Spoof news events on this day in history
(2009) Chickens Come Home to Roost at White House, Then Disappear: Voodoo or Frogmore Stew?
Washington,DC/ Cooking with Emeril/ BAM/BAM! - An unholy host of czars and other big time DEMS have been caught on TV mouthing absolute bizarre rants, and their antics have opened Pandora's Hen House and , as Rev. Wright once said, "them chickens are...Read full story
(2010) Weapons of Mass Distraction: Big, Long & Ready To Blow
THE HAGUE - Due to the quick-draw popularity of Iran's recently unveiled unmanned drone bomber aircraft - the so-called "Ambassador Of Death" (for no other reason than apparently because "Semi-Big Thing That Will Blow Up Near Where You Live" was alre...Read full story
(2010) Wayne Rooney Shags Own Grandma?
Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has crashed into the headlines once more this morning after it was revealed that the woman with whom he has been carrying on a passionate extra-marital affair was his very own grandma. Rooney, a 'vital cog' i...Read full story
(2009) San Andreas Fault Identified as 'crack in nation's ass' to Disappear from Earth Dec.21, 2012!
Los Angeles,Ca/ Doomsday News - In yet another apocalyptic scenario, the History Channel reported last night that the end is near for most of California and the nation's butt crack is doomed to slide off into the pacific. Weather channel minister...Read full story
(2006) Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle
Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...Read full story
(2007) Local mother so overweight, when she turns around it "sounds like a truck backing up"
Your Town - Your Mom, a local mother of you, has been reported as being so overweight that when she turns around eyewitnesses report that the accompanying sound resembles "a truck backing up".Read full story
(2008) Blind Boy suspended from School for wearing wrong trousers
Harry Dick, blind boy born to a dwarf, transvestite, one-legged father and an eczyma ridden, hump-backed, jail-brid father (not a typo) has been suspended from his Special School for the Blind for turning up to his Parentcraft lesson wearing banana...Read full story
(2010) Fossil of "Missing Link" Between Humans and Apes Found with Darwin's Possessions!
For years, Darwin's theories involving humans and apes, and whether or not both shared a common ancestor, was always lacking definitive proof in the form of fossilized remains of the theorized creature. That issue exists no more: a complete fossil...Read full story
(2006) Barney, First Dog, Terrier Stricken
Washington, DC - The administration will crank up its war on terrier at the behest of Barney, the presidential Scottie, who has disavowed his terrier heritage, his "terriosity," as Tony Snow (former Pit Bull terrier, now claiming to be a Whippet houn...Read full story
(2010) London Hit by Pube Chaos
The announcement yesterday of the end of the week-long action by members of the Razor Retailers Union created chaos in London as it coincided with last night's tube strike. Thousands irritated by the recent scarcity of razors left work early to...Read full story
(2009) Prince Harry Turns To TV Hypnotist
Prince Harry has turned to TV hypnotist Paul McConya in a last-ditch bid to break what a pal describes as "a life-long addiction". "For some years now, and indeed since I first met him at Eton, Harry has loved a fag," said long-time chum and regim...Read full story
(2009) Blockbuster Trade: Team Obama Sends 'Green Czar' Van Jones to Team Venezuela for 2 Community Organizers to Be Named Later Plus Cash!
Caracas, Venezuela/ Futbol News - Team Venezuela Owner, Coach and Manager Hugo Chavez is said to be exuberant today after acquiring the services of multi-talented rabble rouser and shit stirrer, Van Jones after Jones was finally expelled on multiple...Read full story
(2012) Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry Console Each Other
LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry and Rob Pattinson both know how horrible the ending of a Tinsel Town relationship can be. Both celebrities have riches, fame, material things, and the adulation of millions of their fans but both are as they say in Paramus...Read full story
(2009) Jeremy Clarkson Disappearance: Mystery Solved
A full scale search was mounted by police yesterday following a report that broadcaster, journalist and self-obsessed lunatic Jeremy Clarkson had gone missing whilst filming a new series of motoring programme, 'Top Drear'. Half a dozen motoring af...Read full story
(2011) Green Food Color in Gas Doubles Exxon Market Share
Capitalizing on the huge amount of publicity given to "green energy", oil giant Exxon has doubled its market share by using food dye to physically color its gasoline green. The move has been accompanied by a fanfare of publicity around Exxon's "Cl...Read full story
(2009) Ecuadorian Judge Steps Down, Sticks It to Big Oil
QUITO, Ecuador - A tree-hugging judge presiding over a $27 billion environmental lawsuit against Chevroil recused himself from the case Friday to allow legal proceedings to continue uninterrupted, said Ecuadorian officials. Earlier this week, Che...Read full story
(2008) New craze hits the UK as a result of the Exorcist
First it was break-dancing, then moon-walking, then rapping, then knife crime, but now, the new craze from Harlem is "neck rotation". According to a report issued today by AMEY, the Association of American Ethinc Youth, youngsters are turning thei...Read full story
(2008) Prime Minister Abolishes Poverty In The UK
An ebuliant Gordon Brown was delighted to reveal that poverty had been abolished. In a speech to the Institute of Getting Paid Loads of Money for Not Doing Anything Usefull Ever he said."I have managed to come to an agreement with the makers of di...Read full story
(2012) Man Crashes Car into Food Stand at Airport Concourse
A Miami, Florida man smashed his car into an Einstein Brothers food stand on the second floor concourse of the Miami International Airport while parallel parking between a set of stationary tables. Fortunately there were no casualties except for the...Read full story
(2010) Hurricane Earl causes chaos in the UK
Hurricane Earl, the Atlantic storm system has caused chaos across the Atlantic in the UK. The West Coast of the UK has been battered by wind speeds of up to sixty miles an hour dislodging roof tiles and blowing over cones on the M6. It was the lat...Read full story
(2009) Obama stages his very own My Pet Goat moment
Washington AC/DC - (9/11 Mess): "If it worked for Dubya it sure as hell will work for me!" That's how President Barack Obama described Tuesday's televised schools' address in a maneuver modelled largely on George W Bush's 9/11 storybook reading at...Read full story
(2010) Miley Cyrus Moons Reporters Before They Can React
After all the recent articles about Miley Cyrus that are sex oriented, the young actress and singer got the best of some reporters she saw waiting outside a club to catch some Hollywood types that were inside. So they were caught at just the right...Read full story