Spoof news events on this day in history
(2010) Clowns Picket Alton Towers Claiming Not To Be Evil
There was widespread panic at Alton Towers yesterday as thousands of clowns armed with outsized shoes and plastic buttonholes that squirt water out chained themselves to railings at the Staffordshire theme park. The clowns are upset about a new Ha...Read full story
(2009) Jessica Simpson does a Pocahontas-saves Chupacabra from Sarah Palin-Couple wed by Janet Reno
PHOENIX, AZ (ABSNN) with Abel Rodriguez on site - Jessica Simpson, possessor of the World's Most Dangerous Vagina, and a member of Sarah Palin's Chupacabra Hunting Expedition, became a Pocahontas of sorts, when she disarmed Palin, and saved the life...Read full story
(2008) Palin Invites McCain to Her Bed...Tanning, that is!
Ambitious Alaskan Bronze Beauty runner up Sarah Palin had a used tanning bed installed in the Alaskan Governor's trailer just days after the inauguration. A variety of rationales were provided at the time, like "Alaska is friggin' frigid" to my Hotti...Read full story
(2011) Michele Bachmann: "Romney is Gay"
GOP Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann announced today that she has "indisputable proof" that co-candidate Mitch Romney is gay. "Just look at that hair," she said, "and those teeth. Nobody looks that good unless they're either a movie star o...Read full story
(2009) "Bag of Bones" Found Alongside M5: Coppers Seek Whereabouts of Victoria Beckham!
London,Uk/ Scotland Yard/Interpol Missing Persons Bulletin/Amber Alert - Law enforcement officials at Interpol and Scotland Yard were working feverishly reviewing reams of film from area spy cameras after 'a bag of bones' was found just off the break...Read full story
(2011) Tiger Woods Pitches Rolex in Average-Guy Campaign
Inking his first endorsement deal since his wife's golf-club-upside-the-head incident two years ago, Tiger Woods will stump for Rolex Watches in a new advertising campaign targeted at working class men. The magazine ads already under production, W...Read full story
(2010) President Obama Gets Eviction Notice from China
At an emergency press conference today, a shocked and embarrassed US President, Barack Obama, announced that China has just delivered him an eviction notice for the entire country. "Wow", exclaimed a shocked Obama. "This is a real bummer. I me...Read full story
(2010) Wind Farms are not as green as you would think
Opponents to Wind Farms now have one more arrow in their bow to try and block the construction of Wind Farms. New research has proven what should have been obvious. Wind Farms reduce the intensity of the wind. "When you stop and think about...Read full story
(2010) John Lennon Tribute Guitar Fails To Impress Axemen
Legendary guitar manufacturer Gibson has been slammed by guitarists for its plans to release a John Lennon "signature" model. Asked by Lennon's widow, Yoko Ono, to mark his 70th birthday, Gibson plan to release a limited number of specially-built...Read full story
(2008) Hell breaks loose in Iceland due to financial crisis
It would appear that things are not too rosy in Iceland at the moment, thanks to the deepening financial crisis. Responsible for more marital strain than any other place on earth - husbands used to dread coming home to find the kids alone shouting...Read full story
(2007) Astronomer Spots Tiny Galaxy
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Astronomer Dr. Povenmire Finootch found a tiny galaxy half way across the universe (which is kind of odd since the universe is infinite in size and so where is the half way point of forever ?).Read full story
(2008) Soccer Mom Palin Meets With Soccer Dictator North Korean Leader at Soccer Game!
Sarah Palin demonstrated her international diplomatic credentials, her maverick daring do and her soccer parent dedication all at once this week! Kim Jong- Very Il, fresh from a massive stroke could not be stopped from attending his little fella...Read full story
(2007) Shimon Perez: "Madonna is my daughter"
Tel Aviv - (Reuterus): Israeli President Shimon Perez has said that an exact DNA match between himself and 'ambassador for Judaism' Madonna points to just one thing:...Read full story
(2007) Diana Inquest Jury Jolly Shock
The inquest into the death of Diana, Princess of Wails threatens to run aground tonight over the impending jury jaunt to Paris. Jurors have informed The Right Honourable Justice Scott Baker of several demands which they say must be met, or lose his...Read full story
(2010) Seattle Opens First Self-Help Health Clinics in US
SEATTLE, Washington - A group of enterprising doctors today were granted a license by the State Board of Medical Examiners in Washington State to open the first of what they hope to be many self-help walk-in clinics in America. Based on the concep...Read full story
(2010) Arse wiping assistance requirements increase
According to a new health organisation survey, there has been an increase in people who can no longer reach their own bottoms due to their arms being too short or in some cases, the arse itself has moved further away, either way, there are increasing...Read full story
(2010) Midsomer Murders Fans Furious At Lack Of Stiffs!
Fans of TV detective series Midsomer Murders were up in arms last night after they had to wait for more than 80 minutes into the two-hour show for their first body. Viewers accustomed to murder, mayhem and bodies all over the place in the otherwis...Read full story
(2008) Trump to trump all by building condo on Mars
In breaking news today, billionaire Donald Trump has announced that he will construct three condominiums on the planet Mars by 2016. He has signed a joint venture with the Euro Space Agency for the transport of materials and construction workers...Read full story
(2005) Democrats Hellbent on Evicting God
SALEM, MA-Not satisfied with routing religion from America's public schoolrooms, liberal Democrats and Godless infidels (or is that being superfluous?) have set their sights on the next-and last-frontier. With Satan on their side, there's a grassroot...Read full story
(2010) Child Benefit Cuts - Crackheads In Revolt
Crackheads all over the country were last night putting their heads together with a view to starting a protest movement over the proposed axing of Child Benefit by the Con-Dem government. Child Benefit payments are a vital constituent of 97% of Cr...Read full story
(2009) Adult Entertainment Magnate Makes Bid For Family-Friendly Outfit
In the midst of a flailing entertainment market, corporate financial concerns and recent management reorganization, the Malt Risley corporation (famous for its family friendly musical cartoon movies), may be "entertaining" the possibility of a merger...Read full story
(2008) Cabinet reshuffle is a diversion and sham
At a private meeting in Westminster, Prime Minister Gordon Brown revealed that his recent cabinet reshuffle is only temporary until such time as he fills all the various posts on a more permanent basis later in the week. His spokesman said: "It...Read full story