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Spoof news events on this day in history
Showing page 2 (of 7 pages)
(2009) Obama Receives Sainthood, Knighthood and VMA
US President Barack Obama has been awarded a sainthood, a British knighthood and an MTV Video Music Award in addition to the Nobel Peace Prize he received earlier today.
The series of moves have surprised political commentators, considering he is...
(2009) Skull 'N' Bones testicle tattoo clue to Dallas flasher
Dallarse, Texas - (Vas Deference): "He looks sorta familiar in a ghoulish, asshole kinda way," Highlands Lake resident Mrs Fanny Redneck said today.
"That tattoo on his scrotum. Is it some sort of sorority barcode?"
Other residents whose backy...
(2007) British Sporting Victories Predicted For 2012 Olympics
Britain's failure to achieve consistent international sporting success may be transformed into victory by 2012, the Ministry of Sport announced today.
(2009) Jon Gosselin Broke - Gave Twins Sno Balls® and Bubble Wrap® for their Birthday
TLC® reality TV dad Jon Gosselin brought bags of gifts and a big cake box from the upscale Cupcake Café® to his twin's 9th birthday party, incurring the wrath of his estranged wife, who wanted to keep the celebration simple. Or was that it? "...
(2010) Queen to face budget cuts
As the UK braces itself for the onslaught of government austerity measures, the Queen has been told to expect a reduction in her budget of 25%. The main targets for reduced expenditure are likely to be travel and the upkeep of the royal palaces.
I...
(2007) Al Gore trumps Christopher Columbus
Al Gore's most recent unauthorized biography "I Invented That" claims Al Gore not only invented the Internet but also invented North America long before Christopher Columbus discovered it.
(2010) H&R Block Finds New Way To Overcharge Clients in the Off-Season Via H&R Block Bank Products.
H&R Block Bank, with over 1 branch worldwide, is offering ridiculously low rates on money market accounts and CDs, in a new bid to fill their coffers with ill-gotten gains in those months when thousands of H&R Block offices are used as dust-c...
(2007) Posh Spice Muscles Onto Diana Inquest Jury
There was a surprise new contestant in the Princess Diana Competition yesterday, when Victoria Beckham, wife of the American footballer David, joined the jury.
Beckham, real name Posh Spice, visited the crash site in Paris where Diana and her rich...
(2007) Olympic Gold Medal for Eddie The Eagle
Eddie the Eagle Edwards thought the International Olympic Committee (IOC) were taking the piste when he was informed that he was to be awarded the Gold Medal for his efforts in the 1988 Calgary Games.
(2008) Palin Admits to Affair; Bigfoot Confirms
Senator John Mccain's running mate, Governor Sara Palin, recently confessed to bloggers that she in fact had cheated on her husband on several occasions. When asked to identify her lover, she first cleared her throat, then named Bigfoot.
Surprisi...
(2009) The Moon Vows Retaliation for Missile Attack
The Moon alarmed the people of Earth today and threatened retaliation for the bombing of its southern pole this week. In a message beamed live to all major news stations across the globe, an obviously angry alien figure shook its fist at the camera a...
(2010) Old man asks local library for a face book
In local news, an old man has befuddled the local library by requesting a book about face, "I have been reading about it a lot in the paper recently" said the perplexed pensioner "I don't really know what a face book is, but what with that new film o...
(2008) MFI Lose Laptop
In an embarrassing leaked memo from the British furniture superstore giants, it has emerged that a laptop containing detailed plans of a kitchen for the Jenkins's extension has been left on a train.
"Nobody else will be able to use the data on the...
(2012) Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving and Christmas specials will air on TLC
ATLANTA (ABSNN) - Alana Thompson (Honey Boo Boo) and her mother June Shannon (Fat Demonic Hell Pig) are the stars of TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras. They visited a television station in Atlanta, the home of The Learning Channel, to discuss their upcoming...
(2009) Black NFL super stars say they'll walk if Limbaugh buys the Rams
ST LOUIS, MO -- (ABSNN) Several current members of the St. Louis Rams football organization told ABSNN that "they would all walk if Rush Limbaugh buys the Rams."
All the players threatening to walk were African-American, and claimed "they could n...
(2008) UK declares war on Iceland
Prime minister Gordon Brown has announced a declaration of war on supermarket chain Iceland.
Advertising figurehead Kerry Katona has also been placed under house arrest under suspicion of treason.
Mr Brown commented:
"Due to current global f...
(2008) Camilla Says Charles Is A 'Tosser'
London-- "That Charles is a silly tosser and both the boys are complete wankers!" said Camilla in a shocking interview with the BBBBC today. The Duchess of Cornwall was commenting on her marriage to Charles and wanted to express her disappointment ab...
(2008) John Terry Forced To Retire Through Injury - Claim
There was shock and horror in the England training camp this morning when it was revealed that Chelsea captain John Terry may be forced into early retirement from international and top flight football through injury.
Terry, who is also the nationa...
(2010) LeSean McCoy to Start for Eagles Against 49ers: "Thank God, because I'm sure I'll suck," said Kevin Kolb.
To everyone's surprise, Michael Vick being ruled out as playing on Sunday against the 49ers doesn't mean that there will be no one available that can actually gain yards: Running back LeSean McCoy, who was expected to miss time with a broken rib, is...
(2009) Barack Obama Wins the Nobel Peace Prize
The Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Barack Obama, President of the United States. The announcement was greeting with questioning and concern around the world as people did not understand how he helped to bring peace anywhere.
After a quick inter...
(2007) Jeremy Kyle's Family ask for a DNA Test
Sanctimonious Git Jeremy Kyle's family have all asked for a DNA test, to prove whether or not the Human Bear Baiter is a family member, or simply a bloke that they know.
(2007) Jade Goody says outer Space is rubbish
Television geography disaster Jade Goody is set to do for the space race what she did for race relations.
Showing page 2 (of 7 pages)
Sherlock Actor Investigates Cast
Benedict Cumberbatch drilled the Star Trek cast and successfully deduced that his stolen peanut butter and jelly sandwich was taken by Zachary Quinto.
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