Spoof news snippets from 2016
There were 808 spoof news snippets published in 2016. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Trump Manager Wants More Debates
Kellyanne Conway, Donald Trump's campaign manager, said today she wants more debates because The Donald has "absolutely crushed Clinton in the 3 so far." Some think Kellyanne is an idiot.
Obama Hit For Hypocracy
A white police cop roughed up Harvard prof, Henry Louis Gates & the Pres. said it was stupid but apologized. After he fired a black woman Shirley Sharrod who Brietbart lied about he wouldn't hire her.
Antony Weiner May Have Ejaculated On Computer
FBI agents who examined Antony Weiner's computer for information on whether he sexted a minor wore latex gloves when handling the computer it has been revealed. It was disgusting to touch it said one.
The Wall Already Exists
Trump keeps talking about building a wall along the Mexican border, which the press keeps reporting. But there's enough wall now so Illegal entrants must cross through remote areas that kill many.
Jaggedone's new newsflashes from under his grubby overcoat!
Politicians, footballers, Justin Bieber, etc, are shaking in their boots hoping that Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) does not feature them! Wicked bastard!
Sex In America Down Because Of Trump
As one women put it, "The thought of having sex with my husband, a man, is horrifying after constantly hearing about Trump's sexual assults and abusive language about women."
Obama Aide David Plouffe Compliments Trump
" I know it's only kind of a left-hand compliment when I called him a psychopath," said Plouffe. But considering he's a sociopathic racist degenerate I was being nice."
Trump And Clinton Have Much In Common
They are the most disliked and distrusted pair of politicians ever to face each other in a U.S. presidential election.
Gov. Paul LePage To Be OK
The governor, who is out of control, said today that he will hold his breath & not talk to the press or anyoneelse. "Good idea, said an opponent, "If he holds it long enough he might become sane.
Real Welfare Queens
States run by Republicans, states that voted against Obama in both elections rely on federal funding for a very high 34% of their total state budget although they say they hate the federal government.
FBI Interferes In 2016 Election
Director Comey's releasing Antony Weiner's computer e-mail content which might threaten national security 11 days before election is just par for the course. See FBI Cointelpro operations.
Guiliani Says Hillary's Health Is Failing
Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani says Hillary Clinton's physical health is failing. He offered no proof saying that people needed just to go to the internet. David Duke said go to his site.
Americans Extremely Confused About Intelligence
How is it that the CIA held valid intelligence on Russian election interference while the FBI actively spread rumors that weren't true?
Why GOP Denies Climate Change And Science
A new study cited in Psychology Today says that conservatives have a significantly lower IQ than liberals. "It comes down to brain structure and you can't change that," is a quote from the article.
Top North Korean Official Executed
Glorious leader Kim Jong-um had him killed because of "disrespectful posture" at a meeting. Officials are rushing to back surgeons to have steel rods implanted to force them to sit straight.
It had to happen sooner or later!
Mark, prestigious editor of the infamous The Spoof, has been removed in a straight jacket after writers discovered he had his marbles crossed and wires loose; maybe it's better that way!
Putin sits on his hooligan barbed wire fence!
After observing Russian & English hooligans fighting WW3 soccer style, Putin has warned both sets of morons that if Russian win, he will give them a medal! If the English win, he'll take them back!
Nigerians make $16 billion dollars vanish!
Nigerian magicians working with corrupt politicians have made $16 billion dollars vanish into thin air! This marvellous trick was so brilliant not even the local Witchdoctor noticed! Black Magic!
New UPS Driver Can't Find The White House
Other drivers have also failed to find 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue after stories of aggressive background checks and body cavity searches by the Secret Service.
Trump Buys Rights to Rump Roast, Will Rename it Trump Roast
Trump objects, however, to people calling their sump pumps Trump pumps.
LACK OF MONEY CUTS BACK ON SCIENCE CLASSES
Lack of money has cut back on science in schools. Those most effected are girls and blacks who can't get classes. "It's ok," said Ted Cruz Sen-Tx. "No one will hire black female scientists anyway."
Passenger Denied Seat Away from Crying Baby
The reason was that she was the baby's mother and required to stay with the child.
New Libertarian Slogan: Feel The Johnson
Just don't feel the Johnson burn.
Billy Bush, Anthony Weiner Determine Election Outcome
The videotape of Billy interviewing sexual assault Trump and Anthony Weiner's sextext investigation and finding that e-mails on his computer might jeopardize national security determine election.
Little Kids Must Face Deportation Judge Alone
The Justice Department says there is no need to provide attorneys for little kids when facing deportation. "Being alone in front of a judge toughens them up," says a spokesman for the Department.
French Jungle stank of garlic!
It has been established that a French Jungle recently destroyed by a bunch of Baguette Bashers stunk of garlic not urine! As the shit hit the fan a pungent cloud smelling of the herb hung in the air!
Trump: I Like Messiahs Who Weren't Crucified
Trump also likes messiahs that don't have to be deported...
Department Of Justice Sues North Carolina To Make Bathrooms Attractive To All Genders
North Carolina is being forced by the DOJ to have both Man Wipes and Fresh Flowers in all bathrooms.
US Swimmers Cover up and Lies Dominate Media Coverage
Head of NBC news said that the story, which consumed hours of coverage, "Is by far much more important that showing U.S.athletes winning Olympic medals as a reward for a lifetime of work."
New TV Ad By Cadillac Ad May Be Hyperbole
"As important as the introduction of fire and electricity to the human race is, the new Cadillac SUV Gigantica is on an equal par with those achievements," says a new TV ad.
Trump issues New Apology
In apologizing to the Gold Star Kahn family the candidate said, "If I've offended you in any way by stomping on your son's grave - which I really don't understand-I regret it."
The Raping Reaper returns!
Sunderland FC have decided to put the final nail in their coffin by employing Moyes as their personal Reaper! He is doing a great job, only after 2 games David has already buried the hatchet!
Trump Says Hillary Doesn't Have Energy To Campaign
The candidate says she doesn't have the strength to campaign. He said this after making one late afternoon campaign stop and, as always, sleeping on his jet on the way to his bedroom at Trump Tower.
Jim Carrey Called a Schizophrenic
When asked whether this was true, he said it was not, then suddenly started to have a conversation with himself.
Trump Campaign Offers Hallucinatory Food
They offer "Pivot Cakes," they're hallucinatory and look like cinnamon roles. Eat one and you'll think Donald Trump hasn't betrayed his followers by changing his core positions.
If You Want To Get A Vote You Have To Meet Voters
Trump won't go to urban areas and speak to black voters. It's a new campaign strategy: Avoid the communities where the voters are.
Erskine Quint goes to Hollywood!
Erskine goes to Hollywood, but not in a gay way, however Frankie did!!
Kim Jong un is just so Bombastic!
North Korean nutter, Kim Jong un, scared the shit out of the world by supposedly testing H bombs, however, he claims that Tom Jones's "Sex Bomb" is to blame because he feels it's a blast!
If Elected, Trump Promises A Free Bottle of Trump Vodka to Every Family in Flint
"This is the best solution to the Flint Water Crisis! Trump's publicist John Miller told the press.
Bill Gates on Desert Island Discs!
Bill Gates appears on BBC 4's Jurassic radio programme, Desert Island Discs divulging his top 10 fav discs and a special one is; I am the Walrus - Apple Record dedicated to Steve Jobs, say's it all!
Devil Involved in 28 Paternity Suits
The Devil, aka Satan & Lucifer, has once more been named as the father in 28 new paternity suits.
Pope Promises Salvation to All Electoral College Members Who Don't Vote for Trump
He also promised that any Trump electors voting for Hillary will receive a free Italian vacation.
Somalia discovers latest exterminating machine!
A plane with a hole in its side landed at Mogadishu airport! 60 passengers were onboard at takeoff and 0 left at landing! The plane is called "Arbeit Macht Frei" ISIS has ordered a fleet of 100!
Real life hijack becomes fantasy!
When does a real life hijack become reality? Ask Malta airport, they have all the answers...
Erskine Quint in "Journey to the centre of the cerebral cortex"
We finish the monumental journey of Erskine Quint, intrepid, incredible adventurer. When all is lost he is found in the year 2566 BC on top of an unfinished pyramid, where better to start THE END!
Message To Marco Rubio:
If you wish to express the incompetence of the President, you must express it in a competent way.
The Donald Touts His Military Creds
His Trumpiness bellows he's "militaristic!" 'Course he is -- he colors his hair with Agent Orange.
Brexit! The Solution!
Those who believe in Brexit please worship Nigel Farage! Not only is he a sheep in wolves clothing Nazi, he is also a total and utter Fucking Moron! Well done Nigel, Hitler would be proud of you!
Clinton Apologizes For Understating Trump's Bigoted Support
Hillary Clinton today apologized for saying only 1/2 of Trump Supporters were xenophoic, Sexist, and racist. "The number, survey show, is closer to 65%" the candidate said/
Is Stephen really Wilde?
Stephen Fry claims he is the reincarnated Oscar Wilde, after his BAFTA disaster many believe he might be right, wild not Wilde!
English Footy hooligans win the Brexit!!
EU headquarters have made a dramatic U-turn in their support for the UK to remain in the Community. English hooligans rioting in France have made us all see the light! Please stay on your Island!
Desperate Cosby Lawyers Play the "Race Card"
This is in spite of the fact that Cosby once told blacks to stop blaming race for their troubles.
Farage pulls a pint of cats piss too many!
Thanks to Nigel Farage's dedication to boozing English cats piss the Euro Cent has dropped between the ears of other EU members! "We don't want English cats piss and we don't want those who drink it!"
The Pope is a Headbanger!
During his Mexican visit The Pope decided to bang his head against a US wall proving not only that he's a "Headbanger" but a hypocrite too because his home, The Vatican, has more walls than China!
Obama In Favor Of Breathing, Republicans Hold Their Breath
After Mitch McConnell and others in the GOP passed out, Republicans reversed their plan to stop breathing and claimed Obama's breathing plan was actually based on their own plan released years ago.
BOJO's Brexit Bullshit!
Top Brit buffoon, BOJO, has now come out and told the world he did not really want Brexit and only supported Farage's exit group because he's an even bigger buffoon than BOJO! That's politics for you!
Ted Cruz Calls Trump Coprocephallic
Cruz, a good christian man who doesn't use curse words, finds a smart way to say Donald Trump has guano between his ears.
Trump fired back threatening a lawsuit if Webster's doesn't sue first.
Angelina Jolie Leaves Brad Pitt for Jeniffer Aniston
"I'm devastated!" said Brad. "I had no idea!!"
Trump Announces His New Platform Will Be Revealed Only to a Trusted Few
"I am building a wall around my platform, and unless you pay, you don't get to see it!" said Trump.
Trump Declares Hillary Unfair for Using Facts During Debate
Trump was compelled to constantly interrupt Hillary to hide the fact that his nose kept growing.
Arsenal offer Cameron Arsene's job!
Sick of losing every year in Europe, Arsenal have offered ex UK Prime Minister, Cameron, Arsene Wenger's job because he only lost once!!
David Cameron to be sanctioned after quitting as PM
David Cameron got himself sanctioned by quitting his job as Prime Minister live on TV. When asked did he regret bringing sanctions in, he declined to comment.
Trump Claims His Microphone Was Faulty...
...you could actually hear him.
North Korea Will Use Atomic Weapons For Executing Political Dissidents
After using starving dogs and anti-aircraft weapons to execute criminals and political opponents, North Korean despot Kim Jong Un will try experimenting with using nuclear weapons next.
Ben Carson Found After Being Missing for 3 Days-He Was Backstage Waiting for His Name to Be Called
In Ben Carson's case, brain surgery is much easier than politics.
Donald Trump to Debate Himself
Convinced he wasn't getting enough airtime in the Republican debates, Donald Trump announced that he will debate himself and cover the pertinent issues he doesn't get asked about-like his life story.
Ghost of Royal Mother To Stop Haunting Royal Palaces
Really, do I have to come out and say it? Prince Philip farts! Even a ghost has limits!
Britex Campaign Fury As Mark Carney Expresses Concern About Negative Economic Effects Of Leaving EU
'It's totally unacceptable,' whinged a number of eurosceptic MPs, 'that someone who knows what he's talking about and doesn't have a personal axe to grind should express a pro-European view.'
Sharapova, a grunt too many!
Famous grunting queen, Maria Sharapova, has told the truth about what drove her to grunting professionally, it was an overdose of viagra! Her sponsors, Nike & co, have given her "The Smash"!
Trump Will Name Himself as Running Mate
Stating that no one can do the job like him, Donald Trump announced that he will be his own vice-presidential running mate. He also planned to cover all the Cabinet positions himself.
Sears and K-Mart To Merge With Dollar Tree
Tired of being unsuccessful, K-Mart and Sears will merge with the very successful Dollar Tree chain.
Taylor Swift Meets Donald Trump and Writes Song
Taylor Swift met Trump, asked him about his stubby fingers, was rebuked, and wrote a song-"Stubby."
Trump Unveils Two New Slogans
"When they go high, we go low!"
"Yo Mexicans, su casa es mi casa!"
Trump Defense Of Bill Cosby Raises VP Speculation
After calling The Cos disgusting and a has been, Donald Trump now says Cosby is a victim of the "dishonest media and money hungry lawyers."
Source: Ted Cruz Is Vamipre Clone Of Sammy Davis Jr.
Trump publicist John Miller has said a source by the name of Thad Forelli will soon reveal details proving that Ted Cruz is the result of experimental vampire cloning gone bad.
Farage, Cameron, Bojo!
British, Bulldog, Bullshit!
Melania Says Campaign Interferes With Trophy Wife Duties
Ms. Trump said today that accusations of sexual assault against her husband were taking time from her shopping.
Trump Tweets That He Should Be In Charge of Punishing Women Who Have Abortions
In his latest paean to misogyny, Trump once again tried to appeal to conservative Republicans.
After Poor Reaction From Wisconsin Crowds, Sarah Palin Lowers Standards
"From now on, you betcha I'm just glad if they don't throw vegetables!" said Palin.
BOJO wins gold Olympic medal at 'Butt-licking!'
New UK Foreign Secretary, BOJO, has wasted no time in proving to the world why May chose him! He has already won a gold Olympic medal at his fav sport, Buttlicking, before the games even started!
United announce; van Gaal to stay!
To quash any further BS written about United's glorious Dutch manager, LVG, the club said he will stay! Global hospitals where United fans tend to reside are being overwhelmed by suicide victims!
Networks Explain Why they Broadcast Donald Trump 24/7
"We don't even care about the other candidates anymore, they don't do the weird stuff Trump does!"
Cameron Undertakes Legal Share Dealing Activity About Which No One Outside The Media Gives A Damn
'Why don't they report on some interesting news,' said a bored member of the public, 'like about Helen and Rob Titchener in Ambridge.'
Cameron Used A "Buy One Get One Free" Offer in Asda To Avoid Contributing Money To The UK Retail Economy
'There will be more revelations,' warned another lazy journalist, 'as we uncover more entirely normal financial dealings that can be made to look to the gullible like financial irregularities.'
Trump Wonders Why His Campaign Team Hasn't Had Him Visit Toronto or Montreal
When told those cities were in Canada, Trump said, "We need all the votes we can get!"
Cameron not alone in his tax-free haven!
It seems that the worst form of satirical scumbag, Jaggedone & his dreaded CIA (Google it) can compete with Cameron by depositing his wealth under a sweaty Panama Hat. And you can vote for him too!
Hollywood Walk of Fame Committee Horrified at Donald Trump Star Vandalism
However, they admitted it won't be fixed very soon since the Hugh Laurie ceremony was so strenuous.
Axel Rose Says British Are Discriminatory to Knight Mick Jagger and Not Him
Axel was surprised when he was told that you have to be British to be knighted by the Queen.
Bill Cosby's Lawyers Have 50 Women Who Knew Bill and Were Never Attacked by Him
"I even accepted drinks from him with no problem" said one. "This proves I'm not guilty!" said Bill.
Trump Would Legalize Crack In Order to Rid the World of It
"It's so genius I'm shocked no one's done it before! We give 'em crack but make crack PIPES illegal"
Swinging Prince Harry promises the Obama's a royal swing!
After their luxurious dinner at Kensington Palace, Prince Harry, has promised the Obamas an "after swing party" in Soho. Barack just cannot wait to see his missus "swinging" with Bojo!
Future Diwali celebrations in ISIS hands!
After the successful Diwali celebrations in India caused an environmental disaster and many deaths the Indian government have asked ISIS to organize future festivals because they need a bigger cull!
Stephen Hawking: Even I Can't Make Sense Of Brangelexit
At one point the famous couple contemplated adopting Hawking.
Shoppers Complain About Shortages Of Christmas Stock
'Don't forget that it's November,' said a retail spokesman. 'Christmas stock is giving way to our product ranges for Easter.'
Raccoons Sue To Stop Use Of "Reverse Raccoon Eyes" To Describe Donald Trump
The animals claim they have reverse Trump eyes.
Trump Limo Crashes, Eye Bags Save The Don From Serious Injury
The driver and an assistant were treated at a Pittsburgh hospital for their injuries.
Michael Phelps The Latest To Pledge Gold Medal To Trump
"I'm OCD about having even numbers, so I'll Give Donald Trump the extra gold medal if I end up with an odd number," says Phelps.
Nostradamus Prediction About Trump Unclear
Interpreters can't tell if he was saying Trump will destroy the desert or ruin the dessert or both.
Trump Announces Campaign Shakeup
Trump has hired Pat Buchanan as his new campaign chair. A white supremacist, he says that in open carry states armed men should prevent a rigged election by going to urban areas to prevent fraud.
Trump Explains Why He Let's Campaign Chair Go
"i got so used to saying, 'You're Fired,' on reality TV that I can't restrain myself," said the candidate concerning the firing of numerous campaign officials.