Spoof news events on this day in history
(2009) Child Born with Hat Stand IQ Stuns Ivy League Profs
Child born with the IQ of a Hat Stand immediately works out the quickest route for navigating a bowl of spaghetti. This remarkable achievement took place on the child's first day of life. By the second day the child solved the "Salesmanship...Read full story
(2010) Trapped - the Story of Men Cooped up in a Mine in Chile
Soon to the big screen will be the amazing story of 33 miners who found their true homosexuality trapped together in a mine 700 meters under ground. "It was hard at first to admit to ourselves what we were. It started after a couple of weeks be...Read full story
(2012) Michigan To Begin Issuing Fines To Undecided Voters
LANSING, Michigan - Governor Rick Snyder speaking from his Governor's Mansion, Ethanol Estates, has just issued a governor's directive. The governor has said that he is sick and tired of hearing about all of these so called undecided voters. He...Read full story
(2009) Lincoln Memorial Comes To Life After Lightning Bolt Strike
Columbus Day tourists to the famed Lincoln Memorial fled in terror as the famous statue rose from it's perch after an errant lightning bolt struck it. Rising to a height of 28 feet tall, the bewildered behemoth lumbered forth smashing the Doric co...Read full story
(2008) Ringo sick of being a Beatle, tells fans to p*ss off
Ringo, the 68-year-old 'former Beatle' and their forty-fifth choice for drummer, forcefully told reporters yesterday to stop referring to him as 'former Beatle' when referring to him in the news. "You people do realize The Beatles broke up in 1970...Read full story
(2008) Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson Trigger Celestial Event
In an unprecedented an historic celestial event, the Earth stopped rotation on its axis for three tenths of one second after midnight last night. Seismic alarms were triggered across the globe as the stoppage in rotation caused an immediate shift in...Read full story
(2004) Bush Props Up Social Security, Sells Idaho
Boise, ID - In an unprecedented move, the President announced today that he will sell the state of Idaho in order to maintain a financially solvent Social Security. The Sultan of Brunei has signed an Intent to Buy agreement with the US that excha...Read full story
(2007) Nobel Peace Prize Distributed In Cereal Boxes
Geneva (IP) - The Nobel Peace Prize is being given to so many folks these days that it has been decided to issue them via cereal boxes.Read full story
(2009) Agony Aunt about to get HIV
Author's Note - The actual advice columnist who gave such advice was not "Miss Terry". For liability reasons, her name is changed to that. If one was aware of the actual name, the article would be funnier. - Dean West Washington, D.C. - Recently...Read full story
(2009) Obama Rushed To Hospital After Getting Up & Walking Funny!
President Barack Obama was rushed to a Maryland hospital this morning just to be on the safe side after he got up from bed and began walking funny. "He was kind of one-sided", stated wife and first lady, Michelle Obama. "I was afraid it was a str...Read full story
(2010) Aguilera Seen at Clooney's Lake Como Villa
Having had enough of "immature boys", as Christina was overheard saying on yesterday's first class flight into Milan, Ms. Aguilera has apparently moved on and moved up the maturity scale after being sighted today at George Clooney's Vila in Bellagio,...Read full story
(2009) Dutch far right leader Geert Wilders stuffs UK and enters legally, Sieg Heil!
Geert Wilders, Dutch far right politician and "lover" of Maroccans, Turks and Muslims in general can now enter the UK legally! Albeit, he's left his Dutch "SS Speziell Einheid" troopers under a bridge in Amsterdam preparing for a "Blitzkrieg" wate...Read full story
(2009) 'This ish it' - Michael Jackson defecates posthumously
Pottytown, PA - Michael Jackson fans are surprised by the recent release by Michael Jackson - 'This ish it'. According to my source, Dr. Undie Taker of Peter Pan Memorial Garden, posthumous defecation is actually quite common. In fact, "Many prison...Read full story
(2007) Computer Virus Result of Corrupt Republican Search
Washington (IP) - Computer users have complained to Congress that when they enter "list of corrupt republicans" into a search engine that their computers are automatically sent a virus which wipes out their hard drive.Read full story
(2010) Actor Gary Sinise Does The Impossible!
Tuesday October 12th, Actor Gary Sinise did the impossible, taking a shit while running at full speed. "Well, it all started as a bet a few weeks ago" says Sinise. Claiming it to be like the bet that took place years ago between wether or not A...Read full story
(2009) Mya Is The Favorite To Win This Year's Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Rhythm and blues and soul pop singer Mya Marie Harrison, who is known simply as Mya is the odds-on-favorite to win this year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. The stunningly sexy 30-year-old Mya, who has the face of a 16-year-old, b...Read full story
(2010) Katie Waissel Favourite For aXe-Factor
The X-Factor Madonna wannabe, Katie Waissel, looks like the odds on favourite to get the chop with the axe on the show this weekend, according to bookmaker Alfie Shirtlifter. Alfie has slashed the odds on Katie getting the kaibosh to 6-4 on after...Read full story
(2008) Republican Daughters of the American Revolution Riot in the Streets After Palin Keynote at their Convention!
Call them straight-laced, dowdy and aristocratic if you wish but after listening to Sarah Palin's campaign of hate speech, the little old ladies became firebrands in the image their revolutionary ancestors. Bostonians have rarely seen elderly ric...Read full story
(2007) Eagles' Avian Flu Charity Halloween Gig
O2 Arena - (Trick-or-Treat Mess): A secretive, dedicated bird flu-combating entrepreneur is believed to be behind classic 70s rock band The Eagles' performance of a rare one-off private gig.Read full story
(2010) BBC to auction official book of clichés used in miners' rescue coverage - profits go to Maggie Thatcher foundation
A chance to literally own your very own piece of broadcasting history emerged after the BBC today indicated it would auction 150 copies of Carnage on the Scale of What Happened in Europe During the Two World Wars - the corporation's official book of...Read full story
(2007) Britney Spears Awarded Custody Of Two Plastic Dolls To Prove 'Mother-Worth'
Britney Spears, the troubled pop star, has been given custody of two plastic baby dolls, so that authorities can ascertain whether or not she is capable of spending time safely with her children agai...Read full story
(2008) Palin Stripped to Get Hated Former Brother-in-Law Fired!
They say that Sarah Palin was so desperate to get her sister's former husband fired that she stripped for every official who could can the SOB. Attached photo purportedly taken by the Wasilla Trash Commissioner, "Flies" McGinty, was shown to the...Read full story