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10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2697801#1#55234

Courtney Stodden shows plastic surgeon's handiwork

Teen bride Courtney Stodden promised her mom she'd never go naked, and, in showing off her new Double-D boobs, she hasn't broken that vow: "Theyre not mine," she said. "They're my plastic surgeon's."

10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2601042#2#884055

Brazilian bus fares cut

A recent rise in Brazilian bus fares sparked violent protests, followed by widespread boycotts. As a result, fares have been cut, and passengers need pay only two hens and a goat during rush hour.

10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.2386111#3#181146

George Zimmer fired

Stripped of his position by the ingrates on the board of directors of the company he founded, Men's Warehouse CEO George Zimmer plans to sell clothes out of his car's trunk. "Maybe thongs," he said.

10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.1001505#4#820886

James Gandolfini dies

As the result of a suspected mob hit, James Gandolfini, godfather of the notorious Soprano crime family, died while on "vacation" in Rome, Italy. He was 51.

10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.085787#5#812085

Dolce and Gabbana design new fashion line

Italian fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana, recently convicted of tax evasion and facing prison time, have launched a new line of apparel for "inmates who want to look stylish."

10#14479#Gee Pee#41445.079294#6#891016

Obesity a disease

Bowing to pressure from First Lady Michelle Obama, the AMA voted to declare obesity a disease, calling for Michael Moore's execution, even as it vastly increased its potential patient population.

10#8514#Bureau#41445.0450347#7#46866

Afghan government to shun US talks with Taliban

Also Amish, Mennonites, Quakers, Extraterrestrials.

10#8514#Bureau#41445.0374653#8#893141

New Virus Found in Middle East Could Be Deadlier Than SARS!

Apparently it starts by dulling your brain and spreads rapidly and you're dead within 24 hours but I don't care. Hah Hah Hah!

10#8514#Bureau#41444.9170833#9#138475

President Has Fool-Proof Plan For Huge Debt

It was announced today that in August of this year the U.S. and Chinese Presidents will meet to discuss huge American debt. Mr. Obama will be taking guests Ben Bernanke and Bernie Madoff with him.

10#8514#Bureau#41444.9115856#10#786031

Several IRS Agents May Get Stiff Sentences

Over one hundred agents plead guilty of spying and ask to be shipped to Montego Bay for rest of their lives.

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