Spoof news snippets from October 2017
There were 20 spoof news snippets published in October 2017. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?
After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.
Trump Will Have Every Puerto Rican's Paychecks Garnished Until Hurricane Maria Damage is Paid Off
...Even though the Federal Government hasn't actually done anything yet...
Vice-President Pence Leaves Colts vs. 49ers Game During Protests
He thought they were bowing to him, and when he found out they weren't, he got embarrassed and left.
Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club
It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead
The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."
White Supremacists and KKK Deny Support of Trump
"Even us racists are too embarrassed of him to give him our support" said a guy dressed like Hitler.
Previously Unknown Angle on Clinton Funding of Fusion GPS Now Revealed
Clinton campaign paid not only to tell lies about Trump in Russia, but also paid Agent Steele to pimp for Bubba in Moscow after $500K speech. Real narrative is about Bubba shagging Russki whores.
Gun Rights Activist Dwayne LaPenis Shot While Giving a Speech to the Gun Lobby
Dies Minutes Later as Attending Physicians Offer Their "Thoughts and Prayers"
When is a leg of lamb not?
The answer is when a lamb is born with five legs and one is amputated before somebody butcher's it! No mint required...
Trump to Return to Puerto Rico to Throw More Rolls of Paper Towels to the Crowd
"The towels did so well to help the suffering of Puerto Rico last time that we've brought more.
U.S. Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Denies Calling Trump a "Moron"
"What I actually said was that he was a FUCKING moron!" said Tillerson.
Strictly come dancing with the dead!
Madagascans do it, so why shouldn't the rest of the world! Fred Astaire would be tap dancing in his grave!
Republicans Admit They Plan to Just Start Ignoring Trump and Let Pence Take Over as President
As long as Trump is allowed to watch TV, tweet, and golf he won't know the difference.
Harvey Weinstein ejaculated from Motion Picture Academy
In an emergency meeting of the Motion Pictue Academy, reviewing the sexual antics of Weinstein until, in a crescendo of passion, they ejaculated him all the way to New Jersey, land of the creeps.
Trump Tweets That Gary Busey Will Be the New Secretary of State
"My administration is in a ratings slump, and Busey has generated good ratings for me in the past"
Scientists say Universe shoudn't exist
The Universe responds: Scientists shouldn't exist.
Twitter Tech People Devise a Custom Twitter Feed to Their Best Customer, Donald Trump
The keyboard of the Twitter device has a very tiny keyboard and can accomadate very small hands.
I hear the Republican Party appeared on a recent episode of The Apprentice as one of its guests and was promptly fired by its addled host.
Canadian Rock Icon Dies, New Orleans Sinks
his band denies having anything to do with this catastrophe. When asked to comment, mayor Mitch Landrieu could only say: "Blub gurgle burble glub blub!"
Berserk AI program in spasmodic thrashing
.. keeps selecting Aspartame Boy as the Featured Writer.