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Spoof news events on this day in history
Showing page 2 (of 18 pages)
(2006) Alan Greenspan Interred With Full Honors by Ben Bernanke
WASHINGTON (AP)-Outgoing Chairman of the US Federal Reserve Alan Greenspan was interred with full honors in a special mausoleum on the grounds of the Federal Reserve here on Wednesday.
(2010) Andy Irons Uses Methadone and Ambien to Sleep. Forever. (REVISED)
Supersurfer Andy Irons, who won 614 championships in a sport no one cares about, was treating insomnia with Methadone and Ambien, with fantastic results: In fact, he'll never wake up again.
Irons, who died yesterday at age 32, was also battling De...
(2007) US Vows To Kill All Penguins - "They just look like they're planning something all the time," Says Bush
Washington DC - President Bush announced today that he would make an even bolder move in the fight against terrorism by killing "every penguin everywhere on this planet."...
(2011) Battle fatigued Fernando Torres leaves 'Anfieldgrad'
This is 'Anfieldgrad' on the banks of the River Mersey. We are surrounded by opposing forces and cut off from humanity.
On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson were suffering the fiercest cold Winter and Von Hodgson took a walk down the M62 ALONE with...
(2007) Peyton Manning Pledges to Be in Even More Commercials if Colts Win Super Bowl
Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning, a regular in television commercials for products ranging from Sprint to MasterCard, said during his Super Bowl media day interview that he looks forward to doing even more commercials if the Colts win.
(2007) Carol Vorderman Doesn't Throw Her Clothes Away Very Often
Carol Vorderman, the 'letters girl' from the crap TV game show Countdown, made history yesterday when, for the 25th Anniversary of the show, she wore the same pair of brown suedette trousers...
(2007) Jade Goody's vagina says 'I am not a racist but Jade is'
The vagina of Jade Goody has spoken to journalists for the first time and has sensationally claimed, "I am not a racist but Jade is."...
(2007) Jamie Oliver claims healthy food is UNHEALTHY
In a remarkable change of heart celebrity chef and school dinner campaigner, Jamie Oliver, admits that healthy food can seriously damage your heath.
(2007) Comet 17P/Holmes Puts on Spectacular Show
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - Comet 17P/Holmes has been putting on a spectacular show. The comet is currently located in Perseus in the northeast sky at night and is shinning at about 3rd magnitude.
(2006) Chicago High School Shootings Prompt New R.O.T.C. Program
(AP) News item out of Chicago: Three high school students from Chicago's Northwest Side are shot near Schurz High about 7:52 a.m. on January 31, 2006. Police spokesman Fred Fletfoote reported that the shooting took place outside a convenience store a...
(2007) Britney Spears and Michael Jackson To Co-write Parenting Book
(New York--NY) The Time-Warner center was packed with journalists as Time-Warner CEO Richard Parsons, no relation to Alan, announced, with both Britney "You know what I'm packin' down under" Spears and the quickly jetted in Michael...
(2007) Schoolyard penis aerial-shot smashes Hubble camera
Southampton, UK - (Rioters): A giant penis etched in 2005 with weedkiller on the lawn of a boys' secondary school has accidentally tripped the US Department of Homeland Insecurity's pornography surveillance filters aboard the giant Hubble telescope,...
(2007) Muff Diving to be Olympic Event In '08
Olympic officials have announced that Muff Diving will be included for the first time in the 2008 Olympics in Bejing. Guiseppe Puseatero, leading advocate for the sport since the Rome games of 1960, was overjoyed: "Finally those narrow-minded am...
(2007) Paris Hilton's Halloween Porn Shopping Spree
Paris Hilton donning a Scream mask and skeleton suit entered a Canadian porn shop during the Halloween festivities last week approached the counter and demanded the shop take down her likeness, a cardboard cutout of her obviously advertising One Nigh...
(2007) CBB Danielle Trumped!
Danielle Lloyd, known globally for sullying the air of Channel 4's Celebrity Big Brother, has been dumped by her former model agencies!...
(2009) Dannii Minogue - Why I Stripped Barenaked Explained
Dannii Minogue explained yesterday to anybody who was prepared to listen, the reason why she stripped bare naked without clothes for the Aussie version of Playboy magazine.
For the thousandth time.
The X-Factor judge and mentor told us (again):...
(2009) Jedwardgate - John And Edward In X-Factor Vote Rigging Furore
X-Factor twins John and Edward have found themselves caught up in a scandal known as Jedwardgate.
Suspicion that all might not be as it seems with the vertical haired Irish twins has been simmering for weeks. Many commentators have suggested that...
(2010) Ugly Betty's Beautiful Body In Final Episode!
Ugly Betty star America Ferrera, is rumored to show that the body of Ugly Betty ain't ugly a tall!
The rumor going around television land that there is going to be a big surprise in the final episode as the show goes off the air this year.
"Ugl...
(2005) Construction Worker Gets Burned Twice
Gary Stokes, 44, and a crane operator for the Mainstreet Construction Company located in Sioux City,Iowa, recieved first and second degree burns while on the job building the new Peter Thoreen Berevement Center next to St. Lukes Regional Medical Cent...
(2007) BBC Unveils Strictly Naked Come Dancing Xmas Special
BBC TV Center, London - (Ass Mess): The Xmas TV ratings war has kicked off early with the BBC unveiling a strippers' version of its flagship moron programme Strictly Come Dancing.
(2008) Micky Horswill Arrested for Being Ugly
Former Sunderland and Man City midfielder Mick Horswill has been arrested and remanded in custody tonight in Sunderland for 'just being too fucking ugly'...
(2008) "Global Cooling" Identified as Part of Global Warming
Dr. E. L. Charmagny of the Indiana Institute for Science positively identified cooler temperatures as part of global warming.
Showing page 2 (of 18 pages)
Nation Mourns Death of Serial Killer
"There's nothing on television, rotten movies, sex has gotten boring, tired of seeing youth with rings through their digits!", admits several at Jim's Bar & Girl.
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