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10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41439.5513194#1#595659

The Reason Illegal Aliens Are Staying Away

The U.S. Border Patrol stated the influx of illegal aliens is down by 17 percent. They say it's because illegal aliens do not want to come to a country that listens in on your phone conversations.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41439.5509375#2#671230

The Twittering Omarosa

The woman that Donald Trump made famous, Omarosa, has announced that her Twitter followers number has just gone up to 3.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41439.5505208#3#33151

Mick Jagger Can Still Rock 'n Roll Like The Youngsters

Rolling Stones lead singer Mick Jagger who is 68, proudly boasted that he has groupies between the ages of 21 and 71.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41439.5496412#4#648665

Governor Chris Christie's Amazing Weight Goal

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says that regarding his diet, he wants to get to the point where people start saying that he looks anorexic.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41439.5489236#5#502544

The Big Change At Homeland Security

The government in a move to be more politically correct is considering changing the name of Homeland Security to Homeland Semi-Security.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41436.0951042#6#145728

NASA Wants The Moonsuit Back

NASA has said that the person who stole Neil Armstrong's moon spacesuit can return it no questions asked...well maybe just one or seven.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41436.0947454#7#37122

Arizona's Sheriff Joe Arpaio Heading Down Mexico Way

The self-proclaimed toughest sheriff in America, Joe "Pinky" Arpaio says he may move to Mexico in order to eliminate the middle man.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41436.0943981#8#912971

Mitt Romney Flip Flops and Said He's Glad He Lost

Mitt Romney has stated that upon reflection he is glad he lost the 2012 presidential election. He pointed out that he does not think that he could have taken all of the Mormon jokes.

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41436.0941204#9#511797

Liberace Had A Secondary Instrument

It is being reported that famed pianist Liberace, who was ten times gayer than Clay Aiken, was also very good on the mouth organ (harmonica).

10#1516#Abel Rodriguez#41436.0938194#10#1014959

French Lick, Indiana Gives Some Lip Service

The city of French Lick, Indiana has just issued a directive that prohibits any students in grades 1 through 12 from French kissing during school hours.

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