Spoof news events on this day in history
(2010) Mystery of Chaplin mobile solved
Those who were excited by the discovery of a "time traveller" talking on a mobile phone in a clip from a 1928 Charlie Chaplin movie will be massively disappointed to hear that a plausible explanation has been put forward to explain the phenomenon.Read full story
(2006) Young Boy Marooned After Hit and Run Bicycle Accident
A local 4th grader was found alone early this afternoon in an abandoned winery north of Castle Rock. Little Scotty Parker was famished when he was located by police, who had been searching all night for the boy.Read full story
(2008) Russell Brand's 'Booky Looky Wook' is toilet paper alternative says council!
Russell Brand's Booky Looky Kooky Wook will be used, as both reading material and toilet paper by Bottywotty Council, in the West Midlands. Local Councillor Arthur Askey said "We found toilet paper for our public conveniences a bit pricey. Then s...Read full story
(2007) Iran Buys Stolen Yellow Cake from China
Los Alamos, N.M. - Inside sources at the Pentagon say that Iran is now even closer to realizing their dream of becoming a world power. Chinese spies stole many secrets during the Clinton administration and now they are selling them. Iran has just p...Read full story
(2005) Collector Pays $690,000 For Decidedly Not Sexy Escort
LAS VEGAS - A Houston multi-millionaire who appears to have lost his mind, or at least parts thereof, paid $690,000 at the Kruse auction for an escort. Not the exciting and speedy Anna Nicole Smith variety pictured above, but a 1975 Ford GL version,...Read full story
(2007) Max Clifford to represent Oscar the Grouch and the Cookie Monster following Smoking scandal
Lovable cartoon character Max Clifford is set to represent Oscar the Grouch and the Cookie Monster from famed TV documentary Sesaeme Street, following their recent smoking scandal.Read full story
(2010) Take That Split
After announcing record breaking ticket sales for their forthcoming tour, Take That have shocked fans by deciding to break up. 'We couldn't go on anymore' said Gary Barlow at a press conference today, 'we thought it would be like the old days. You...Read full story
(2007) My New song is the worst thing you ever heard, says Mariah Carey
Songstress Mariah Carey, famed for her 39 Octave singing range has made the bold statement 'My song is the worst thing you have ever heard'.Read full story
(2006) Producers hail 'ultimate reality show'
ITV chiefs have hailed their discovery of what they claim will be the ultimate reality show.Read full story
(2008) Chevron posts $20bn third quarter profit, stalks ConocoPhilips takeover
San Ramon, Ca - (Ass Mess): Chevron, the world's third largest hydrocarbons supermajor, has posted a $20 billion third-quarter profit and is poised to swoop on ConocoPhillips in a $500 billion merger to be announced in the New Year. 2008 profits a...Read full story
(2012) Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, claims world whipping record!
An infamous ageing Dominatrix in Frankfurt, Germany, has been entered into the Guiness book of records after beating the world's whipping record by fifty lashes and then she dropped dead! The previous record was 500000 lashes in 5 days held by US...Read full story
(2007) Playing cards, a biological weapon?
ST PETERSBURG, FL.- A Florida man was found dead Monday morning with his arm infected and rotting from a staff infection. Forensics report that this is a game of solitaire gone horribly wrong.Read full story
(2008) Wales Sign Rooney
Wayne Rooney, the overhyped, overrated England striker has controversially signed for Wales and will now play for the Welsh national team. His transfer from England to Wales is unheard of in international football and comes at a time when his form...Read full story
(2007) Controversial Show Sparks Tyneside Fury
Tyneside auditions for the next series of controversial Channel 4 reality show Big Brother were plunged into yet more controversy as police were called to deal with alleged racism.Read full story
(2009) Lance Armstrong May Have To Return Tour De France Medals
American biker Lance Armstrong may have to return his seven Tour De France medals after an exam indicated that he was in the same field as South African runner, Caster Semenya. "That's crazy", Armstrong told officials after agreeing to an exam for...Read full story
(2007) "We Are Winning The War On Internet Piracy"
DULUTH - A lawyer speaking on behalf of the music industry celebrated ecstatically after a key victory in the battle against internet piracy.Read full story
(2011) Scarlett Johansson the most beautiful woman in the world
For centuries humankind has been asking who the most beautiful woman in the world could be. Some have said it's Aretha Franklin, Macy Gray, Maya Angelo and even Susan Boyle. Based on internet polls it appears she has been found. She holds the cur...Read full story
(2007) Now More Foreigners Than Brits In UK
Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has said in a statement in the Commons that there are many more dirty filthy foreigners living in the UK, than there are fine upstanding pure white Anglo Saxons, says a bl...Read full story
(2006) Kenny Rogers Lets It All Hang Out
Busch Stadium, St. Louee Loueye, Oh. Woe. - Detroit Tiger pitcher Kenny Rogers has been sent to the showers earlier than he wanted when the St. Louis Cardinals beat his team-mates four games to one.Read full story
(2006) International Space Station Crew Chastised for 'Messing Around'
Miles High -- Today, the three-man crew of ISS was severely chastised for juvenile behavior, complete with threats by Houston to send "adults up there in about one minute."...Read full story
(2007) Ron Paul Has The Support Of Klaatu For President
(ISWIRE News) - In a special interview with ISWIRE News, Professor Barnhard has informed us that there was a secret meeting yesterday between Mrs Helen Benson and Ron Paul concerning an important message she had just received from her friend Klaatu.Read full story
(2005) CIA Trick (or Treat) for Pretender's Halloweeen visit
Lower Manhattan, NY; Sunday 30 October 2005 (Associated Mess) New York City is abuzz with rumors that the imminent Riggs Bank-sponsored Halloween visit of Charles, the UK Pretender to the Throne and his long-time alibi Camilla Nosy-Parker is destin...Read full story