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Spoof news events on this day in history
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(2008) Miley's Revenge for Nick
The rumors of a relationship between Nick Jonas and Miley Cyrus have been confirmed, and we finally know why they have been keeping it a secret all this time.
(2008) Zac Efron Comes Out of the Closet
When Zac Efron heard about Heath Ledger's death, he was practically in tears. "I really looked up to him, not only as an actor, but as a man," the High School Musical star admits.
(2010) Adam Lambert Admits He Had Penis Enlargement Surgery
Reigning American Idol Runner-Up and all around gay guy Adam Lambert admitted to reporters that he had elective surgery on his recent concert tour of Southeast Asia. "When I stopped off in Bangkok, Thailand, I decided to take advantage of their medi...
(2008) Ron Paul Quits
Ron Paul, the Republican presidential candidate, announced today that he's withdrawing from the race. The announcement sparked a blizzard of news coverage far greater than any coverage of Paul's campaign efforts. Paul denied that he will run...
(2004) King Kong remake stalled over penis dispute
Renowned director Steven Spielberg's remake of the 1933 cult monster classic ‘King Kong' has stalled in the pre-production phase, in a row over whether the giant ape should have a visible 10-foot penis.
(2009) English GCSE to allow text speak
In an effort to encourage more children to take their GCSE English exam, the JMB have announced that they will now allow fifteen and sixteen year old children to submit their papers in TxtSpk.
It has been widely acknowledged that the literacy of t...
(2010) Taylor Swift Admits To Mastectomy As First Part of Sex Change, But Said Nobody Noticed
Country Music singer Taylor Swift has admitted that frustration over her breakup with boyfriend Taylor Lautner caused her to take what she now considers radical steps. Upset with her body, the young woman says that she strongly considered a sex chan...
(2008) CIA: Opus Dei bankrolling Scientology power hackers
Langley, West Va - (AssoCIAted Mess): Spooks at the President George Herbert Bush Center for Intelligence (sic) HQ of the CIA have said that rogue Scientology computer hackers have been bankrolled by Opus Dei to hack into power companies and blackmai...
(2009) Malaysian Woman Smuggles Heroin Under Boobs
Australia has charged a big busted Malaysian woman with attempting to smuggle heroin into Melbourne by hiding the drugs under her boobs.
Officials of the Customs Department say they suspected the woman may have been carrying drugs when she arrived...
(2008) 'Abhishek firing blanks' says Aishwarya, blaming dodgy astrologers for pregnancy hopes
Bollywood - (Reuterus & Ass Mess): Bollywood movie queen Aishwarya Rai has vented her fury on dodgy wedding astrologers who drew up her marriage chart nine months ago predicting superstud husband Abhishek Bachchan would impregnate her with twin girls...
(2007) Celebrity Big Brother Jo Breaks Smoking Record
Celebrity Big Brother housemate Jo O'Meara has wormed her way into the hearts of TV viewers - and into the Guinness Book Of Records!...
(2010) Cheryl Cole Wins SeX Factor's Galaxy Class Ass Contest; Passes Kate Beckensale for Most Beautiful Woman Awards
The ever attractive and multi-talented Cheryl "Tweety" Cole has rocketed to fabulous fame and fortune time and time again over the last four years and has done it yet again, winning SeX Factor's Contest for the Best Galaxy Class Ass.
The Dynamic D...
(2006) Pope Benedict XVI To Change Name To Pope Jesus
The Pope has announced he will change his name after admitting that his current title "Benedict XVI" just isn't "catchy enough to make an impression on the world stage". He now wishes to be addressed instead as "His Holin...
(2004) George Bush not one of ours claims God
In a shocking development today God has broken almost 2000 years of silence to deny claims that George W Bush is fighting the good fight.
(2005) Nicollette Sheridan Says Owens Ready for Super Bowl
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. - Although Terrell Owens' doctor said Owens' injured right ankle isn't strong enough to withstand the rigors of Super Bowl play, actress Nicollette Sheridan says otherwise. Sheridan, star of ABC's "Desperate Housewives," told Sport...
(2009) Obama Annoyed by Oprah, Palin, Blago Scandal
CHICAGO, IL. - Some were surprised when embattled Illinois governer Rod Blagojevich revealed he had considered Oprah Winfrey for the vacant Senate position. Now, authorities have learned Oprah Winfrey planned to use her influence to help propel Rod...
(2007) Jade's Making a Mint
It couldn't get any worse you may have been thinking? However a source has revealed a new turn in the grubby fate of Ms. Goody.
(2004) Life Discovered On Mars
Scientists controlling NASA's "Spirit" Rover on Mars have announced that conclusive evidence of a primitive lifeform has been found. The red planet is being investigated by two separate rovers, Spirit and Opportunity. It is the former R...
(2010) Barack Obama's birth certificate found under Haiti palace rubble
Port-Au-Prince - (Gonads): UN disaster workers have unearthed Barack Obama's original birth certificate in the ruins of Haiti's presidential palace.
His DNA mother Mary Jo Kopechne fled there to give birth after the baby's father, the Reverend Jes...
(2007) Shoes, Hat, Bra,Thong - The New Tattletale!
According to respected Japanese scientists, I.M.Watchinu, the Global Positioning System (GPS) technology now found in phones and watches is "flawed". The problem being, in Watchinu's mind, is that mobile phones and watches can be easily...
(2006) Soviet cold war weapons discovered
Shocking new evidence has appeared in the recent "ortherised" American search of old Soviet missile bunkers that the Soviet union was going to unleash a terrifying wave of "Dogkets" (seen in picture) on any ground forces that happ...
(2007) Is Britney's New Boyfriend a Clone of Kevin?
Britney Spears recent break-up with hubbie Kevin Federline has been hot news in the last new weeks. But new pictures of Brit's new boyfriend have caused more gossip than ever before.
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News From DC
The proposed new immigration bill is more than a thousand pages long. Foes plan to write a 2,000 page alternative. If anyone ever tries to write one on a filibuster, it should be finished by 2099.
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