Spoof news events on this day in history
(2011) "He tried to bite me" - Teenage girl's horror as date with vampire goes wrong
Leesa, 16, of Alabama today told of her shock when a date with a vampire almost ended in disaster. "I thought he would write poetry and say really deep things" she sobbed "but he wasn't like that at all. Then he got all fangy and tried to bite me...Read full story
(2005) Space Kiddies Beware! Michael Jackson Has Designs on YOU!
NEVERLAND-Recently acquitted of child molestation charges, pop icon and maximum weirdo Michael Jackson has set his sexual sights on outer space, hoping to lure alien kiddies to his ‘just for fun' den of iniquity, i.e. his space age ‘sleepover stopove...Read full story
(2007) Ron Paul Opposes GOP Iraq War Puppets
DURHAM (FMLiveWire) - Republican presidential puppets supported the war to grab Iraq oil on Wednesday night at a University of New Hampshire debate, while anti-war candidate Ron Paul warned that they will drag the party to defeat in the 2008 election...Read full story
(2007) Monks Get Shirty In Burma
Monks at a monastery in Burma have attacked and frightened twenty security officials who were trying to get some much needed rest after taking part in a jungle operation to quell anti-government forc...Read full story
(2008) Gordon Ramsay says "pah" to supermarket's "feed family for a fiver"
Gordon Ramsay has pooh-poohed one of the big four supermarkets over its recent "feed your family for a fiver" promotion. The supermarket claims that for five pounds you can buy some sausages, sweet potatatos, brocolli and make a right mixture to f...Read full story
(2009) White Sharks Gather off Cape Cod on Rumours Kennedy to Be Buried at Sea!
Chatham,Ma/ Woods Hole Oceanographic News - In a final lifting of his middle finger to the constituents that paid his way for over 55 years, deceased Senator Edward M. Kennedy had one parting shot to ruin labor day for millions on Cape Cod. Report...Read full story
(2010) "Next cue card, Cholo!" Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer Has Stroke During Debate; Not Really Ready For This "'Remembering Important Things' Thing."
Supporters of Arizona Governor Jan Brewer are saddened this morning over reports that she actually suffered a series of debilitating strokes during the Gubernatorial debate yesterday. "It was obvious that she was in a lot of trouble early on," sai...Read full story
(2005) Martha Stewart---Dishing After Her Camp Fed Vacation
NBCLand-Crafty domestic arts maven Martha Stewart, in a calculated bid to free herself from what she terms federal over regulation, has ripped off her parole ankle bracelet, passed it off on an assistant and taken a fast car to freedom in a desperate...Read full story
(2004) Liberal Democrats at Risk for Anxiety
From the Journal of Studies in Applied Anxiety:...Read full story
(2009) Leann Rimes with What
Freshly divorced from husband Deane Sheremet of seven years Leann Rimes was spotted with actor Kevin What in Cabo San Lucas on her birthday sparking rumours that the two are a couple. Kevin who hails from Georgia has mostly played bit parts in mo...Read full story
(2007) California utility deregulation turns deadly once again as rising death toll from heat wave climbs to 30, so far
Los Angeles, California - Mostly the elderly, people with preexisting health conditions or people who live alone have been most negatively impacted by the Southern California heat wave that has taken 30 some lives so far. Los Angeles County corner...Read full story
(2012) Clinton 'knew Monica Lewinsky is ex-Italian PM's Silvio Berlusconi's daughter' says D 'N' C consultant
Washington - A top makeover consultant hired by successive Administrations has revealed what NATO geneticists have always suspected, that former President Bill Clinton 'was 100% aware' of Monica's Italian bloodline. Dilation and curettage [D-'n'-C...Read full story
(2007) Huckabee Outed as Attack Chihuahua, Duels Ron Paul
6 Sep 07, DURHAM, NH, USNA-- At last night's CBC Republicacrat debate, Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee carried out the mission entrusted to him by CFR Straw Poll delegates this weekend. Huckabee ordered all Republicacrats to vote for President-El...Read full story
(2012) Is Kim Kardashian Pregnant With A Little Kanye?
BEVERLY HILLS - The Tinsel Town hairdresser, who is known as the Hair Stylist to The Stars, FuFi Fondue has just dropped a bombshell. Fondue, who knows more about more Hollywood starlets than anyone else in LaLaLand stated to Fajita San Guacamole...Read full story
(2008) Gary Glitter to remarry
Former glam-rock singer Gary Glitter, real name Pete O'Phile is set to remarry. Back from his recent world tour of Asian airports, the star, aged 78, is to marry his new fiancee, Daftasa Batt, a 16-year old waitress from the Dirteeolmen Bar in Phu...Read full story
(2008) Paralympics competitors face hurdles
The 13th Paralympics got underway in Beijing today with all the glitz and glamour of the main summer games. There was disquiet amongst some of the competitors though as it would appear the designers of the Birds Nest stadium had omitted to install wh...Read full story
(2009) San Francisco Peanut Butter Colonic Alert Elevated to Yellow
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The city of San Francisco has begun mobilizing for an imminent wave of peanut butter enemas on the heels of an article recently published at The Spoof, said P. Ross Tate, a city official. "San Francisco has a... Oh, I don't kno...Read full story
(2007) Heskey: "What The F**k Am I Doing In The England Squad?"
Wigan 'star' Emile Heskey has launched a blistering attack on England manager Steve McClaren, questioning the ex-Boro man's squad selection and calling for him to be sacked just days ahead of crucial Euro 2008 qualifiers.Read full story
(2007) Feds' Alaskan corruption-busting fever spreads to New Jersey
Trenton, New Jersey - (Disaster Press): The FBI's corruption and bribery busting fever has spread to New Jersey with the arrest of eleven public officials this morning including two New Jersey state assemblymen.Read full story
(2005) Las Vegas Casino to Replicate French Quarter, build a "Newer Orleans"
Las Vegas (AARP) Casino Mogul Steve Wynnwood today announced that a"French Quarter" themed casino / vacation complex in Las Vegas will likely be completed "Before the actual city is pumped dry." Claims Wynnwood "I believe...Read full story
(2007) B-52's carrying nuclear missiles over Red states by mistake; flight plan clearly called for flyover Blue states only
Washington, D.C. - It was just announced to the public that a B-52 was flown from North Dakota to Louisiana with six armed nuclear missiles on board this past August 30, each decommissioned cruise missile capable of producing a five to 115-kilotons y...Read full story
(2012) Jesus makes a surprise appearance at the Democratic National Convention
Jesus stunned politicians with a surprise appearance and a short speech at the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, North Carolina, on Wednesday afternoon. He talked about how U.S. government and politicians have to rediscover true values...Read full story