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Spoof news events on this day in history
Showing page 3 (of 8 pages)
(2010) Rooney Breaks Football's Unwritten Rule
The truth behind the England team's disappointing summer World Cup capitulation can be revealed today as reports circulate that Wayne Rooney has been knobbing ex-captain John Terry's mum for months.
The alleged affair was going on even before Terr...
(2009) X Factor Judges talk Shit - it's official!
Chronic Masturbators around the UK are in uproar today, after Cheryl Cole and Daniiiiii Minogue accused flibberty-gibbets and strumpets "Kandy Rain" of being too shameless, slutty and getting their minges out on Saturday's X factor.
The idiot-chil...
(2010) Vatican Claims UFOs to Blame for Much of Church Scandal
An official report from the Vatican released on 10-10-10 puportedly shows evidence that there were several sightings and/or abductions during the last half of this decade centered solely around the Vatican and a direct link to other-worldly beings.
(2007) Pam Ayres's new gangster rap album surprises the critics
'I wish I had looked after my Gold teeth, yo ho', the new Rap album from Pam Ayres has surprised many critics and reviewers.
(2005) Some companies may close, others to stay open
WALL STREET -- Experts announced today that some companies will stay open and sell stocks and other companies will close down.
(2010) Masterchef "Pro" exposed as Michellin Tyred Chef
A contestant on the current series of Masterchef Professionals due to be shown tonight has been exposed as 2 Michellin Tyre owning Apple Von Creampie.
Von Creampie, who will be shown being sent home after the first round by resident Sous Wench, Mo...
(2010) Rolf Harris create new Simpson's intro
Octogenarian, Antipodean artist Rolf Harris has created a controversial title sequence for long-running US animation The Simpsons.
The intro, which was shown in the US on Sunday, opens with the Didgeridoo loving Rolf slapping paint randomly on to...
(2010) Barack Obama blamed for Tea party's underwear disaster
The Tea Party's underwear related problems continue to cause concern amongst its members, as it was announced today that Sarah Palin had accidentally put her panties on inside out.
This incident is only the latest in a string of underwear problems...
(2010) New Peril for Chilean Miners
The ordeal of the thirty three Chilean miners trapped underground for over two months is not yet over. There is the journey to the surface and the dangers involved with that but another peril, unreported for some reason, is the media frenzy that awai...
(2007) Dalton McGuinty Declared Provincial Leader by Electorate, "Assface" by Opposition
Ottawa, Ontario - Following last night's Ontario provincial election, Dalton McGuinty made history as he took the Liberal party to their first back-to-back majority in over 70 years.
(2005) Greenspan Celebrates 143rd Birthday
Alan Greenspan took a quick break Wednesday from his extremely boring job as Chairman of the Federal Reserve to celebrate his 143rd birthday with his family and co-workers. Greenspan, who was born the year Abraham Lincoln became president, gave brie...
(2010) Gay Man Announces Plan to Adopt Handsome Young Boy
Gay man Larry Sabu, 20, says the time has come for him to become a family man. He tells us that he is on the look out for a troubled cute teenage boy - preferably from Texas - to raise as his own.
"I want to take him out to all the teenage gay clu...
(2008) Crack Recycling Programme for London
The Government have announced new measures to raise extra funding for the Metropolitan Police. The move has been endorsed by the Mayoral appointed New Chief Constable Lord Jeffery Archer.
During the past year Crack Cocaine with a street value of a...
(2008) What McCain Did For A Klondike Bar
What would you do for a Klondike bar? Senator John McCain gave away any hope for the Presidency when he selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. It must be hitting him just about now like a load of blue ice falling from the sky.
(2008) Aliens knab Obama: now for McCain says leader
In astonishing scenes in Washington today, Presidential candidate Barack Obama was kidnapped by alien beings from outer space.
Obama was holding a open air address when the alien spacecraft suddenly appeared and proceeded to remove the Senate mem...
(2008) Republicans Release Photos of Obama Orgy with Ayers, Rev Wright and Tony Resko!
Rove mudslingers, yellow journalists and muck-manufacturers have released lurid photographs from a reputed orgy at the Obama chicago mansion showing Barry and Michelle O in flagrante delicto with the triple axis of evil, the triad that makes Democrat...
(2009) Distraction in Dnipropetrovsk: Erin Andrews Forgets to Turn Off Helmet Cam During Locker Room Shower Interviews!
Dnipropetrousk/Ukraine - US soccer fans got more than they bargained for last night as striking Peep Hole Princess, Erin Andrews, new ESPN late night soccer co anchor, forgot to turn her helmet cam off following England's shocking 1-0 loss on a bloo...
(2008) Lots of Pretty Flowers at Ernest Keats Funeral
The Paducah Sun - Although Ernest Keats was a reasonably beloved member of at least half of his family, the floral arrangements at his Friday funeral service dominated conversation during the post-funeral all-you-can-eat buffet luncheon at the home...
(2007) Fayed demands Diana exhumation
Royal Courts of Justice, London - (Conspiracy Mess): A frantic Mohammed Fayed has demanded that the coroner conducting an inquest into Princess Diana's death orders her immediate exhumation.
(2007) Study shows: Grape Eaters May Die
A landmark study by the Association of National Medical Doctors, in conjunction with the the medical journal "The Syringe," says grape eaters face a higher risk of death.
(2005) Covering Up The Ugliness In New Orleans
Washington, Louisiana, Kansas and the Emerald City, Oz---In another cynical effort to reduce his political problems, incumbent President George W. Bush has approved a top secret plan to not only erase New Orleans from its current location, but also m...
(2011) Atheist fundamentalists claim religious discrimination!
Children's author, evolution crackpot and atheist fundamentalist Richard Dawkins has been given the cold shoulder by the Wyndgate Country Club in Rochester Hills, Michigan. The club wants nothing to do with Dawkins atheist dogma and has cancelled the...
Showing page 3 (of 8 pages)
News From DC
The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.
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