Drear'. Half a dozen motoring af...Read full story
(2009) Obama stages his very own My Pet Goat moment
Washington AC/DC - (9/11 Mess): "If it worked for Dubya it sure as hell will work for me!" That's how President Barack Obama described Tuesday's televised schools' address in a maneuver modelled largely on George W Bush's 9/11 storybook reading at...Read full story
(2009) Chickens Come Home to Roost at White House, Then Disappear: Voodoo or Frogmore Stew?
Washington,DC/ Cooking with Emeril/ BAM/BAM! - An unholy host of czars and other big time DEMS have been caught on TV mouthing absolute bizarre rants, and their antics have opened Pandora's Hen House and , as Rev. Wright once said, "them chickens are...Read full story
(2010) Fossil of "Missing Link" Between Humans and Apes Found with Darwin's Possessions!
For years, Darwin's theories involving humans and apes, and whether or not both shared a common ancestor, was always lacking definitive proof in the form of fossilized remains of the theorized creature. That issue exists no more: a complete fossil...Read full story
(2008) Prime Minister Abolishes Poverty In The UK
An ebuliant Gordon Brown was delighted to reveal that poverty had been abolished. In a speech to the Institute of Getting Paid Loads of Money for Not Doing Anything Usefull Ever he said."I have managed to come to an agreement with the makers of di...Read full story
(2008) Blind Boy suspended from School for wearing wrong trousers
Harry Dick, blind boy born to a dwarf, transvestite, one-legged father and an eczyma ridden, hump-backed, jail-brid father (not a typo) has been suspended from his Special School for the Blind for turning up to his Parentcraft lesson wearing banana...Read full story
(2010) Miley Cyrus Moons Reporters Before They Can React
After all the recent articles about Miley Cyrus that are sex oriented, the young actress and singer got the best of some reporters she saw waiting outside a club to catch some Hollywood types that were inside. So they were caught at just the right...Read full story
(2008) Detroit Saved! Mayor Resigns, Joins Obama Advisor Team!
Detroit/AP - Still cringing from the whuppin' put on his quest for President by Sarah Palin, Barack Obama announced today he was putting some "Hip Hop" back into his campaign by bringing on board his "Election Soul Train", former Detroit Mayor Kwame...Read full story
(2010) Hurricane Earl causes chaos in the UK
Hurricane Earl, the Atlantic storm system has caused chaos across the Atlantic in the UK. The West Coast of the UK has been battered by wind speeds of up to sixty miles an hour dislodging roof tiles and blowing over cones on the M6. It was the lat...Read full story
(2008) Carry on Spying
A long lost script to a new old film has recently been unearthed in a garage in Kettering. Carry on Spying was thought to be the final script that the original cast of the Carry on Films were meant to be working on. It was apparently a light spoof...Read full story
(2006) Barney, First Dog, Terrier Stricken
Washington, DC - The administration will crank up its war on terrier at the behest of Barney, the presidential Scottie, who has disavowed his terrier heritage, his "terriosity," as Tony Snow (former Pit Bull terrier, now claiming to be a Whippet houn...Read full story
(2009) A new Sherlock Ohms Mystery Discovered
London UK: While doing some research on the famous author Sir Arthur Colyn Doyle, creator of Sherlock Ohms, a researcher found a hidden unpublished manuscript. The unearthed story begins with Mrs. Butterworth the housekeeper, who filters all of t...Read full story
(2009) Ecuadorian Judge Steps Down, Sticks It to Big Oil
QUITO, Ecuador - A tree-hugging judge presiding over a $27 billion environmental lawsuit against Chevroil recused himself from the case Friday to allow legal proceedings to continue uninterrupted, said Ecuadorian officials. Earlier this week, Che...Read full story
(2009) IRA vetoed Libyan payout to Gordon Brown victims
London - (Rioters): Global Piss Process scumbags personally vetoed Colonel Gadaffi's compensation moves to London 7/7 bombing victims 'because it might have jeopardised snake oil deals with Al-Qaeda'. Instead victims' families were offered a ch...Read full story
(2009) Prince Harry Turns To TV Hypnotist
Prince Harry has turned to TV hypnotist Paul McConya in a last-ditch bid to break what a pal describes as "a life-long addiction". "For some years now, and indeed since I first met him at Eton, Harry has loved a fag," said long-time chum and regim...Read full story
(2010) Wayne Rooney joins Roman Polanski in Switzerland for degenerate bender
England boss Fabio Capello says Wayne Rooney will play in Tuesday's Euro 2012 qualifier in Switzerland, despite allegations about his private life. In the mean time, it is rumoured that Roman Polanski will be putting the young striker through a gr...Read full story
(2016) NFL Players Must Wear Ankle Bracelets
When you're paid to hit people on the job you might take that home with you, or in your car, at a bar, in a nightclub, or in a parking lot dispute. NFL players are spoiled, they feel entitled. They believe they're outside the rules and that even i...Read full story
(2009) Blockbuster Trade: Team Obama Sends 'Green Czar' Van Jones to Team Venezuela for 2 Community Organizers to Be Named Later Plus Cash!
Caracas, Venezuela/ Futbol News - Team Venezuela Owner, Coach and Manager Hugo Chavez is said to be exuberant today after acquiring the services of multi-talented rabble rouser and shit stirrer, Van Jones after Jones was finally expelled on multiple...Read full story
(2009) IRA victims criticise PM on America
Families of IRA victims have criticised the government for failing to put pressure on America to pay compensation to them. They say America should pay this compensation because it funded the IRA, to allow them to buy explosives used in many atrocitie...Read full story
(2008) Chameleon McCain Makes Change Look Easy!
As the whole world was watching, John McCain sought to recover his 2000 campaign role as a maverick despite a 2008 campaign of pandering to the religious right(who he used to brand as intolerant), backing off of his denunciation of Bush torture as wh...Read full story