Spoof news events on this day in history
(2007) Bill Gates Still Not Running for President
Bill Gates continues to deny rumors that he will enter the 2008 race for President. Earlier hints that New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg might run prompted speculation that Gates would enter the race.Read full story
(2008) Greetings to all from George Galloway
As no one has had the common decency and anger to mention George Galloway recently, I obtained permission to post the following report which appeared in both Exchange and Mart and The 2008 Brownie Annual.Read full story
(2007) Mourin-Ho tested for rabies
London - (Ass Mess): Chelsea coach Jose Mourin-Ho was quarantined by London police last night after breaking out in a rabid fit while being arrested for smuggling his dotty pooch into the country without the usual quarantine formalities to determine...Read full story
(2007) Teachers Upset Saltpeter Put In Their Food
For many years, private schools and boarding schools were accused of putting saltpeter (Potassium Nitrate) in the food of their male students to keep down their sex drive. With the recent increase in numbers of teachers sleeping with or molesting st...Read full story
(2008) Obama Buys Port-A-John to Avoid Public Bathroom Scandal
Barack Obama has announced that he will be traveling with a Port-A-John until he has secured the Democratic Party presidential nomination.Read full story
(2008) Thousands Don't Attend Old Kids' Comeback
Tens of thousands of New Yorkers didn't bother watching Old Kids On The Block's comeback today, as they performed again for the first time in 85 years.Read full story
(2007) Candyland Volcano Erupts: Residents Evacuated
Nostalgia, Candyland -- Long-smouldering Mount Jimmy erupted in Candyland today, imperiling the surrounding village of Lollipop Woods, which had to be evacuated. Mt. Jimmy spewed forth a rain of toxic jimmies on Lollipop Woods and set fire to many o...Read full story
(2007) LA church sale to fund sex claims, Vatican next?
The Roman Catholic archbishop of Los Angeles has said his archdiocese will sell its main orifice to raise money to settle lawsuits for sexual abuse.Read full story
(2010) Dolly Llama Toys Upset Tibet
Persons in Tibet and other countries who follow the Dalai Lama are upset by the new Mattel Price "Dolly Llama" toys. The plush figures are meant to be ridden on by Barbie Dolls and other figures in the Barbie universe. When asked why they gave th...Read full story
(2004) Excretion Bad For you
Contrary to accepted opinion, scientists at MIT have determined that excretion is not only pointless, it is actually bad for you.Read full story
(2008) Golf Industry Condemns Bush Iraq Policy
Belle Aire - The golf world condemned George Bush's claim that he gave up golf to help our troops in Iraq.Read full story
(2012) Rupert Murdoch Involuntarily Quits News Corp
WHITE PLAINS, NY - The news this week, that Rupert Murdoch is not fit to run News Corp as Chairman and CEO, has hit him pretty hard according to close friends and business acquaintances. Not one to let any moss grow under his feet, however, Murdoch h...Read full story
(2018) "Stumpy legged men aint sexy," claim Cambridge University!
University student fees are horrendously expensive in the UK and, many students find themselves, after leaving university, in impoverished situations because they can't get a decent job. Well is it a wonder after reading the latest nonsensical stu...Read full story
(2004) Jesus Rises From The Dead Again - Theology Screwed
Theologians the world over are in an uproar today because Jesus of Nazareth has risen from the dead again. Climbing up out of a manhole in Jerusalem, the dishevelled, bearded Jesus disrupted traffic for over an hour as authorities searched him for w...Read full story
(2010) Will Young To Star As Geoff Hurst In Ben Elton's 1966 - The Musical!
Sir Ben Elton, one time stand up comedian cum novelist and respected West End Producer has announced that as it's World Cup year and England don't stand a cat in hell's chance of winning it, he's going to give us all something to shout about. '196...Read full story
(2004) Aliens Attack Mississippi - Tens of Dollars Damage
(Jackson, Mississippi) What is being called a "motor boat from Mars" apparently dove repeatedly upon Jackson, Mississippi this morning, strafing with an exploding light beam and flying through homes, businesses and schools, wreaking havoc and leaving...Read full story
(2011) US stripper, Chelsea, has boobs that weigh more than Victoria Beckham!
A US stripper called Chelsea (no relation to the footie club who "boobed" it against United) has the biggest boobs on the planet and they even weigh more than that fab stick insect called Victoria Beckham. She paraded them on the morning TV show w...Read full story
(2008) Halliburton Gets Contracts for US Southern Border and Sadr City Walls!
Cheney's Corporation, Halliburton has been granted multi million dollar construction contracts to erect barriers between the US and Mexico and the Iraqis and the Iraqis in Sadr City.Read full story
(2010) Don McLeroy's Texas Education Changes Don't Go Far Enough!
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Austin, TX - Don McLeroy's proposed May 2010 amendments to social studies curriculum standards for Texas public schools don't go far enough. Nowhere did I see any mention of Pecos Bill being responsible for founding the ca...Read full story
(2010) Australia Names its "Wanker of the Year"
Magazine Ralph has controversially called food handling tough - but popular - Australian food critic at the top of its annual 100 "Wankers" list, Master Chef judge Matt Preston was ejaculated for being "pompous" - though you could add every curse kno...Read full story
(2008) Veteran politician Ming Campbell and antique entertainer Max Bygraves form double act and release new CD
The entertainment world was thrown into raptures today when former leader of the LibDems, Ming Campbell and teenage heartthrob of the late 19th century Max Bygraves announced their collaboration on a CD of new songs entitled "Ming alonga...Read full story