Spoof news events on this day in history
(2009) Lucy From Charlie Brown Christmas Pulls Nobel Prize From Obama
Lucy Van Pelt held President Obama's Nobel Peace Prize only a few feet from Mr. Obama but just as he reached for it, she snatched it back, causing the President to fall flat on his ass. "You blockhead! You bumped our show when you're on the TV eve...Read full story
(2006) Midgets irate about top shelf pornography
Leading midget rights activist and circus entertainer 'Leggy' O'Toole accused the Government of discrimination today in a row over top shelf pornography.Read full story
(2001) Bea Arthur Eats Crowe?
Police officials in California continue to deny rumors of Bea Arthur's eminent arrest in connection with the recent disappearance of Oscar winning actor and Hollywood heartthrob, Russell Crowe.Read full story
(2008) Santa Claus To Retire Dec. 24
For nearly 800 years, Christopher Rudolph Kringle, better known as Santa Claus, has been traveling across the globe every Christmas Eve, giving presents to all the good children and raping all the bad ones. But this year, he's retiring. For the fi...Read full story
(2009) X-Factor Winner Leaked
I have received inside information, that the winner of the X-Factor-2009, will be young Geordie crooner Joe McElderry. Several observers have remarked concerning Simon Cowell's amazing about-face regarding his own acts, Olly Murs and Danyl Johnson...Read full story
(2009) The Annual Race Between The Tortoise And The Hare- UPS Versus The Post Office
The time of year has come for the great Christmas race between the tortoise and the hare. Those who know the Aesop fable know it as a moralizing tale. In this case, it involves a total lack of morals whatsoever. This race is also symbolic- the...Read full story
(2006) Borat, Geller send in the lawyers over Cheney sperm donor smears
Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Leading Rovian ambassador and sometime Kazakh comedian Mr Borat has issued a stiff rebuke via his lawyers after press allegations in the UK that he is the sperm donor responsible for impregnating Dick Cheney's daughter...Read full story
(2012) Big glasses make wine taste better
If you want your wine to taste nice it's best to wear a big pair of glasses rather than a small monocle or nothing at all. Researchers at Spexarus University got hundreds of volunteers to wear different sizes of spectacles when tasting a range of...Read full story
(2009) Raised middle finger is now a holiday greeting
Sociologists at the University of Okoboji have determined that the meaning of a hand gesture common in North America has undergone a recent, dramatic shift. Their conclusion: raising a middle finger is now a holiday greeting. Semioticians, who stu...Read full story
(2004) Stress Free Courts Plan for England and Wales
Lord Falconer is to make sweeping changes to the judiciary across England and Wales in an attempt to reduce stress to victims and witnesses.Read full story
(2008) Vatican issues a writ: McCartney under threat
In breaking news, the Vatican has announced that it will subpoena former Beatle Paul McCartney to attend a special hearing by the Office of Orthodox Instruction (formerly the Inquisition set up originally during the Reformation). Whilst the Vatic...Read full story
(2010) Stolen snowman was kidnapped!
Mary Hinge of Kent had her Snowman stolen last week, and rang the police. Unfortunately for Mary, the police were less than sympathetic. Now it transpires that her snowman was not just stolen, but in fact, kidnapped. "I don't know weather to ri...Read full story
(2010) Kevin Keegan: "I'll just LOVE IT, if I become Newcastle Utd Manager for a THIRD time!"
St. James Park, Newcastle: The news on the Tyne, is that Kevin Keegan has made it known; "I'll just love it if I become Newcastle United Manager for a THIRD time!" Kevin Keegan was awarded £2 million (plus interest accrued) in severance claus...Read full story
(2008) Pelosi Embarrassed as Hillary Parks her Broom Next to Speaker's Personal Jumbo Jet at Dulles Airport!
Dulles International Airport/ Air Force Times - During Senator Hillary Clinton's recent appearance before Congress to request a Campaign Debt Bailout, she obviously learned what Big Three CEO's hadn't when they showed up to plead their cause in priva...Read full story
(2010) Ironic Twist as Scientology is Diagnosed as a Mental Condition
NEW YORK - Researchers at a New York university have found out that Scientology is a mental illness, ironically. Scientology is a somehow recognised religion in America (and Jedi isn't?!), exempting it from paying certain taxes, whereas in sensibl...Read full story
(2009) Rumpy Pumpy For All!
New President of Europe, Herman Van Rompuy, better known as Mr. Rumpy Pumpy, has long been known for his like of haiku, federalist super states and, of course, a bit of the old in-out. The bespectacled Belgian has often boasted of his prowess between...Read full story
(2012) Sales of Cookies and Snacks Sky Rocket in Washington State But Confusion Leaves One Dead In Washington DC
Stores across the State of Washington are reporting massive increases in the sale of cookies, potato chips, small cakes, pastries and ice cream with some grocery stores running out of supplies early this morning. Possession of up to an ounce of ma...Read full story
(2010) Today presenter James Naughtie slips up on air
Radio 4 presenter James Naughtie apologised earlier today for causing offence live on air on Monday by mispronouncing Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt's surname. Naughtie inadvertently used the first letter of the Culture Secretary's title to replace th...Read full story
(2010) Republic Of Kenya Revokes President Obama's Passport
Tiring of President Barack Obama's denials of being born in Kenya, the Republic of Kenya today issued a statement that it has officially revoked the passport and visa of "former" citizen, Barack Hussein Obama. With this statement, which is accom...Read full story
(2001) Manager "Bright tailed and Bushy eyed"
A senior management executive is celebrating today after finally being able to comb his eyebrows upwards.Read full story
(2006) The Art of Striptease
Oslo - (Ass. Mess): It took five senior Norwegian Appeals judges approximately one hundred hours each of in-situ evidence taking to decide that striptease is an art-form and thus zero-rated for taxation purposes.Read full story
(2010) Balotelli Blasts "Money Hungry" City Team-mates
Italian international Mario Balotelli has sensationally blasted his Manchester City team mates. The self proclaimed "bad boy" claims that too many of his City team mates are at Eastlands for the wrong reasons, and he's definitely not one of them.Read full story