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Spoof news events on this day in history
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(2007) 2 Girls 1 Cup Actress Dies at 22
Jessica Marion died today at the age of 22. She was well known for the cult like short movie from 2 Girls 1 Cup. She died from complication stemming from food poisoning traced to a Los Angeles street vendor from a tainted buttered corn cob.
(2007) Big Brother twins Sam & Amanda Marchant launch naked holographic pop-up Advent Calendar
London - (Bre-Assed Cheek & Reuterus): Big Brother twins Sam and Amanda Marchant are launching their naked pop-up Advent Calendar at the Piccadilly Circus Trocadero this week.
(2005) Fruitcake Attacks, Devours Pit Bull
Houston, TX : Yesterday a 9-inch fruitcake attacked and ate a full-grown pit bull. Rocky was a 4 year old American Pit Bull Terrier weighing in at just over 75 lbs.
(2012) Teen sentenced to ten years in church chooses Church of Satan
MUSKOGEE, Oklahoma (ABSNN) - When Oklahoma District Judge Mike Norman sentenced a teenaged youth who caused his friend's death in a car crash to church for ten years, he likely thought the boy would choose an evangelical church like the Nazarenes or...
(2005) Stick-Figure-Man Wins Copyright Lawsuit
In a stunning victory today, Stick-Figure-Man (S-F-M) won his decades long lawsuit against the world. Experts predict that the reward he'll earn for copyright infringement and libel will be in the high billions if not trillions.
(2005) Pillsbury Doughboy Sick of Being Poked
After receiving the horrible news of having acid reflux, the Pillsbury doughboy told Americans around America that he was sick of being poked. This is horrible news for Pillsbury, who has based their campaign for years around the cute sound that the...
(2008) Miley Cyrus tells Zac Efron to get his cock circumcised before she allows him to see her tits
Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus has issued an ultimatum to High School Musical actor Zac Efron: get you cock circumcised before I let it anywhere near my tits.
Efron owns a cockerel that likes nothing better than waking him at dawn break every mo...
(2005) Is New Buffalo Nickel Gay?
The United States Mint is facing a political firestorm over whether the new buffalo nickel is gay. The new nickel, which resurrects the buffalo image after an 87-year absence, has been targeted by several conservative and religious groups. Dr. Jam...
(2005) Pilots Fly Better Drunk, Study Shows
Miami, FL - A study released this week by the National Institutes of Health reveals that pilots actually do a better job when drinking on the job or immediately before going to work. The study, due to be published in this month's issue of
(2005) Nancy Grace Turns in Pot-Smoking Sister
ATLANTA (AP) Nancy Grace, a Court TV analyst and former Atlanta prosecutor is now a rising star on CNN. Rising ratings and even rumors of replacing Larry King have not seemed to satisfy the often-abrasive Nancy Grace. Many TV viewers believed that Na...
(2006) Murdoch Releases Titles Considered for O.J. Simpson Book
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Rupert Murdoch, owner of ReganBooks, publisher of O.J. Simpson's how-I-murdered-my-wife book titled "If I Did It", has bowed to public pressure and released the titles that were first considered but later rejected f...
(2010) Robert Pattinson to be Prince William's best man
Robert Pattinson has accidentally revealed that he is to be Prince William's best man at his wedding to Kate Middleton next June after Prince William sensationally announced that he would not be having his younger brother Harry as best man.
Palace...
(2008) Michigan Legalizes Prostitution
In a bold attempt to jump start the Michigan economy, chief Madam, Governor Jennifer Granholm has thrust a new proposal into congress suggestively guiding the legislative body towards the legalization of prostitution. Entering it quickly in the hal...
(2003) Mickey Mouse suffers Massive Stroke on Birthday!
A sad day for the Disney fans everywhere. On the morning of Mickey's 75th birthday, he was the victim of a massive stroke. The extent of the damage is not yet known but Goofy was overheard saying that "Old Mick" was slurring his words...
(2005) Oil Found in Antartica - Bush Sends in Military
SOUTH POLE, Antartica - With the news of a major oil repositories discovered in Victoria Land, Antartica, the U.S. military has been put in motion.
(2009) Hooded Nude Bill Clinton In XXX Midget Movie Identified By Lewinsky
"That is Bill Clinton!" stated former aide to the president, Monica Lewinsky, according to an unnamed source who didn't want her family to know she watched such movies.
Lewinsky is said to have stated, "There's that triple mole on his back near th...
(2010) Royal Wedding to be a drab affair
In these times of government imposed austerity, the Royal Family have been warned not to indulge themselves in their usual excesses, when the time comes for Prince William and Kate Middleton to marry.
Palace officials are acutely aware that the co...
(2012) Pot Smokers Concerned After Announcement "No More Twinkies"
Following Friday's announcement that Hostess Brands was shuttering its facilities and ceasing operations, sales of the company's flagship product, Twinkies, have increased 10 fold - with some paying up to $550 for just one crème filled cake.
T...
(2011) Natalie Wood Boat Captain Finally Reveals All
Friends of the The Captain of the boat that Natalie woods died on have revealed new evidence about the night of her fatal accident.
They have stated that, on the night of the drowning, the captain told his friends he heard shouting and screaming...
(2009) Dakota Fanning Sues Hannah Montana for Identity Theft
Actress Dakota Fanning has filed a lawsuit in California courts claiming that the Hannah Montana television show has stolen her identity. Fanning, whose full name is Hannah Dakota Fanning, claims that the program stole her name by dropping her last...
(2008) Pirates Capture Saudi Oil Tanker
Somali pirates, led by Captain Long John O'dinga, have seized a giant Saudi-owned oil tanker in the Indian Ocean and are steering it towards their Eyl port base, according to the latest online Daily Shitraker news reports. The ship's cargo of light c...
(2010) Naked Jonas Brothers: Out Of Control!
Joe Jonas told reporters today that he didn't use bad language but that he and his brothers have had enough with all this "garbage".
"We try to put out the best music we can and our fans are the greatest in the world but this thing is totally out...
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Courtney Stodden shows plastic surgeon's handiwork
Teen bride Courtney Stodden promised her mom she'd never go naked, and, in showing off her new Double-D boobs, she hasn't broken that vow: "Theyre not mine," she said. "They're my plastic surgeon's."
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