Showing the very latest breaking spoof news snippets. You can use the calendar on the right to browse through the most recent breaking news snippets.

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Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy

In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.

written by Aspartame Boy, 15 October 2017
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Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club

It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

written by Al N., 13 October 2017
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Republicans Admit They Plan to Just Start Ignoring Trump and Let Pence Take Over as President

As long as Trump is allowed to watch TV, tweet, and golf he won't know the difference.

written by Al N., 11 October 2017
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Vice-President Pence Leaves Colts vs. 49ers Game During Protests

He thought they were bowing to him, and when he found out they weren't, he got embarrassed and left.

written by Al N., 10 October 2017
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Strictly come dancing with the dead!

Madagascans do it, so why shouldn't the rest of the world! Fred Astaire would be tap dancing in his grave!

written by Jaggedone, 09 October 2017
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"You're fired!"

I hear the Republican Party appeared on a recent episode of The Apprentice as one of its guests and was promptly fired by its addled host.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 07 October 2017
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U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Denies Calling Trump a "Moron"

"What I actually said was that he was a FUCKING moron!" said Tillerson.

written by Al N., 07 October 2017
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When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?

After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 06 October 2017
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Trump Will Have Every Puerto Rican's Paychecks Garnished Until Hurriacae Maria Damage is Paid Off

...Even though the Federal Government hasn't actually done anything yet...

written by Al N., 06 October 2017
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Trump to Return to Puerto Rico to Throw More Rolls of Paper Towels to the Crowd

"The towels did so well to help the suffering of Puerto Rico last time that we've brought more.

written by Al N., 05 October 2017
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When is a leg of lamb not?

The answer is when a lamb is born with five legs and one is amputated before somebody butcher's it! No mint required...

written by Jaggedone, 03 October 2017
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Gun Rights Activist Dwayne LaPenis Shot While Giving a Speech to the Gun Lobby

Dies Minutes Later as Attending Physicians Offer Their "Thoughts and Prayers"

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 02 October 2017
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Al Gore warns of a pending eclipse of the Sun by the Eatth

At Midnight

written by Aspartame Boy, 29 September 2017
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Instead of Kneeling to Protest Racism, Sport Figures Will Now Protest Trump Instead

They will do so by pulling things out of their asses during the National Anthem.

written by Al N., 28 September 2017
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Trump Defects to Russia

Putin has him immediately thrown into the gulag.

written by Al N., 26 September 2017
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NBC Offers to Renew 'The Apprentice' If Trump Will Resign As President

This was in response to a petition signed by practically everybody in the U.S. and most of Canada.

written by Al N., 24 September 2017
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Trump Will Reply to Kim Jong Un As Soon As He Looks Up All the Words

...especially "dotard."

written by Al N., 23 September 2017
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Elton John Demands Royalty from Trump Over Using the Term Rocket Man

Kim Jong Un said he would rather be Capt. Fantastic, Levon, or even Honky Cat more than Rocket Man.

written by Al N., 22 September 2017
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Trump Threatens to "Totally Destroy" Republican Party

President Donald Trump today expressed his disgust with the Republicans failure to pass any significant legislation. "I will totally destroy the Republican party if this continues."

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 19 September 2017
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Cable's Cabal

The Lib Dem party conference is going on at the moment. If anyone's looking for a party that has less impact in the House of Commons than a lingering fart

written by Backandtotheleft, 19 September 2017
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When is a US toy not a Chinese sex toy?

Chinese sex toy producers saves US giant toy retailer's neck by flogging its whole stock to them! US kids aint happy, but their dads certainly R, us too!

written by Jaggedone, 19 September 2017
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Forgotten Keys

47 years ago, at 7:45 a.m., Ed Terwilliger stopped on his way to his car, thinking he'd forgotten his keys. He felt his front pocket--reassured he had them--and left for work in his neighbor's car.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 18 September 2017
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Boris Johnson Denies Misusing Official Statistics

'We will recover £350 million per week by leaving the EU,' he reassured reporters, 'and 110 per cent of that will be directed to the NHS.'

written by Swan Morrison, 17 September 2017
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White House Declares War on ESPN

Rumors are rife that Trump is planning a drone attack on ESPN headquarters due to anti-Trump tweets.

written by Al N., 15 September 2017
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Man Apologizes while Running Marathon

Runner Bart Snard apologized to other runners, who collapsed on the track. "I ate Beef-a-Reeno; it fermented or something." Said one runner: "I'm never running again. I think I have lung damage."

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017
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Nostalgia

Nostalgia is not what it used to be, as sales of rose tinted spectacles have fallen for the first time in years.

written by Ben Macnair, 14 September 2017
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Trump Says He Has Evidence Obama Caused Hurricane Harvey

And he's pretty sure that the Congressmen who didn't vote for his health care bill caused Irma.

written by Al N., 09 September 2017
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Trump Fires Secret Servicemen for Not Protecting Him from Press

"I have been ambushed by the press for the last time! I need some real protection!" tweeted Trump.

written by Al N., 08 September 2017
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Trump Pardons Hitler

"He was just a misunderstood guy trying to help his country! I know how that goes" said Trump.

written by Al N., 07 September 2017
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New Yorker Mag Sinks to Lowest Depth Yet

New Yorker advocates treason by headlining traitorous trannie Chelsea Manning in their forthcoming annual radical chic group grope. Surely Pardoned in Chief Obama will be there as Chelsea's date.

written by Trinculoman, 07 September 2017
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Tom Cruise to Progress to New Upper Level as He Audits His Body Thetan's Body Thetans

He has to put the BT's BTs through drug rehab, get them all GEDs, & audit THEIR Body Thetans.

written by Al N., 06 September 2017
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Woman Eats Food Past its Due Date and Expires

A Westinghouse refrigerator was taken into custody.

written by Al N., 04 September 2017
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Trump suffers brain damage.

US president Donald Trump has been confirmed as suffering serious brain damage after being shot in the genitals by a feminist extremist. More as we get it...

written by ElliottB, 03 September 2017
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Trump Blames Obama For Any and All Mistakes He Might Make

"Obama should have ordered a psychiatric profile on me when he had the chance!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 03 September 2017
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Trump to Order all Non-White Supremacists to Wear White Armband with Peace Sign On It

Republicans refused to comment on the order.

written by Al N., 29 August 2017
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An Antifa member has lost something important

An unnamed Antifa member was quoted as saying, "I went to riot and beat up some fascists like the others, but now that it's over, I can't find my penis! My boyfriend won't care, but how can I pee?"

written by Purple Girl, 29 August 2017
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Satan to Allow Cosby Reruns in Hell

The Cosby reruns will join the Stu Erwin Show, Manimal, and My Mother the Car in perpetual reruns.

written by Al N., 28 August 2017
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Bill Cosby Now Has Higher Approval Rating than Trump

People also indicated that they liked O.J. Simpson and Charles Manson more than Trump.

written by Al N., 28 August 2017
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Trump Suspends Russia Investigation Due to Hurricane Harvey

"Helping the hurricane victims is much more important than any fake news investigation" said Trump.

written by Al N., 27 August 2017
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Trump To Pardon Melendez brothers?

What's next? After the Joe Arpaio pardon, will Trump pardon each of the Menendez brothers?

"They were just kids! Kids!!! They won't do it again!"

written by K.C. Bell, 26 August 2017
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Navy commissions U.S.S. Donald J. Trump

A very shallow draft vessel that carries several tons of baggage, it's an old design that tends to list severly to the right and is virtually unsteerable.

written by The Ruling Authority, 21 August 2017
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New Yorkers Now Say "Take a Trump" Instead of "Take a Dump"

They also say things like "This place is a Trump!"

written by Al N., 21 August 2017
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Tom Cruise's Body Thetans Return and Disable His Leg

"I'm pretty sure once I take the next OT level the body thetans will be gone for good!" said Cruise.

written by Al N., 21 August 2017
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Pigeons In Uproar Over Loss of Statues

The recent nationwide spree of removing public monuments has resulted in an upheaval among the so called 'rats with wings' as they attempt to cling to structures that no longer exist.

written by GProwler, 19 August 2017
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Trump Adopts 2020 Campaign Slogan

Let's Make America O-KKK Again!

written by Mike Peril, 18 August 2017
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Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails

"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.

written by Al N., 17 August 2017
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Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary

After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."

written by Al N., 12 August 2017
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Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King

"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017
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Guam Preemptively Surrenders To North Korea in Response to Nuclear Threats

"Would you trust someone like Trump whose never heard of you to defend you?" asked the head of Guam.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017
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Trump Calls Palace of Versailles "A Real Dump"

"I just like to be at home in my NY penthouse or at my own golf course, courtesy of the taxpayers!"

written by Al N., 07 August 2017
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