Spoof news snippets from August 2017
There were 24 spoof news snippets published in August 2017. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King
"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.
Trump to Order all Non-White Supremacists to Wear White Armband with Peace Sign On It
Republicans refused to comment on the order.
President Trump Locks Eric Trump in the Tower of Trump Tower
"Eric broke and admitted to the press that he helped fund my campaign with charity money. Too weak!"
Keep your pistol in your pocket during kinky sex!
UK sexual psychologists are telling lovers of kinky sex to keep their "pistols" in their pockets and not stick it in where the sun never shines OUCH!
Trump Calls Palace of Versailles "A Real Dump"
"I just like to be at home in my NY penthouse or at my own golf course, courtesy of the taxpayers!"
Guam Preemptively Surrenders To North Korea in Response to Nuclear Threats
"Would you trust someone like Trump whose never heard of you to defend you?" asked the head of Guam.
Bozo T. Clown Fired as Trump Press Secretary
After only 48 hours as Press Sec., Mr. Clown was fired by Trump for "inappropriate working attire."
Trump Says Obama and Hillary Tricked Donald Trump, Jr. Into Releasing Incriminating E-Mails
"I got disguised, got him drunk, and then hypnotized him to make his e-mails public." said Hillary.
Tom Cruise's Body Thetans Return and Disable His Leg
"I'm pretty sure once I take the next OT level the body thetans will be gone for good!" said Cruise.
New Yorkers Now Say "Take a Trump" Instead of "Take a Dump"
They also say things like "This place is a Trump!"
Trump To Pardon Melendez brothers?
What's next? After the Joe Arpaio pardon, will Trump pardon each of the Menendez brothers?
"They were just kids! Kids!!! They won't do it again!"
Trump Suspends Russia Investigation Due to Hurricane Harvey
"Helping the hurricane victims is much more important than any fake news investigation" said Trump.
Bill Cosby Now Has Higher Approval Rating than Trump
People also indicated that they liked O.J. Simpson and Charles Manson more than Trump.
Satan to Allow Cosby Reruns in Hell
The Cosby reruns will join the Stu Erwin Show, Manimal, and My Mother the Car in perpetual reruns.
North Korea Invaded By Zombies
A rookie U.S. drone spy was convinced by the dead-eye stares and stagger-stepping, that zombies had taken over the malnourished, rubbish country.
'Nope, them's just regular folks!' told his captain.
Chief of Staff Kelly Solves White House Problems
By Finding On/Off Switch and Rebooting System
Trump Presidency Reality Show Cancelled
After about six months it started getting too repetitious.
Viewers complained of too many firings,
too many tweets, and not enough real action.
Celebrity Divas Bring Law Suit Against White House
They are suing for damages due to lost press over past year.
China Demands US Solves Its Canada Problem
"It's only fair if we fix your North Korea problem for you," says President Xi Jinping.
Kim Jong Un Admits Why He's Testing More Rockets
He is tired of being upstaged by President Trump.
Trump Adopts 2020 Campaign Slogan
Let's Make America O-KKK Again!
Pigeons In Uproar Over Loss of Statues
The recent nationwide spree of removing public monuments has resulted in an upheaval among the so called 'rats with wings' as they attempt to cling to structures that no longer exist.
Navy commissions U.S.S. Donald J. Trump
A very shallow draft vessel that carries several tons of baggage, it's an old design that tends to list severly to the right and is virtually unsteerable.
An Antifa member has lost something important
An unnamed Antifa member was quoted as saying, "I went to riot and beat up some fascists like the others, but now that it's over, I can't find my penis! My boyfriend won't care, but how can I pee?"