Spoof news events on this day in history
(2007) Queen Mudder meets Satan
London Dec. 1st 2007: (Ass.Mess.) The acclaimed Spoof Queen and part time Judge, affectionately known as 'The Queen Mudder' has confessed as to how she has become so successful and prolific.Read full story
(2008) Ferguson Backs Rooney Investigation
Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has backed the calls for an investigation into stamping allegations levelled at Wayne Rooney during the Reds' Champions League match with Aalborg on Wednesday. Rooney is alleged to have trodden on the ch...Read full story
(2015) Barrack Obama says of Donald Trump "You can put a toupee on a donkey but it's still a donkey"
The already charged political debate in America became electrified yesterday when President Obama was asked what he thought about GOP front runner Donald Trump and said "You can put a toupee on a donkey but it's still a donkey". GOP activists reac...Read full story
(2009) Tiger Woods Life Is In The Sand Trap - He's Placed On Suicidal Watch
ORLANDO - It appears that charter members of The Tiger Woods "Scorecard Club" continue to come out of the woods, the woodwork, and the woodshed. Tiger Woods personal manager and spokesperson Upton Courtquist has reportedly lost his voice from the...Read full story
(2007) Oprah for Obama - Double-O factor takes unusual turn! New poll has Oprah Winfrey leading Hillary Clinton by double digits in Iowa, New Hampshire, S.Carolina!! Queen of talk shows considering Presidential run!!!
With cries of "Run Oprah Run" filling the air, the talk-show icon and Earth Mother addressed thousands of her adoring fans over the weekend - during her official public celebrity en...Read full story
(2007) American Citizenship For Beckham: Vows to Win World Cup For USA
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA -- English football hero David Beckham is getting cheers from America and jeers from England today as he announced that he will play the next world cup for America. Since his move to North American Soccer, there has been a t...Read full story
(2008) Man Cannot Live by Bread alone, claims God
God's been talking more bollox and this time it's about foodstuffs. The divine being was waiting in line at the local supermarket when he suddenly began preaching in his usual demented manner. He said that man cannot live by bread alone - which is...Read full story
(2009) Video Game Violence Slated
The Cycle's Electronic Entertainment Correspondent Arbuthnot Flange-Plate reports: A sudden upswing in teenage violence has led to rabid calls for the banning of violent video games. Sir Waldorf Qum-Buquet Liberal Peer for spoiling peoples' fun...Read full story
(2008) President Bush receives phone call from Santa Claus
The President of the United States, George W Bush, today received a telemarketing call from none other than the jolly fat bloke in the red suit, yes, Santa Claus. In what is believed to be a world first, Santa Claus has decided to ask people pers...Read full story
(2003) Statue of Liberty To Have New Home!
The Statue of Liberty was purchased by a Baptist Church in the Heartland of the U.S. today. The First Church of Baptist purchased the landmark from the city of New York for a whopping 235 million dollars.Read full story
(2007) Mike Huckabee: Perfecting the Art of Bible Thumping
BRIMSTONE, SOUTH CAROLINA - Hoping to prove that lemmings have nothing over most Americans, Presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee is working out all the kinks in his Bible thumping routine.Read full story
(2008) Santa Exposed
Santa Claus was exposed as a fraud today by a school teacher in Liverpool. The young teacher, Miss Take, shocked the pupils in her charge when she announced that Santa Claus was fictitious to a class of six and seven year old children. She shatter...Read full story
(2011) Jeans influence how much sleep you need
A study of 15 people found that those wearing baggy jeans slept much longer than the normal average of 8 hours. And those wearing 'severely-distressed' jeans reported fewer hours of sleep - mainly because of the draughts. Researchers planned to su...Read full story
(2007) Evel Kneivel's Hearse Clears Record 30 Gravestones
BUTTE, Montana (Heewack News Network)-- The hearse carrying the body of famed stuntrider Evel Kneivel cleared a record 30 gravestones at his burial site, providing a spectacular ending to a solemn service and a storied career.Read full story
(2008) Ann Coulter has Jaw Wired Shut
Liberals everywhere rejoiced at the new that Ann Coulter had her jaw wired shut. It turns out that the right-wing hate monger broke her money maker and had to have it immobilized. Victims of her scathing, anti-left books and speeches came out of t...Read full story
(2010) X-Factor Matt Cardle's Dirty Filthy Shameful Secret Life Revealed - Shocking Exclusive!
Most of the TV viewing public quite correctly empathise with poor Essex painter and decorator (?) Matt Cardle off the X-Factor, because he's so humble, and because he's a proper musician as opposed to the plastic wannabes he's up against (apart from...Read full story
(2006) BBC's Groundforce to Renovate Barbara Bush's Bush
The BBC proudly announced the jewel in their Christmas crown last night, with news that President Bush had OK'd the redesign of his wife's bush.Read full story
(2007) Conrad Black will be allowed to Spoof from Prison
Chicago, Illinois - (Perjuring Mess): Convicted swindler and former newspaper boss Lord Black of Crossharbour will be able to write for a satirical comedy website even after he enters prison on March 3 according to federal prison sources in FCI Cole...Read full story
(2006) Not looking good for Geller but his penis will pull through.
Days after the tragic 'wankathon' accident which has left paranormalist Uri Geller fighting for his life, doctors claim that, although there is not much they can do for him, his penis will pull through.Read full story
(2007) British and Saudi Arms Scandal Astounds World
LONDON (FMLiveWire) - The massive BAE weapons bribery scandal enveloping the British Government and the Saudi Arabian royal family continues to astound the world.Read full story
(2007) Snowball Earth?
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - According to Physorg.com, "Snowball" Earth really became "Slushball" Earth. Evidenced by the amount of carbon 13 which was found in the remains of plants of the late Neoproterozoic era, somewhere between 85...Read full story
(2009) Palin Agrees to Debate Al Gore On Climate Change: Will Speak In Tongues
Sarah Palin has announced after days of excuses and complaints that she would not be treated fairly in a debate with Al Gore has decided that she would, indeed, debate him on climate change. Said Palin, "I know what their plans are and that is to...Read full story